Forever and Always

Twenty

I walked up to Connor as he got ready in his bedroom. It's been a few days since Hazel's birthday but sadly the day has come where he has to leave.

I wrapped my arms around him from behind as he was putting his belt on. He sighed and placed his hands on mine.

"You know, you're not making it easy to leave." he told me quietly.

"Then don't." I mumbled into his back. He turned around and put his arms around my waist.

"I have to. But I'll be back before you know it." he put his hand on my cheek. 

"I know, I just-- I can't help but think about what could happen while you're gone." I said as I ran a hand through my hair.

"Nothing is gonna happen to me." he kissed my forehead.

It was then that I remembered something. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small black box. Connor furrowed his brows as I held it out to him. He opened it and his gaze softened when he saw the engagement ring he had given me last time when he proposed.

"You kept it?" he asked.

"What was I supposed to do?" I shrugged. "I always thought when you came back I would give it back to you but I forgot and we ended up getting back together. So I'm giving it back now."

Connor looked like he was fighting with his own thoughts.

"What if I don't want it back?" 

I looked into those Georgia blue eyes and furrowed my brows. "What are you talking about? There's no reason for me to keep it."

"What if I want you to?" he asked.

"Connor."

"I'm serious Savannah." he took the ring out of the box and held it in his hand. He stepped closer to me and took my hand into his. "I love you more than anybody else in this world. You've been it for me since freshman year of high school and I can't imagine myself being with anybody else. I know that I've messed up and made mistakes but asking you to marry me was probably the best thing I ever did. If I hadn't left for the military then we'd probably be married by now. And I want that. For us to be together for the rest of our lives. To raise Hazel together and have more kids someday. Because I love you." 

I didn't even realize that I was crying until he wiped one of my tears away.

"So Savannah Pierce, will you marry me?" he asked. "Again." he added making me chuckle.

I looked into his eyes before nodding. "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you again."

He laughed softly before slipping the ring onto my finger. I leaned up on my tippy toes and connected our lips. He wrapped his arms around my waist as our lips moved in sync. 

"I love you so much." he whispered as we pulled away.

"I love you too."

"Mama!" I heard Hazel shout from her room. I let out an annoyed huff making Connor laugh.

"God. Demanding little bitch." I said sarcastically. "She's definitely my daughter." Connor laughed and grabbed his bag before following me out of the room.

We walked into Hazel's room at Connor's house and she started jumping up and down in her crib with her pacifier in her mouth.

"Goodmorning baby." I lifted her out of her crib and set her on my hip. Connor kissed her head making her smiled then we all walked out of the room and downstairs.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed Hazel's sippy cup before walking back towards the front door where the love of my life was putting on his boots and preparing to leave.

I suddenly got this familiar wave of Deja vu from the last time this happened.

Flashback

"Connor!" I exclaimed as he walked towards the front door completely dressed in his military attire. "You can't be serious."

"I am, Sav." he spoke and turned to face me. "And I'm really sorry."

"B-But what about our wedding?" I asked with tears spilling down my cheeks. "Y-You're j-just gonna leave me?"

"Babe, I have to do this." 

"No you don't!" I shouted before cupping his cheeks. "Please Connor, think about this. D-Did last night mean nothing to you or was that just another stupid excuse for a goodbye." he squeezed his eyes shut and leaned his forehead down onto mine.

"I love you Savannah." he whispered. "But this is just something I've always wanted."

"But what about us?" I asked. "Haven't you always wanted us to get married and start a family together? That's something you've always wanted so why are you giving that up."

"I can't explain it Savannah. I just know that I have to leave for the Military. But I'm coming back."

"Why couldn't you have just told me? Connor, I don't want you to leave." I told him.

"It's too late babe. I can't stay here much longer." he pulled away from me and turned around then started putting his boots on.

I just stared at him in disbelief as my voice got caught in my throat.

"Please stay with me." I pleaded one last time.

"I'm sorry." he stood up and pressed a kiss on my forehead before turning and heading for the door.

I can't believe this. I'm gonna lose the man I love more than anything, the only man I've ever loved.

"Connor Hart, if you walk out that door don't even think about walking back in." 

He stopped for a second when he was about to pull the door closed. He looked back at my sobbing self and sighed.

"I'll be back Savannah."

And just like that he was gone.

Flashback over

"Savannah." Connor spoke, breaking me out of my daydream. "You know I'm coming back right?"

"Yeah." I nodded and adjusted Hazel on my hip. "Doesn't mean I want you to go."

"Darling, I love you." he put a hand on my cheek. "And I'm gonna come back, hopefully within the next seven months, and we're gonna have that wedding you've always dreamed about. I'm coming back to you."

I looked up at him before leaning in and pressing my lips to his. 

"Promise me that you'll contact me whenever you can?" I asked. "Whether it be facetime, skype, hell it can even be a fucking letter in the mail, I just need to know that you're okay."

"I promise." he nodded.

I sighed and looked down at Hazel who was drinking her milk from her sippy cup.

"Listen little lady." Connor hunched over to be eye to eye with her. "You've gotta be good for your mama. She's the strongest woman I know and she's gonna keep you happy no matter what. Daddy loves you and he's gonna miss you so much."

"Dada." she held open her arms and pouted her bottom lip. 

Connor sighed and lifted her into his arms. She wrapped her tiny arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her. He closed his eyes and I saw a single tear fall down his cheek. 

He released his grip and handed her back to me. "I love you both so much." he said.

"We love you too." I told him. 

He leaned down and kissed me one more time before kissing Hazel on the head. He picked up his bag off of the floor and walked out to his truck.

I honestly felt like I was losing a big part of myself and it hurt more than anything to see him go. I can just hope and pray that he comes back to me soon.

I watch his car pull away and let out an uneven breath as I look down at Hazel.

"It's just you and me Hazel Bazel."

- - -

A/N
Four more chapters!