Ultraviolence -Damiano David

18

"Hey. . . i didn't know that you had guests. "

He says while I'm trying to look at someone else. The last thing I want is for this to end up like last time. I have no more stamina for any drama.

"It's fine. Come in if you want, as long as you don't do what you did last time. "

His eyes search mine as if he is taking permission from me but I ignore him.
It was one of the reasons I left then, I didn't want to break up their friendship.

They were all wonderful and it turned out that I was the wrong person.

"No it's okay. I just wanted to talk about the live that we have tomorrow but it's not something important "

In my heart I'm glad he's not sitting with us. Don't get me wrong, I like him, I don't hold any grudges, I'm just embarrassed.
I already have many problems to solve.

The door closes and Victoria sits as before, lighting a cigarette.

"Are you okay?"
He asks me and I shake my head in the affirmative.

"Yes. . . i mean. . . yes. "

They both look me up and down suspiciously and I  swallow heavy.

"Okay. . . promise me that you won't say anything. "

I end up saying and they agree.

"One of the reasons that i left. . . was because Ethan told me he had feelings about me. "

They look at me with nothing to say and I'm more worried.
It's as if they saw a ghost in front of them,
no one knows what to say.

"You never told me. "
Victoria complains and now it's my turn to have nothing to say.

"I'm so sorry, i hope he will not disturb tomorrow at the concert. "

[. . . ]

"They are amazing. How can be so talented?"

Bella yells for me to hear her while we sing and dance in the front seat.
They're so good. And he's so impressive.
Every time I see him, every minute I observe him, the feeling I have for him grows.

When I think that a few days ago I was close to him and now we don't even talk, it hurts me.
I have no idea what to do.
I have no idea what I want to do.

So you can follow me
Untill they catch me and kill me out
It's my recovery
And we will forget of the clouds
Cause there's no hitch
No baby there's no fence
No baby there's no setback that will stop me
So you can follow me
Untill they catch me they catch me and kill me out

Throughout the whole lyrics he's looking at me and I can't do anything but watch him.

Cause baby you're the ache
That comes right into my vein
You're like a super christal drug
That takes away all my pain
You're a soldier but you'll never wear you armor again
Now you found freedom but now
Tell me who knows your name
Because I know how does it feels
To feel like you're reflected
From the mirror of the shame
And you feel like you're the last man
And you feel like you're suspected of a murder that you've never done
Now you found freedom

Sometimes I wish I had never run into him again and other times I wish I had never left.

My eyes go pale when a few feet away I see Giorgia. I thought they had broken up.

I try to hold back my tears but it's impossible. Her eyes fall on me as I think about how they might still be together.

But I had to expect it, she would never feel about me what she feels about her.

With quick steps I pass by the people pushing many passers-by with me bursting into tears.

I've been lying to John for so long about him and all he does is play games with me.
I lean back in my car sighing tightly.

I think about leaving but I don't see Bella anywhere.
I'm trying to call her but my phone is out of battery.

"Do you need mine?"
Ethan's voice comes from behind me and I am startled.

"You weren't on the stage?"
I ask him, wondering how in a few minutes he appeared in front of me.

"We're taking a little break. If you want to call Bella, call her from mine. "

He shows me his cell phone as he brings it towards me and I hesitantly take it.

"Why are you doing this? You're not even supposed to want to see me. "

I explain and he laughs.
He lights a cigarette while I wait for a reply that is slow in coming.

"Because. . . i don't know. "

I knit my eyebrows not expecting such a response.
"Is that all you have to say?"

"Because i want you Stella! Because i fucking like you and you still in love with him. "
His answer makes things even more difficult

His answer makes things even more difficult.
I feel lost and powerless to fix what I've broken.

"What?"

Abruptly I turn to look at the one whose heart is beating hard.
I am at a loss for words and my body is shaking.

"Damiano? It's not-. . . "
I try to explain to him but he won't let me.

"What the fuck Ethan?"