amantes sunt amentes || Ben Barnes

VII

CW; mention of vomiting near the end

-Nyx-
Okay, so everything was definitely NOT going according to plan.

After my little stunt yesterday, I walked on to set to look for my dear Bennie boy, little did I know where he was.

Ben was flirting with another girl, not just cute flirting and a little hair-touchy-feely kind of crap, but like hardcore flirting, if you know what I'm talking about; the girl leaning against the wall, Ben pressed up against her. He was whispering shit into her ear and she just twisted her hair, batted her eyelashes and let out a very crow-like giggle, it was a terrifying sight.

I felt like I'd been given a slap in the face, a hard one at that. I started feeling a little bit angry, strutting to my office, hoping he wouldn't notice.

So my plan completely backfired.

Two hours later I was just doing my job, fixing another broken machine, since someone accidentally kicked it, thrice. I didn't think that was an accident. As I was looking up from my work to grab some of the notes I left on the table right across my desk, I saw Ben kissing the girl. No, not kissing, full on snogging her.

Another slap in the face. This one a little harder than the other. There was one weird thing about the whole snogging-fiasco. He had his eyes open, but they weren't looking in her direction, they were looking directly at me.

What?
Is there someone behind me?

I quickly turned around to see no one behind me.

His eyes were just burning holes in the back of my head now. I quickly turned back and looked him right in the eye, giving him the coldest look I've given someone in years. I kept my head up high, my pride being too big to crash down in tears now, might as well get a good reputation out of it.

Him still snogging the girl, he furrowed his eyebrows even more and kept persistently staring at me like I was the one making him jealous, he just gave me a stone cold look, still into the kiss.

When they finally broke apart he ripped his gaze away from me and looked at her as if nothing just happened between us. He gave her a lopsided grin as he whispered something in her ear, getting that crow-like laugh to act up again. They walked away together, both with stupid grins plastered on their faces, me knowing exactly what they were up to.

Maybe I should just let my feelings for him go, after giving me that look, I doubted he'd still want me.

-

-Ben-
Right now all that was on my mind was Nyx, but I just had to get her out of my head. She just kept lingering in my head as I was still with the girl in front of me.

But her eating that peach, her lips looking better than ever.

I wanted her more than anything, but after that look, I was thinking that she'd never have me back.

The way her beautiful smile dropped as I was with the other girl.

Stop.

My mind was wandering again. All I could think about was her, and her little gestures, the way she always waved and smiled, how she walked, talked, the way she acted and dressed.

She was just beautiful.

I just had to get over myself. I wasn't going to be with her, and after she gave me that look, we certainly won't be friends anytime soon, or ever again.

Right now I had to focus on what I had sitting right in front of me. The girl from earlier.

-

-Nyx-
As soon Ben and his girl were out of the room, I ran as fast as I could out of the building. I needed some fresh air to breathe, since the air was getting too thick in the room that I call my office.

It was clear Ben didn't want anything to do with me anymore.

Another slap in the face.

I crumbled to the ground in tears, finally letting go what I'd been holding in just minutes ago, the scenario playing over and over and over again in my head.

Him flirting with her.

Him seeing me.

Him kissing her.

Him looking at me.

Him looking at her.

Him leaving with her.

It all hurt a little bit too much for me to handle right now. I really thought I'd have him as my significant other. It wasn't just getting rejected by a 'crush' today, it was losing a dear friend, with whom I'd grown close with over the past two and a half months.

Sitting there on the tiled ground, tears still spilling down my cheeks, I pulled my knees up to my face and buried my head in them. The best thing to do right now was just to let it all out.

So I sat there for a while, I had no idea how long I was sitting there, if I was blocking somebody's path, or if I was disturbing anyone. Honestly at this moment I didn't even care anymore.
Everything was sore, and as I stood up after the long time of being sad, I felt emotionally and physically completely drained. I started making my way back to my office, but before I reached my desk, I felt a little weird twist in my stomach. I ran to the bathroom as fast as I could and let it all out -literally this time-.

After vomiting for God knows how long (something that felt like forever, though), I finally gathered the strength to get myself together, man up, and walk out of that bathroom with my head up high, like nothing had happened just moments before that. Keeping my head up high once again, pulling my hand through my hair, attempting (and failing) to fix it a little bit. I pulled myself together and took a deep breath before finally actually walking down to my office.

I thought my plan might've been a bit stupid, but I never expected it to work out like this, like a huge slap in the face.

I'd failed.

-1035 words-
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To my dear 205 readers;
W O A H! I've got the storyboard all done, and I think this story is going to be totally epic! Whooooop!

I'm insanely excited for the rest of the book! I hope this chapter was any good, and if it was, just leave a comment, vote or do anything really :]

Remember that you're loved... by me (and many others)!

Oh, and in case I don't see you; good afternoon, good evening and good night! <3