Multifandom Short Stories

~ it's almost 3 am ~

Fandom: Crash Bandicoot

There is no author's note because it's almost 3 am and I just want to sleep after getting this idea out of my head.

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The chaotic, muffled banging was getting more unbearable with every waking moment. Cortex had every intent on sleeping in that day, since he had no plans, but the goddamn noise was keeping him awake. Not even covering his head with one of his pillows worked. Or two. Not three, he didn't want to risk suffocation.

Although, if a few more minutes had passed with him not doing anything to stop the ruckus, suffocation would have sounded like a viable option.

He took a deep breath, hoping it'd calm himself down at least a little bit, and got up from his bed. Cortex made a quick visit to his desk, then headed out of his room, down the corridors, and reached the source of the horrendous music.

N. Gin's room.

The door slammed open, but even that was muffled out by how loudly the ginger haired scientist was going away at his gigantic pipe organ. He was clearly self-taught, and needed improvement in... everything, but at least they fared better than his vocals.

"CAN I PUT MY BALLS IN YOUR JAW~" N. Gin belted. "BALLS IN YOUR JAW~ CAN I, CAN I-"

"NEW HAMPSHIRE GIN!" Cortex screamed at the top of his lungs.

N. Gin shrieked and slammed his hands on the organ, creating a sound that actually sounded pleasant. "Y-You scared me!"

"AND YOU'VE BEEN KEEPING ME AWAKE FOR THE PAST FEW HOURS! HAVE YOU SERIOUSLY BEEN PLAYING THE EXACT SAME SONG FOR THAT AMOUNT OF TIME?!"

He clasped his hands together nervously. "Uh, well, ah have also played 'Mask' by Dream, an-"

"YOU LIKE THAT SONG?!"

"No! Eet was just a warmup!"

Cortex groaned out of frustration. "Look, it's almost 3 in the goddamn morning, and I'd love to be able to-"

N. Gin gasped. "The spooky hour is almost upon us! That's when all thee challenges on YouTube come from, you know."

"HERE'S A 3 AM CHALLENGE FOR YOU!" Cortex responded, "GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP AND STOP. PLAYING. THOSE. SONGS."

"DOCTAH, I TOOK MELATONIN HOURS AGO AND MY MIND EES GOING AT 50 MILES AN HOUR, EEF NOT FASTER! I HAVE TO GET EET OUT OF MY SEESTEM SOMEHOW!"

"If the solution to your problem is you putting your balls in my jaw, and this is just some convoluted plan to make that happen, I'm going to decline that offer."

N. Gin stared at him in shock. "Seence when was I-?!"

"Well why else would you be blasting that music?" Cortex's tone was calmer now, most likely because exhaustion was starting to catch up with him.

"Eet's funny. Annnd I want that to happen to me, one way or another, but now is not thee time for that conversation."

Cortex raised his eyebrow out of confusion. "What, you're coming out? N. Gin, everyone and their grandma knows you're bisexual."

"Everyone?"

"Well, between you and me, we see eye to eye," Cortex sighed. "And I don't everyone and their grandma to know that."

"Eet's kind of obvious you're not exactly the straightest of thee yardsteecks," N. Gin countered.

Neo made a confused noise. "EXPLAIN?!"

"YOU LEETERALLY WALKED AROUND THEE CASTLE THEE LAST TIME YOU WERE DRUNK, AND TOLD EVERYONE HOW MUCH YOU LOVED MEN EEN PARTICULAR, BUT THEN ALSO KEPT REMINDING EVERYONE THAT YOU'RE NOT GAY EITHER. EEITHER YOU WERE TRYING TO SAVE YOURSELF FROM MORE HOMOPHOBIA, DOCTAH CORTEX, OR YOU'RE BI, WHICH YOU ARE."

"HOW DID THIS CONVERSATION GO FROM YOU PLAYING THE WORST MUSIC KNOWN TO MAN TO US BEINH OPENLY BISEXUAL?!" Cortex fumed.

N. Gin inhaled deeply, looked like he was about to say something, and then slouched. "I got notheeng. I'm sorry for waking you up, Mastah."

Cortex sighed and outstretched his arms. "Come here, my little pogchamp, it's alright."

The cyborg ran into his surprisingly warm embrace. He found that it helped calm down his body immensely. N. Gin lifted his head up to face Cortex, who held the back of the ginger's head with his left arm. As for his right, it retracted from Gin's body altogether.

"Goodnight, N. Gin," Cortex grinned.

"G- OOMF!"

Cortex had snagged a cloth smothered in chloroform from his pajama pockets, thanks to a convenient kit on his desk, and clamped it up against Gin's face. Neo pressed it harder against him and watched as the smaller scientist struggled until, eventually, his body went limp.

For the record, he was unconscious, not dead.

"Oh, thank fuck," Cortex sighed. "I'm not ready to hear so much as a note from a Billie Eilish song. Eugh!" He, at least, had the courtesy of bringing N. Gin to his bed, carefully tucking him in so that he wouldn't wake up so soon.

Neo groaned. "We're going to need a lot more melatonin. Mental note to self: pester the minions tomorrow until someone gets me more of that medication- the economy sized one, that is."