Stupid Supergirl AU's

Wanda & Lori

"I don't know guys. The LGBT+ community is kinda...gay"
"Lori, you are dating me!" Wanda pointed out.
"I hate myself for overhearing that joke." Lena groaned.
"Who let Lori be happy?" Nia sighed.
"I hate this house." Nat shook her head.
"I love it here! She's definitely a Danvers." Carol got excited.

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"Hey mom, how do you get pregnant?" Marcus asked Kelly.
"Well when two people love each other-"
Lori cut Kelly off, "Wanda and I love each other."
"Lori, baby, shut up. Let Kelly explain." Wanda shook her head.
"Well, they sleep together-"
"Oh my god, Wanda." Lori turned to Wanda, "We sleep together."
"Lori-"
"What if I'm pregnant?! I'm too young to be a mom!" Lori started panicking.
"You're not pregnant." Lena shook her head.
"How do you know? You don't know what Wanda does to me." Lori argued.
"Lori, you are not pregnant! That only applies to strai-"
"I'm keeping the baby, Wanda." Lori looked at her.
"You're not pregnant." Kelly spoke up.
"Oh my god?! Lori's pregnant. Congratulations Lori." Kara celebrated, "I'm going to be a grandmother!"
"Kara, she's not pregnant." Nat smacked Kara on the back of the head.
"Anyone with more than half a brain cell," Lena looked around, "Would you like to go get food?"
"Yes, please. I need a break." Wanda grabbed her purse.
"You'd leave your pregnant girlfriend here alone?!" Lori yelled at Wanda, "What a bad baby momma."
"Lord, please give me strength to not throw her out of a window." Wanda said, looking  at the roof.

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"Okay, let's play guess what I'm thinking." Kara told the room.
"Okay. Lena?" Nat guessed.
"No." Kara smiled happily.
"Food?" Lena asked.
"Nope! Think hot." Kara replied.
"Potstickers?" Wanda guessed.
"Hotter."
"The centre of a pie when you take it out of the microwave?" Nia asked.
"Hotter."
"Lava?" Carol guessed.
"Even hotter."
"The su-"
Lori cut Kelly off, "Wanda!"
"This is why I don't play games with you people anymore." Lillian said.

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"Lori, why did Lena give me a lecture about doing stupid shit?" Wanda asked Lori as she climbed into their bed.
"Oh because I may have done something stupid." Lori replied.
"Then why was she lecturing me?" Wanda raised her eyebrow.
"Because if I do something stupid, so do you." Lori smiled innocently.
"Meaning?"
"Meaning you're my girlfriend, so I'm your problem...also I wasn't going to take the fall alone. So I said you were monitoring." Lori admitted.
"Lori!" Wanda gasped.
"Yeah yeah, I know. But we both know how you yelling at me is going to end."

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"I have a headache." Wanda complained.
"Yeah well, my back hurts." Lori said, laying on her stomach on the lounge room floor.
"Aww, I'll rub your back." Wanda got on the ground beside her.
"And I'll give you head." Lori replied without thinking.
Everyone stared at them with blank expressions.
"What?" Lena glared at them.
"No! That's not what I meant!" Lori said.
"Wanda, you'll need to leave before Lena or Kara kills you." Alex told her.
"I have magic."
"And I have motherly instincts." Lena replied.

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"Can anyone here speak French?" Wanda asked.
"Wee." Lori replied, "But why do you ask? Does it turn you on?"
Nia choked on her popcorn and Kelly spit out her drink.
"I mean, the hottest things I've ever heard were in French." Wanda admitted.
"Yeah, French is pretty hot." Nat agreed.
"I agree." Lena nodded.
"Same." Kelly admitted.
"Bonjour Natasha!" Carol said in a bad accent.
"Oh no, the idiots are speaking French." Lena looked to Wanda.
"Sacre bleu madamoisell vagina!" Kara yelled matching Carol's bad accent.
"Hon hon hon, I want your titty croissant!" Alex said to Kelly.
"None of you are getting laid tonight." Wanda told everyone.

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"What do we say when we feel bad?" Kelly asked Nia.
"What's up everyone?! Today we'll be streaming Resident Evil Village!" Nia answered energetically.
Kelly turned to Carol, "No. Carol, what do we say when we feel bad?"
"I should go to therapy to get less depressy and more progressy." Carol answered.
"No." Kelly looked at Wanda, "Wanda, what do you say when Lori is depressed and wants to have sex to distract herself?"
"Okay!"
"No!" Kelly said sternly, "Lena, what do you do when you feel like crap?"
"Tequila shots! They make me feel better."
"No." Kelly shook her head.
"Yes!" Alex agreed with Lena.
"Don't encourage her." Kelly glared at Alex. She then looked at Lori, "Lori. Wanda tells you she's feeling depressed, what do you say?"
"Mood."
"Lori. No." Kelly shook her head.
"Welp, I got that wrong. I'm going to yeet myself off the building now."
"NO!" They all jinxed.
"YEET!" Lori said, jumping out of the window.
"Bitch! We said no!" Nat yelled out of the window.
Wanda sighed, "It's a good thing she's indestructible."
"I did a canon Nat!" Lori yelled as they all looked at her from the window.
"WHAT?!" Nat yelled.

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"I'll give you twenty bucks if you call Wanda Magic Fingers next time we're all in a room together." Nia bet Lori.
"Alright, but if she throws me out of a window, you're coming with me." Lori replied.
A while later, everyone was in the lounge room together. Lori was sitting the couch and Wanda was cuddled up beside her - toying with Lori's fingers.
"Anyone want to watch a movie?" Brainy asked, growing bored of watch cartoons.
"No. Let us watch cartoons." Kara replied.
"Babe, can you pass me my phone?" Wanda asked Lori.
"Sure, Magic Fingers." Lori said, grabbing Wanda's phone.
"Are you calling me that because I have magic, or because I'm good with my fingers?" Wanda asked.
Lori went bright red, "I-"
"Wanda Maximoff! I swear to god, if I have to hear anymore of that shit, I will throw you out of the window myself." Lena threatened.
Nia handed Lori twenty bucks, "Call her that from now on and I'll give you ten each time you do."
"Deal." Lori whispered, "If I were you Magic Fingers, I'd listen to my mother."
Nia sighed and handed her another ten, "Lena, I'll be needing your bank details."

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After a long night of not sleeping, Lori walked into the kitchen to find Wanda cooking.
"You're...cooking?" Lori asked sleepily.
"Yeah..." Wanda looked up at Lori, "Is there something wrong with that?"
"No, no. I'm just used to Aunt Kelly cooking." Lori admitted.
Wanda smiled softly, "Well, I thought I'd cook you breakfast, considering you were at L-Corp all night."
"Thank you." Lori smiled at her, walking over. Lori kisses her on the cheek.
"Can you flip the eggs in like thirty seconds? I have to use the bathroom." Wanda asked, already walking off.
"Babe! I can't cook, I am literally incapa- and she's gone." Lori looked down at the eggs, "Alright eggs, it's just me and you."
Wanda returned a minute later to burnt eggs, "You really are a bad cook." Wanda walked over and gently placed her hands on Lori's arms, "Let me teach you."

Everyone woke up to the smell of food. They all walked downstairs to see Wanda teaching Lori how to cook.
"No fire?" Lena looked around, "No stains on my carpet?" Lena looked to Lori, "Who are you and what have to done with my daughter?"
"Wanda's been teaching me a few things." Lori smiled at the redhead.
"Just the basics."
"Wait! Cooking is my job-"
Lori guided Kelly into a chair at the dining room table, "We thought we'd do something nice for you, considering you're always giving us therapy whenever we need it."
"Do you cooked for all of us?" Nat asked.
"Yep!" Lori said happily, "Let's all eat. Wanda, could you?-"
"Sure." Wanda used her magic to place the plates of food around the table in front of everyone.