Chapter 8. Grief

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        I don't know if it was a glass that broke or my heart? As soon as Amber told us her news Andrew let's go of my hand. Who knew that a simple action could actually break you. "Are you sure?" Andrew asked, he just couldn't believe that she was pregnant. Amber smiled as she spoke "Yes, I was just telling Ryan the news." I've finally lost it. Tears started filling my eyes as I let out a harsh laugh. "Wow! What a show that life has put up for me." I said as everyone was now looking at me. Even Ginger was staring at me along with Michael and even Amber herself along with her brotherly lover. 

"Well guess what Amber... I'm pregnant--" but before I could even announce that it was her husband's baby Michael butted in and said "With my baby." Ginger gasped out happily as she squealed and clapped her hands. "Ooh! I can't wait to tell Jacob that my dear Andrew is giving us a grandchild and Jennifer is finally having her own baby." if only she knew. Andrew looked at us opening and closing his mouth, debating whether to tell everyone or not. "What!? You got her pregnant!?" Ryan yelled as if getting me pregnant was the worse thing a person can commit. Michael rolled his eyes as he said "Sorry but we ran out of condoms." Ginger did not need to hear that. 

Everything went awkward from that moment. That's until we had an opportunity that me, Michael, and Andrew were alone together. "What in the hell was that!?" I asked Michael as I furiously pointed at his chest. "Protecting you of course!" he hissed. "Seriously!? That was the best you can come up with?!" Andrew shouted at Michael only for Michael to shout back "Oh yeah? How about you tough guy? You said you would be there for Jennifer yet right as my sister told us that she was pregnant you dropped Jen like she was nothing but an extra plate." Ouch! 

"Amber is my wife!" Andrew stated firmly but Michael backed me up "And Jen is your best friend! Who happens to be pregnant with your baby!" everything was silent for a while until Michael spoke up "If Jen was single I woudl've dated her and treat her right. Jen is a really special girl and here I thought that you could see that but clearly you are as blind as blindfolded monkey." "If you weren't being such a jerk--" "Enough! If you're not gonna be here for the baby then I might as well claim it as my own. Who knows I might be good at parenting." Michael scolded Andrew. 

If only I could just tell Andrew that Ryan and Amber has a very intimate relationship together that consist of sibling love then I know that Andrew would come to me but something was stopping me, home wrecker. I do not want my reputation being that I ruined Andrew's first marriage by getting pregnant with his baby. I still have this vague hope that one day Andrew would realize that I am the one for him. Sadly, his wife was pregnant but was it Andrew's? I don't even want to imagine Ryan and her. 

"Guys please stop fighting because you guys easily make me sick." don't get me started on Amber, "Andrew... you are married. You can't do shit about me as much as I want you to-- you simply can't. Michael I thank you for the offer and even if I want to decline you already told everyone that it is yours so if you want then you can help me but we are definitely not getting married." but Andrew started arguing with me, "But Jen--" I just had to cut him off. He needed to know my feelings and everything except for Amber and her brother love. "Andrew... I have loved you all these years and if I could go back in time I would have never left you after college. I still love you and perhaps forever will if that's even possible but you're married and marriage is so sacred that I don't want to be a home wrecker. I don't want to be known as the girl that Andrew left Amber for or the girl that Andrew knocked up before he got married. I don't want to be treated like an option, I want to be decided on. I wanted you to choose me." 

Tears were strolling down my face uncontrollably. 

"Then I choose you Jen. I want to be with you." Andrew said this just now. just NOW. I turn my head to not look at him for a second then looked back at him and said "It's too late for that Andrew. A few days too late. You could've married me but you marrying Amber was your mistake not mine. I didn't told you to move on. You did that yourself." Harsh words poured from my mouth but at this point I didn't care. Andrew was also tearing up and he looked horrible. Not horrible ugly but he looked miserable beyond belief. "Please Jen, just tell me what to do." Andrew said 

"Move on and leave me alone." the words I thought I would never say but I was too tired of getting hurt. Staying near Andrew was unhealthy for me and the baby. I wrapped my arms around me and told Michael, "Please get me out of here." Michael then did as he was told and we excused ourselves from the small vacation telling everyone that Michael had an emergency back home that needed attending to and he wanted to bring me everywhere he went. Of course we went to Michael's flat and stayed there. He let me sleep in his bed but surprisingly I made him stay with me in bed. I didn't have any romantic feelings towards Michael I just needed a friendly hug, and a shoulder to cry on. Michael is the only person I trusted at the moment along with my best friend Natalie but she wasn't here at the moment. 

Michael held me all night long whispering comforting words in my ear. Telling me how everything was gonna be ok. but how can it be? How can I be happy again? 

Even when my own happiness has left me.

My only happiness before was Andrew but now it was in my belly.

My mini Andrew. 

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