Stupid Supergirl AU's

Due To Y'all Blowing Up My Dms With This Request

"What is in your closet?" Lena crossed her arms looking at a very suspicious Yelena.
"Nothing. I swear." Yelena swore, a split second before a body fell out of her closet.
"Yelena!" Lena yelled, "Is she alive?" Lena poked the body.
"Of course she is." Yelena kicked the body, resulting in the person coughing themselves awake.
"Who is this?" Natasha asked, towering over the person.
"Oh no. No, no, no, no. Please don't tell me-" The women looked around letting out a breathy, "Fuckkk."
"Who are you?" Alex questioned.
"Well, you know how there's someone who controls everything you do?" The woman asked.
"Yeah?" They all jinxed.
"Well, I'm her." She admitted. Nat picked the woman up and slammed her against the wall.
"Explain!" Nat demanded.
"Wow, this is a lot less erotic than I imagined. Anyway." She pulled out her phone, "See this app? With the W? Yeah well, a lot of people were requesting that I become a character or at least make a cameo in a chapter. So here I am." The writer told her, "And you're shorter than I imagined."
Nat dropped the writer, "How do we send you home?"
"You can't. Based on how this chapter goes, I'll either stay or I'll leave and never return. Kinda like Stan Lee." The writer informed them.
"Greattt now we're stuck with you." Yelena rolled her eyes.
"Also, why the fuck did you hide me in the closet?! I was in there for nineteen years! I don't need to be shoved back in there." The writer glared at Yelena.
"I like her, she's got fire." Yelena glanced towards Natasha, "Can we keep her?"
"Absolutely not!" Natasha said.

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"What would you call Black Widow if she wore a Batman mask?" The writer asked Nia and Lori.
"What would you call her?" Nia responded.
"Bat-asha." The writer laughed at her own joke, along with Nia and Lori.
"Oh my god." Nia wheezed, "Bat-asha!"
Natasha could be seen walking into the room, but quickly turned on her heels and walked out, "Nope. Not dealing with that."

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"Look, Writer Lady, I appreciate you taking an interest in my experiments...and not blowing up my lab, but I really need to concentrate." Lillian told the writer.
"Yeah, I understand. I'll just...chill in the background." She replied, taking a step back.
Lena rushed into the room, "Lillian! It's Lorelei. She's injured."
Lillian immediately took off her safety glasses, "You. Stay here. But don't touch anything." Lillian told the writer.
"Yes ma'am." The writer nodded.
Lillian rushed out with Lena

Hours later Lillian returned, pulling on her lab coat.
The writer immediately hid the beaker she was messing with, "I didn't touch anything!"
"What did you do?" Lillian snatched the beaker off the writer, getting a drop of the formula and putting it on a glass slide. She inspected it through the lens of the microscope, "Oh my god." Lillian turned to the writer, "How did you?-"
"I majored in forensics. For it, I had to do a unit on bioscience. What you're studying is nothing more than a combination of that and psychology. You're trying to neutralise certain brainwaves to eradicate certain emotions. You're essentially attempting to stop the production of certain hormones." The Writer smiled at her, "Also, I've watched Black Widow like seven times already. The Red Room did a similar thing to the Widows."
"I may need to watch that mo-"
"Oh no. It doesn't explain how they did it. Like at all. They just use a similar concept." The Writer got excited just talking about science and the movie.
"I'm sending you back to Lena." Lillian said abruptly.
"Whyyyyy?" The Writer complained.
"Because, I have a movie to watch." Lillian pushed the writer out of the door.

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"Hey Wanda. Where are the idiots?" Nat asked her.
"Oh apparently the writer offended Yelena. So assume stopping Yelena from killing her." Wanda flipped a page of the book her was reading.
"Oh my god." Nat face palmed, "I guess I need to stop this." Nat ran up the stairs and climbed out of Lori's window, pulling herself on to the roof. She saw Yelena attempting to punch the writer as the writer dodged and blocked.
"Go Yelena! I have $20 riding on you!" Nia cheered.
"Alright, that's enough!" Natasha yelled.
"Come onnn Nat!" Yelena looked at the writer, "She started it. And I'm trying to finish it."
"Wait, is that Carol's flannel?" Nat looked at the writer.
"Oh yeah, Carol let me borrow it." The writer looked down at it.
"Never mind. Kill her, I don't care." Natasha climbed back down.
"Wait, Yelena. No. Killing me wasn't part of the plan." The writer shook her head.

Back downstairs Wanda looked up at Nat, "Get back up there and save the writer from your sister."
"Why should I?" Nat asked.
"Because if she dies, I don't get to be with Lori anymore. And you're dead. So go save the writer." Wanda answered.
"Ughhh fine." Nat went back up on to the roof.

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"Where is the writer? And where is Lori?" Lena asked Wanda.
"Hang on." Wanda said, her magic catching the writer from falling to her death, "Here's the writer." Wanda pulled her inside.
"And here's Lori!" Lori rushed into the house, "Oh thank god you caught her."
"Lorelei-"
"Yeah yeah, I know. I'm on dishes duty tonight. But in my defence, Yelena was the one who kicked her out of the helicopter." Lorelei defended.
"What helicopter?" Lena asked.
"The one Yelena bought with your credit card."
Lena turned to the writer, "You let her buy a helicopter with my credit card?!"
"Nope! I'm here which means you all have free control of what you guys do." The writer replied, "Also, please don't get mad at me. I tried my best to stop her."
"Awww she's baby." Nia melted at her.
"Nia, she turned you into a complete idiot." Lena argued.
"In her defence, Nia was an idiot before she got to her." Brainy said.
"Brainy!" Nia gasped.
"What?"
"It's true Nia. You're an idiot, but you're an adorable idiot who lights up my life." The writer smiled at her.

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"Do I have to give this one therapy too?" Kelly asked Alex.
"I mean, she threw herself off a building to see if Kara would hold her different to how she carries Lena." Alex replied, "So yes."
"It was for science!" The writer yelled at Alex.
Kelly sighed heavily, "She's another Carol."
"Also I didn't jump, Yelena pushed me." The writer said. "Although, I did ask her to. So it may have been 100% my fault."
"It was 100% your fault." Yelena blamed her.
"Plusss Kara didn't even say me. Lori did." The writer crossed her arms, "So now I have to do it again."
"NOOO!" Kelly yelled.
"Wow, there really is no pleasing people nowadays. Like I'm sorry I saved your life." Lori rolled her eyes, "Next time, Wanda baby, you're saving her."

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Lorelei was busy rehearsing for the next gig, while the writer was watching.
"Cool, cool, cool. Great song choice. But can you play Stacy's Mom by any chance?" The writer said, pulling her phone out of her pocket.
"If I were to say no, you'd just erase it and put yes. So I guess so." Lorelei said, playing the song for the writer.
When it got to the chorus, the writer decided to join in. But she changed the lyrics slightly.
"Billy's mom has got it goin' on / She's all I want / And I've waited for so long
Billy, can't you see? / You're just not the one for me / I know it might be wrong but / I'm in love with Billy's mom." The change caused Lorelei to laugh so hard that she fell to the ground.
"Oh my god! That's a mood!" Lorelei wheezed.
"I will get Hope to hack your phone and delete all of your memes." Wanda crossed her arms.
"Noooo!!! Not my memes!!! I'm sorry!!!" The writer begged Wanda for forgiveness