Chapter 40: Agony

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"He wants to see you," Eun Sook informed Sook Myeong an hour later.

No," the princess stubbornly refused. "I will not go near him again. I hurt him. I will do him no further damage."

Eun Sook sighed. "It wasn't your fault. If the man wasn't such an incessant flirt, he wouldn't have reopened the wound."

"It was my fault!" The princess's eyes flashed agony at her sister-in-law. "If I had simply done what he asked, he wouldn't have tugged on my wrist, and I wouldn't have lost my balance. And then I wouldn't have hit him on the shoulder," she mumbled petulantly.

"He is fine. His wound will heal again. The surgeon said so. He told him just to take a couple more days in bed to rest it."

"A couple more days?" she asked in despair.

She was agonized. It seemed to her that only evil had befallen Jong Su since he'd come to Silla. He'd been nearly killed protecting her brother. And now she had further damaged his wound, aggravating it to the point of bleeding.

She had always suspected that he was too good for her. She was still certain of this truth. If he continued to linger near her, would some other evil befall him? Would he perhaps step between her and an arrow someday?

"I'm going to my room. I have no wish to be disturbed," she notified her sister-in-law before sailing out into the corridor.

But she didn't go to her room. She headed for the garden. Where he had first wooed her heart.

She went there to weep. And to extricate the beautiful man from her heart.

Hours later, Jin Heung found her still seated on her bench.

"Sook Myeong, the prince wishes to see you."

"No," she refused him.

"No?" A violent quirk of his eyebrow accompanied that question. "What do you mean? Your fiancé is requesting your presence."

"He's not my fiancé," she mumbled. "Not anymore."

He frowned. "Does he know that?"

She sighed. Of course, he didn't. "Not yet."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Eventually," she muttered.

When the man was a hundred miles away from her. So she wouldn't be tempted to melt into his arms again.

The king furrowed his brow. Just what was going on here?

"Sook Myeong, what are you doing? What are you thinking, you foolish girl? There is more at stake here than just your feelings. The peace of two kingdoms rests on our shoulders. All of our shoulders. You can't afford to rock back and forth between two mindsets. You must resolve to treat the prince justly."

"I have!" she ejaculated as she jumped up. "The man does not deserve me!"

"I agree that you are worth much, my dear. But I think that the prince is a fine specimen indeed. Truly worthy of you." His eyebrows rose to dance with a bird passing overhead. "Very few men have risked their lives for me."

"I know that he is the very best of men!" she cried out. "I meant that I am not worthy of him!"

She turned to flee, but her brother was too quick for her. He stepped between her and the path back to the palace.

"What on earth makes you think such a thing?" he asked, troubled.

She stared despairingly up at him. "You know me better than anyone," she hissed. "You know that I attempted to kill the woman you loved."

As he frowned and prepared to open his mouth, she continued, "And because of me, the prince lingered here. He entered that forest with us and was nearly killed by that evil man's arrow. I didn't hesitate to shoot the man down."

"As he justly deserved," he quickly pointed out.

"I know. But...that doesn't mean it's easy for me to live with his death," she mumbled, troubled still. "And now I've injured the prince. Reopened a wound that might still be fatal if it doesn't heal properly. I cannot endanger the man further."

"Sook Myeong," he uttered, exasperated. "You are thinking like a child."

She gazed up at him then, hurt blazing in her eyes.

And he realized that she still was a child. In many, many ways.

"I cannot face him again. Not today," she breathed.

Then she darted around the king and fled for her chambers. From which she did not emerge. For several days.

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