swim || remus lupin

james

James Potter prided himself on three things: his quidditch skills, his friendships, and the fact that he had only cried three times in his life.

The first time James cried, he was seven. His father had just brought him a new broom, a Firebolt. James had begged for his own broom since he could talk, since his father first let him ride around in his lap. Him and Peter rode sticks in the yard, throwing around old quaffles and playing makeshift quidditch. And so, for his seventh birthday, Fleamont bought James a Firebolt.

Of course, being that he was just a kid, James was overly excited and not at all responsible. He had never ridden a broom by himself before, and he instantly crashed into a tree, broke his collarbone, and shattered the broom. And James cried. Not because he was hurt, not because he no longer had a broom, but because of the look of fear on his mother's face as she patched him up.

The first time James cried he promised to never scare his mother like that again. And he kept it.

The second time James cried, he was fourteen. Sirius had returned to the castle covered in bruises, looking like he weighed ten pounds, his hair falling out, his smile gone. Sirius had hid in the bathroom for the entire first night until he finally let James in around two in the morning. James took one look at his best friend, his dark eyes red and puffy, and James cried too.

The second time James cried he promised to get Sirius out of that house. And he kept it.

The third time James cried, he was sixteen. He and the Marauders had just spent a night out with Remus during a full moon. Only, the wolf had scratched James down the chest, leaving a pretty nasty gash.

The following morning, Remus was mortified at what he had done. He refused to hear James, who promised the scar would be rather sexy and probably be what finally convinced Lily he was badass enough to date. Remus asked the three of them to leave.

That night, while alone in his bed, James cried. And he never told anyone.

The third time James cried, he promised to make Remus forgive himself. And he kept it.

But now, James supposed, he would have to add another tally to his list. Because as he sat by the bedside of Squid, the brown haired girl, with humor that perfectly matched his own, with witty comebacks that left him speechless, with the biggest smile he had ever seen, as he sat here beside her, with Lily's hand in his, James cried.

He cried because her brown hair was tangled and messy. He cried because he wasn't sure they would ever say the same thing at the same time again. He cried because no one had ever left him so speechless. He cried because her big smile was pushed into a frown, and that was wrong.

He cried because she was his sister, and he should have protected her.

The fourth time James cried he promised that he would never let any of his friends, his family, hurt like this again.

And he prayed that Sydney would stay alive long enough for him to keep it.