Short Stories

What I Want is What I Can't Say

Okay, first let's get this straight... when you're in a relationship, you don't HAVE to do all those cheesy, mushy stuff right? So why... why am I being pushed in that direction? I mean I'm happy by just being with my boyfriend and that's it. I don't need gifts, or hold hands, kiss or whatever there is. But I guess my friends don't get that.

It's been a few months since I've started dating and let's just say, I'm happy. We would talk every other night and every day whether we have school or not. I haven't gotten to the point where I would talk about my inner thoughts but I don't blame him for that, I'd say I'm complicated myself. Plus, it's not like it's going to benefit anyone if I open my mouth.

One thing I have to say is that, the constant pushing that my friends are trying to get me closer to my boyfriend is getting pretty out of hand. Texting to him is one thing, but literally going up to him and starts saying stuff, that is false, about what I want to him is another thing. Two different things... can have two whole different effects.

"So have you guys kissed yet?" One of my friends would ask. Let me just point this out... We haven't even held hand, what makes you think I would be kissing him already?

I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit jealous when I see couples holding hands or hugging, but that's because they've been dating for so long. I've only dated for a few months... A FEW MONTHS!! Also, if I ever said I would like to hug or hold hands, I'm sure my boyfriend would be weirded out. See, I'm not the type of girl who would like hugs or holding someone's hand. Those things are... weird.

Plain and simple. There's really no other way to describe them.

"Did he do anything today?" My friends would ask at the end of each day. No... of course not.

Why would he in the first place?

I always ask them what they had said to him but they would push the question away and change the subject after that.

Today was Friday, the day where everyone is excited because for one... it's the day right before the weekend. And, it's the last day before we have a month of no school!

"Hey Faith! Wait up!" my girls would ran up towards me.

"Guess what?!" They screech.

Ugh, my ears. I tilted my head, having no clue whatsoever what's going to happen. "I heard that he's finally going to do something today!"

"Really?" I said raising my eyebrows and smirked. But really, on the inside, I wanted to face palm myself and hit some sense into the girls' head. I love these girls but times like this, I really wanted to yell at them. "Ok I'll look out for that. Tell y'all about it later. Bye!" I walked to my last period. I sat down next to him and took out my supplies. He didn't say hey or anything to me. Something's off and it's not just the two boys who are rolling on the floor...

Our teacher started her lesson about natural selection and selective breeding and everyone took notes... except him, of course. He copies my notes afterwards. His excuse? Taking notes and listening to the teacher at the same time, slows his brain down. Lame, right? Anyways, he was raising my hand up by the finger then dropping it like dead meat over and over again. Good thing the landing of my hand didn't make much sound, or we would've been in trouble by now. I threw him a questioning look and he shrugs in response. I turned my attention back to taking notes as he continues to drop my hand again. Class was done within a few minutes and everyone was bolting out the doors. I packed up my stuff and we started walking home.

Before I turned, heading for my neighborhood, he asks me a question, "Wanna go to the library?" I threw another questioning look but agrees when he said he needed to copy the notes. We walked to the nearest library, which is not that far, and started copying. Usually it would only take 10 to 15 minutes to copy but this time, it took almost an hour! Something's wrong, this time I was sure. I asked him and I guess it caught him off guard because he started stuttering. "N-Nothing," he would reply. I didn't question it until we finally reached my neighborhood once again.

He suddenly grabs my hand and walked side by side with me. I froze on spot. What was he doing? This never happened before. He turns his head and asks if it was bothering me. I came to my senses and shook my head. I held his hand a bit tighter than he did to imply that it was fine.

Honestly, I don't think I could've stop the smile that was slowly forming on my face. We walked slowly to my house, taking small steps (this time he didn't make fun of my small, tiny steps), while talking about our plans for the upcoming free month. When I reached my house, I released his hand to open the door but was interrupted when he pulled me back into a back hug. Oh gosh... what is he doing now? Was all I could think of at that point. He hugged me even tighter, whispering how he wanted to do this for quite a while now. And then also, honestly a really unnecessary, apology for keeping me waiting so long. I played along and said I've wait damn long enough and we laughed... he lets me go and said bye before walking to home. I enter my house, quickly pulling out my phone texting my girls, "Thx... ;)"

As I waited for a reply, a message from another person came up and I open it...