What I Should Have Done ✓

Chapter 10

John hadn't texted me back all day which annoyed me. Nobody was entitled to texts from anybody, but I wasn't asking too much. This was clearly connected to his girlfriend.

"It's easier to feel anger than guilt," Jessica had commented, fascinated by her fingernails, when I had mentioned my irritation to her over dinner.

"I don't feel guilty," I had insisted. Her fake-innocent 'mhm-hm' had ticked me off.

Now, almost three hours later, I was still frustrated. With John and with Jessica. Though she would have found a way to suggest I was frustrated with myself. Around 10 pm, I texted Liam to tell him that I'd come to the party after all.

Pushing open my closet door, I rummaged for only a second before throwing on a burgundy lace camisole to match the pair of skinny jeans I was already wearing.

Voter Hall was a minute away from Starr and once I arrived, immediately found the party suite. The windows were lit up in red and blue and the music was blasting through the cracked windows. When I got up to the third floor, a drunk, laughing couple stumbled out of the apartment and left the door open.

The stale scent of beer in the air intensified when I shut the door behind me. The small common area was packed, with people making out in pairs right near the door, making it hard to squeeze past their warm bodies. Not my ideal Friday night, but I also had nothing better to do. A couple of steps into the room, Liam's voice announced his location.

"Grace, you made it!" He stepped forward from a corner and engulfed me in a hug. His breath reflected the beer he'd been drinking, though it couldn't have been more than one. Liam wasn't a big drinker.

"Hey." Not knowing what to do with myself after we broke apart, I scratched my elbow awkwardly, trying to convince myself that going out was exactly what I needed tonight.

"Come on in, it's not great by the door with all these couples hooking up."

You can say that again. In the corner he'd occupied before, I forced smiles and nodded to a few people I knew from class or who were friends' friends. In the meantime, Liam had gotten me a cup of beer which I gratefully accepted. There was a reason why people got shitfaced at suite parties: you couldn't stand them otherwise—both the parties and the people. The soccer pregames were a notable exception.

Pounding pop and reggaeton music blared through the speakers. I barely knew any of the songs, and they weren't my genre. Not that I was expecting them to play folk at a college drinking event, but a little variation on the club tunes might have pleased the musically inclined guests.

I must have looked as underwhelmed as I felt, because Liam shouted over the music: "I told you it'd be lame. That's why I wanted you to come."

"Is it less lame now?" I shouted back, arching my eyebrows.

"No," he admitted and we both laughed. His teeth were a pearly white which shone beautifully against his tan skin.

Right then I spotted John across the room with some of the other soccer guys, effortlessly cool as always, even if he was only wearing a dark gray v-neck t-shirt and jeans. Some of them were dancing ridiculously and drinking out of red solo cups like everybody else, but they still managed to seem better, more popular, more powerful than everybody else. Athletes.

As if he'd sensed my gaze on him, John turned his head and met my eyes, then gave me a small wave and an irresistible smile. Without reciprocating the gesture, I turned away. I didn't care if it was childish, I would not let him weasel his way into my mind tonight.

"Do you want to ditch this so-called party and get some fresh air?" Liam's voice close to my ear reminded me that he was still here. The goosebumps on my arms told me my body was very aware of his proximity.