1972

12. Don't Worry Baby

Don't Worry Baby- The Beach Boys

"I'm sorry what did you just say?" Your eyes started blinking to ensure you weren't buggin' out.

"Move in with me, after Christmas, I mean."

"You're asking me to move in with you...in a month?"

"I'm moving into a house after this semester, gettin' my own place. I wanted a place with a kitchen and my own shower, this has been the plan for a while I don't know why I hadn't thought of inviting you sooner. I don't figure there's anything better than comin' home to you, sunshine." His eyes adverted yours as he fiddled with the pickles sitting there on the counter.

"Are you sure? You don't think this is fast?"

"I think it's fast, but baby I don't think you understand how sure I am."

"What if you can't stand me?"

"I love you, sunshine."

I love you too.

"We've never spent that much time together."

"I've stayed the weekend here how many times?"

"Yeah, but you had to walk home to shower, to use the bathroom."

"So you're worried about having to share a bathroom with me?"

"What if you leave hair in the sink when you shave, or you leave the foaming cream all over the counter?" Your argument had no legs but it felt like solid logic. Knowing you loved Flip was an easy realization but becoming reliant on him, letting him provide you with stability in your living environment were terms you were unsure you could accept. Sure, you could think of nothing better than coming home to him, to spend every morning waking up in his arms, but it wasn't that easy. Not to you anyways, which drove the small question in the back of your mind to the spotlight of your consciousness, no matter how much you hadn't wanted to think about it.

Did he love you more than you loved him? ...no.

Your head was spinning when you thought of all the caution he had chosen to throw to the wind, and it only made you feel guilty that you were clinging to it that much more.

"I promise to be tidy, baby." He smiled placing his hands on your hips pulling you into his chest. You felt another pang of guilt as he landed his lips on yours. You let your skin melt into his kiss because even with your reservations you had to agree with him this felt right. He pulled away way too soon, your head drooped staring at his chest.

"Philip?" Your voice was barely audible as you let the uneasiness swirl in your stomach.

"Yes?"

"Would you be angry if I asked to think about it?" Your hands crossed over the sides of his buttoned flannel as you built up enough courage to make eye contact by the end of your question.

"Not even a little, sunshine. I want you to be as comfortable as you need to be with me, with our relationship, with us possibly living together and I know you can't always control that. I will never be mad about how you feel." He pulled you closer forcing your arms around him as he cradled you in his.

This is why you felt safe around Flip.

...............................................................................................

There had been a crushing weight on your chest for the last three weeks, and it kept getting heavier. First, it was Flip constantly telling you that he loved you though you'd yet to say it back. Also, you'd been bootlegging birth control from a shady doctor in town and ever since you asked Rosemery where to find him you'd been avoiding her. You couldn't look her in the face again, not yet. Then there was the matter of living with him, he'd asked your help to find a couch even though he wasn't moving in for another two months, but you were convinced he could care less about the actual couch and really just wanted to get one he knew you would like. As if the couch was the selling point. Then there was thanksgiving break. He had mentioned more than once how much he hated going home to see his parents, it would always start with them drinking until their words slurred. His mom would start talking about how having a baby ruined her body and his dad would drone on about how Flip's birth deflated their savings account. It broke your heart for him, constantly listening to the horrible things his parents would say to him, knowing how they treated him. It was crushing knowing that was the support system he had. You, however were looking forward to the holiday, flying home to see your mom, dad, and sister. You'd avoided inviting Flip up until this point never feeling absolutely certain you wanted him to come. It wasn't that you didn't want him to know your family, but conversations with your overbearing sister about your virginity loomed in the back of your mind. Plus, you wouldn't know what to do with yourself if he'd brought up moving in or the fact that he loved you in front of other people, it was awkward enough trying to brush it over with your friends, you couldn't imagine if you had to do it in front of your dad. Sitting in your dorm now with your sister on speaker droning on about your trip, you were trying to quickly end the call knowing Flip was on his way. "My flight leaves at around noon, so I should be there around four I think. So that's plenty enough time." You told her, trying to ease her worry that you may miss your niece's turkey pageant. Flip walked in, having apparently lost the ability to knock on the door. Your eyes went wide as Debbie's voice echoed through your room. You tried to shut her up but she couldn't take the fucking hint.