❝ My first impression of
Dream? He was a dick. ❞
In which a streamer doesn't get along with the most famous Minecraft player, but gets along well with his best friends who try to make them like each other.
CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE. ✧ ೃ༄ ❝ RED LIGHT, GREEN LIGHT. ❞
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Much like Angelica, Dream was crying.
Now, Dream isn't one to cry, but... As he saw the person he lost because of his feelings, he simply felt the guilt and felt disappointed in himself. It was his fault. It was his fault she left. His fault. Just his.
Dream believed love wasn't a real thing. He didn't. How could he when the person he trusted the most, loved the most, and cherished the most was the one who betrayed him at the end? How could he when his person caused him pain mentally and physically? How? How could he?
Dream had to admit, he was always in pain. He was cheated on multiple times but was told he was the only one. How could he be the only one in his person's life when they were sleeping with others behind his back?
He stayed with her because he knew she was battling with herself. He knew she needed him during her darkest days. But, he also needed her in his own darkest days, though, she never was there.
"I'm sorry," Dream looked down at the floor as he wiped his tears with the back of his hand, sniffing. His mom shook her head. "I'm sorry for everything."
"What are you sorry about?"
"I feel like it's my fault Angelica left," Dream admitted. "And it is. I kissed her even when I knew she liked me. I told her I didn't like her, Mom, and I go and kiss her. Then, I push her away until she leaves. I told her I would never love her and that the kiss was a mistake. I-I just... I'm scared."
"About what?"
"That..." Dream looked at the ceiling, leaning back on the couch, "that as soon as I tell her I love her, she's going to realize that it was a mistake to be with me. That's what she did to me."
"Clay..."
"When she hurt me," Dream felt his gaze blur with fresh tears, lips parted a bit as he continuously bit on the lower one, remembering the past, "I continued to love her. I loved her so much. So, so much. But... Was I not enough for her?"
Dream's mom couldn't help but feel pain at watching her closed-off son break down in front of her.
Dream looked away from his mom and looked at the ceiling again, heart furiously beating against his chest.
"I haven't stopped looking at this picture," he took out his phone, showing his mom the picture he took of Angelica with her sleeping siblings' head on her shoulders, "and this one," he showed more pictures from when they sat outside. "It hurts to know that... She's doing okay, but I'm also proud of her. She's doing the thing she loves the most."
"You like writing," his mom noted, "have you been writing?"
"I have," Dream nodded, taking his phone and opening the notes app. He passed his mom the phone, letting her read the things he's written for the girl he let slip away from his fingers.
How do I tell her She's the one behind my cries? It's stupid of me to think, Stupid of me to believe, That I was ever her forever after When she would leave me behind For a man that showed her love more than I ever could.
Dream's mom noted it wasn't for Angelica. She saw the date. It was for her. For the one who hurt him and left him behind to mend his own broken heart. The poem continued and Dream could only laugh at himself. How stupid of him to create these type of things.
Why would you ever hurt me? Was I really that bad and useless that you thought he would show you everything I never got to? I let you go so you can be free, But I'm left behind, wondering, thinking, about what I could've done better to keep you here with me.
"God," Dream laughed under his breath, continuing to wipe his tears as he read what his mom was reading. "Mom, don't read those. Those were like poems, go to the next one."
His mom did so.
I'm sorry for ever doubting your love. There's no "see you" is there? Nothing in between?
I'm sorry for ever running, I wish I could stop but there's A sudden fear in me that is Screaming at me to go.
I'm trying to stop for you But the light is still green. Be my red.
"I want her to be my red," Dream deeply inhaled, gulping. This time, he didn't wipe his tears. "I'm tired of running, I'm tired of being afraid, but... I also feel like I'm betraying her. I feel like I shouldn't fall in love when she's suffering."
"Clay," his mom ran a hand over his hair reassuringly, wiping his tears with the pads of his thumbs, "it's fine. If you want to move on, do it. Don't let her stop you from doing so. Have you tried talking to her?"
Dream shook his head, sniffing. "No. She texted me but... I couldn't. I couldn't answer back. Everything, every memory with her came rushing in, I-I couldn't. If she claimed she loved me then why did she hurt me? That's what I wanted to say, you know? Why did she hurt me so much if she claimed I was the only one for her?"
Dream could only continue to stare at the ceiling. He reminisced on every memory with her. He thought about every bruise littered on his skin, the pain he would feel when he would sit under the stars with her nowhere in sight, the read messages, the tears, everything.
He's tired. He's very tired. He's tired of being afraid and being unhappy just because she's in his head. He's tired of having to run away from the person who treated him with the utmost respect and who checked up on him. He's tired. He's tired of the light being green, indicating him to continue running. He's very tired.
So...
He decided to be his red.
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Let's talk. 9:22 PM
I'm free Friday? 9:22 PM
Good. We'll meet at the park we used to go to. 9:22 PM
