Journey to Forever [One Direction Fan-Fiction]

Chapter 33

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYBODY!!! :D

Chapter 33 - Clover’s POV

At some point in your life, there’s always a time when you just feel so depress that you don’t even care about pretty much everything; what you’re doing, what you’re wearing, what people think about you etc. That your body feels extremely heavy that you can’t even go out of bed, the problems would swirl round and round in your head yet you can’t find the words to talk to anyone about it, and the only thing that can sum up the way you feel is through music. You’re alive but you feel dead on the inside.

That’s where I am right now; a rotting corpse.

‘Well, it’s good to hear your voice

I hope you’re doing fine

And if you ever wondered

I’m lonely hear tonight’

The song on my iTouch changes to ‘Stay’ by Miley Cyrus. This is pretty much my daily feature song ever since because it describes how I feel perfectly since I can’t even come up with an exact word to how I’m feeling. ‘Sad’ isn’t a strong enough word, ‘pain’ would be an inappropriate word considering all I feel is numbness, and ‘hurt’ is a lie considering no one is doing anything to cause it. I bestow it to myself and now I’m paying the price.

‘I’m lost here in this moment

And the time keeps slipping by

And if I could just have one wish

I’d have you by my side’

‘Oh, oh, I miss you.

Oh, oh, I need you.’

I don’t even know why Larissa even bothers lecturing me every morning. It’s not like I’m even listening to her. I just watch her lips moving at a fast pace, looking at me with a murderous look that got scarier day by day as I listen to my iTouch at full volume. Normally wouldn’t let it get this far but to be completely honest, I just don’t care anymore. Nothing matters.  At times, her hands flay around as she preaches, adding further to the crazy person look she have been working on these past few weeks. Yes, weeks. Three weeks to be exact since our last fight. But, nevertheless, time seems meaningless to me.

‘And I love you more than I did before

And if today I don’t see you face

Nothing’s changed; no one can take your place

It gets harder every day’

To think she’ll get tired of it by now. I swear, this girl have the tenacity of a donkey; always so stubborn. She’s just wasting her breath and she knows it but she does it anyway. Why you ask? Well I have feeling she’s doing it just to get under my skin, since I get under hers just by ignoring her presence in my life lately. I know it may seem cruel to treat the one you call your best friend that way but it’ll hurt her less compare to what I’ll say when I open my mouth. You know what they say: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.”

Say you love me more than you did before

And I’m sorry it’s this way

And I’m coming home, I’ll be coming home

And if you ask me, I will stay, I will stay

Ann, on the other hand, acts more or less like me. Though she at least wakes up every day like she normally did, dress nicely and then she will slump on her bed. Me? I don’t even bother to act strong or any of that bullshit. I just stay in bed until one of the two Kelly sisters force me to shower or eat. The only time I’ve ever voluntarily get up from my bed is to get the charger for my iTouch that’s just a few feet away and plop down on the bed. However, when Larissa turns her lecture to Ann, she takes out her own iTouch and drowns out her voice. I’m not sure how much longer Larissa could handle us being like this.