Affections and Attention

Chapter 8

Warning: this chapter might be shorter than the others but it resolves the cliffhanger from last chapter!

Affections and Attention

Chapter 8

Kyoya didn’t know how long he waited in that little room. He couldn’t stay seated after a while, finding himself pacing the center of the room. The other occupants of the room didn’t seem to mind, finding his pacing a somewhat numbing distraction from the news they were all waiting for…and dreading. Every person in the room seemed to age a few years, stress and worry lining their faces. No one spoke a word.

Fuyumi and Akito were seated on either side of their father, grim expressions matching each other. Next to them was each member of the host club, holding each other’s hands and trying desperately not to cry.  They just wanted their dear friend to be okay and no one wanted that more than Kyoya.

What seemed like an eternity later, the operating doctor entered the room. He was obviously tired from the extensive surgery but he had to tell the Ootori family the news. He glanced around the room, gaze settling on Kyoya who had finally stopped pacing, just waiting for an answer because he almost didn’t want to ask aloud. He just wanted to know.

Most of the host club stood up, gripping each other’s hands tighter as they waiting for the doctor to speak. The rest leaned forward in their seats, not wanting to be caught standing up in case the news came as a blow.

***

Hisoka hadn’t been paying attention to anything outside the limo, only brooding and staying angry and Kyoya. True, he kind of did deserve some punishment for the way he treated her but she couldn’t deny the fact that he did seem to be coming around. It was like a dream come true, if only she could just believe in it. It seemed like it was too good to be true and she didn’t want a baby to fix a marriage. She wanted the two of them to work it out.

She didn’t even register when a truck slammed into the door, much less the few more after that. All she remembered was being in so much pain and not being able to move. She remembered crying out for help but her voice just sounded so small…she tried and tried, trying to move and feel her stomach but she couldn’t. It was then darkness took over again, leaving her in a world of shadows that haunted her as she struggled to wake up, to make sure her baby was okay.

She didn’t know how long she was asleep, or what exactly had happened.  She needed to know though; she needed answers because even in her unconscious, not knowing was the most frustrating.

It had been hours after the surgery, when she finally managed to open her eyes. Her whole body ached and her head felt fuzzy. She felt like an enormous weight was holding her down and she had no strength to fight it. The room was dimmed, thankfully, because it was just bright enough for her eyes. She blinked a few times, finding that there were other people in this room and there was a growing pressure on her hand.

“Hisoka?”

She managed a small groan in response, the only thing she could utter at the moment. She blinked a few more times, her vision clearing. Voices echoed her name in her ears before someone shushed them all. She barely moved her head to the side, looking down to see the pressure on her hand that was starting to hurt.

Kyoya was sitting there, dark eyes staring intently at her. His face was intensely pale, making his eyes more dramatic than what they usually were. They seemed watery almost but she couldn’t tell, she was having a hard time registering everything and clearing her head.

“Kyoya?” She barely whispered, not liking the look on his face. If anything, it brought back the fear to the surface, bubbling and giving her strength to move some more.

She let out a whimper as she tore away from his gaze, looking down at herself and finding most of her limbs in bandages and wraps. None of that scared her though, what did was the fact she could look down and see her feet.

Her baby bump was gone.

She let out a whimper, looking back at Kyoya for any sort of hope that their baby was alive. She could almost feel her heart cracking as she looked, straining for any sort of good news. Out of all of this there had to be some. Couldn’t there?

The answer was not what she was expecting. A simple tear rolled down Kyoya’s cheek and that was the only answer she needed. She opened her mouth and closed it, unable to make a sound for a moment.

She didn’t hear the machines start beeping, or the noise level increase around her. All she could see was Kyoya’s tear stained face, and feel the weight of the news sink within her. She felt as if she was drowning and she wanted to sink so far she wouldn’t have to remember anything. 

Her little light was gone, snuffed out. And it was all her fault. If only she hadn’t gotten so made at Kyoya and walked out…they would have been fine. They would still have their baby and god the possibilities of improving their marriage.

Now it was all up in smoke to her.

And she just wanted to die.

The images she had of their dark haired son growing up, playing with his future siblings and making his father proud…the smiles and the childlike innocence… the bedtime stories and the sick days…good or bad she had wanted them so badly and they were fading into nothing because that’s all her dreams were anymore.

Nothing.

And she fell back into the darkness, staying there for a long time because she didn’t want to wake up. She just wanted to stay there forever, clinging to lost hopes. She never wanted to go back to the harsh world of reality, where she would have to bury her unborn child and try to recover. To face a husband who could turn her away, to face being completely alone…she was losing her will to live.

But Kyoya was not going to lose his wife on top of their child. He didn’t know how, but he was going to be the best for her and hope to whatever higher power that she would recover. He couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t make it up to her, to prove himself.

He was going to make this right.