Stupid Supergirl AU's

Group Chat

Lena: Hey Kara, send dudes
Kara: Do you mean nudes?
Kelly: You guys are talking in the group chat
Lena: No, I meant send dudes
Lena: I've been kidnapped
Lena: Again
Alex: You need to text better
Lena: I have my hands tied
Lena: I'm pocket texting
Lena: If you want better texting
Lena: send dudes
Lena: To Dave me
Nia: who's Dave?
Lena: save*
Lena: fucking autocorrect
J'onn: Language Lena
Lena: FUCKING SAVE ME
Kelly: I've booked everyone in for a therapy appointment
Mon-El: Kara, if you go save Lena then she'll see
Kara: oh trueee
Kara: soz Lena, you have to stay kidnapped until we fix Lori
Lena: What did you do to our baby?
Alex: she's got a splinter
Lena: Awww my poor baby 🥺
Lena: Wait.
Lena: Lori's indestructible like Kara.
Lena: How does she have a splinter?
Kara left the chat
Nia left the chat
Alex left the chat
Lena added Kara to the chat
Kelly added Alex to the chat
Brainy: How do I add people to the chat?
Kelly: I'll add Nia back
Kelly added Nia to the chat
Brainy: Thank you Kelly.
Kelly: You're welcome Brainy
Lena: I swear to everyone's gods
Lena: Kara if you don't tell me what happened to our daughter
Lena: I am going to lock you outside in the lead shed
Kara: Lori got into your lab😬
Lena: and?
Kara: She touched the Kryptonite and got a splinter
Lena: KARA ZOR-EL DANVERS-LUTHOR
Lena: IF LORI ISNT BETTER BY THE TIME I GET HOME
Lena: YOU ARE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH
Lena: AND NO SNEAKING BACK INTO OUR BED
Kara: okay🥺
Winn: isn't Lena still kidnapped?
J'onn: it's a well known fact that Lena just has to say "my wife is being an idiot again"
J'onn: and Lillian's henchmen go "right sorry. Go control your wife."
Kelly: Why doesn't she just use Kara's stupidity as an excuse every time she gets kidnapped?
Alex: usually it goes like this:
Alex: Bad guy: "You're coming with me Mrs Luthor"
Alex: Lena: "No, not today. I don't feel like it today. Maybe tomorrow? Same time, same place?"
Mon-El: that's why she was late to my birthday
Lena: wrong. I was late because I didn't want to go. But Kara said she'd eat kale if I went.
Lena: fucking lying ass bitch
Lena: that was the SECOND TIME she had destroyed my trust
Kara: but she loves me, so she forgave me
Nia: actually, she forgave you because she wanted to get laid
Nia: and she's a whore for you
J'onn: NIA DONT CUSS
Nia: I DONT FUCKING CUSS
Alex: I mean, it's not like this is some tv show or anything
Me, the writer: 👀 give it a few months and it won't be 👀