A Taste Of Life

Chp. 30- Beach House

Ava's POV.

Life doesn't always give you what you want. I know that now. Taylor was my craving, my deepest darkest hunger, everything I desired most. But all the signs were there. Our relationship was never easy. Something always had to infere. He moved hundreds of miles away. I wonder, maybe it was never meant to be. And nothing hurts more than to almost be in love. To almost have it all. To almost be okay.

Even if life doesn't go the way you want it, you always find yourself having everything you need. Like Logan. He's everything a girl would die to have. He makes me feel secure, safe, and normal. It's a dull feeling, but a positive one. I'm supposed to want this. The feeling of want and longing conquers all. But look where giving in to my desires got me. And now, I'm just going to live with this gnawing feeling until one day it stops.. if it ever does.

"You ready for the best week of your life?" Logan smiled as we climbed in the back seat.

I forced a smile on my face and nodded.

He slung his arm over my shoulder. "You should get some rest, it looks like you hardly slept."

I remained silent as I rested my head against his chest. I closed my eyes, unconsiousness washing over me.

..

Our hands interwined together, never daring to break apart. We gaze at the stars in silence, the kind of silence that felt good in between spaces.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, turning my head to look at him.

He continued to stare at the stars as he spoke, "You.. Me... Us."

"What about us?"

"I wonder if this.. us.. is going to last."

"Of course it is. What makes you think so differently?"

".. All my life has ever been is fucked up. And it scares me sometimes because you come along and you make everything.. bearable. You make look forward to my future and shit like that."

I laughed silently at his language. "Is that a bad thing?"

"I don't know.." He answered truthfully. "I'm scared because.. for the first time in my life, I feel okay. I don't feel anger dwelling inside me anymore. I don't feel the gnawing regret when I think about what's going to become of me." He turned his head to look at me. " I just feel.. peaceful. And I know I feel like this because of you. You came into my life and you.. you made me okay again. And I'm scared because maybe one of these days, you'll realize how much of a fucked up of a person I really am whose incapable of loving anybody but himself. And I'm scared that one of these days, you'll leave.. and I won't be okay anymore."

I switched my position so I could be on my stomach and facing him. "You are not as fucked up as you think. Because if you're mentally ill and delusional, then hell, I am too. No matter where you are or what you're going through, I will never let you hurt alone. You'll never be alone. It's just you and me. And there is no way in hell that this heart," I grabbed his hand and put it over my chest, "will ever beat for anybody else but you. And if life ever decides that maybe this wasn't meant to be, I'll never let it take away the love I have for you that courses through these veins. And if one of us loses our way, I know that this beating heart will always bring us back to each other.."

He full lips turned upwards into a smile. "I love you."

"And I love you."

..

"Ava."

"Ava." I felt a light squeeze shaking on my thigh.

I fluttered my eyes open to see Logan shaking my shoulder to wake me up. "Babe, we're here."

Groggily, I sat up my seat. I looked up to see a beautiful house sitting on the edge of the beach. Lights glowed from inside as I stared at in awe.

"Was I asleep the whole time?"

"Yeah." He rubbed his sore neck.

"I'm sorry. I guess I really was tired."

"It's okay." He leaned over to me, gving me a kiss on my lips. "Come on, my parents are inside."

We climbed out the car amd grabbed our luggage from the back seat. I follwed behind Logan into the glorious house. I stared around me, beautiful lights shining above.

"Logan, we're going to go into the city to buy some dinner. Show Ava around." Mrs. Carter said her and her husband walked out the front door.

"Well, looks like we have the place to ourselves." Logan smirked. "Let me show you around."

I followed behind him as he showed me the grand living room, dining room, and kitchen. Most of the walls in the house were made out of glass, giving a great view of the ocean.

"And here's our room." He said leading us into a room with white walls and a king size bed in the middle of the room.

"Our room?" I hesitated.

"O-Oh. Well if you want to, I can sleep in the guest bedroom. We don't have to-"

"Logan, it's okay." I assured him, "It's not a big deal."

"Okay." A shy smile spread to his face. "Anyways, I want to show you something."

He grabbed my hand and lead me to the backyard of the house, where the fresh sand stood. The sun was setting over the horizon, giving the sky various colors of pinks, blues, and purples.

"This is beautiful." I said barely above a whisper.

He gently put his hand on the small of my back and lead me onto the beach. He grabbed a towel from a bin and layed it out on the sandy shore. "I just thought you would like to watch the sunset with me." He said sitting down.

"That's very thoughtful of you." I complimented as I sat down.

"Anything for you." His words came easily with no hesitation, as if he would do anything to prove his words. A guilty ache started to gnaw in my stomach. I don't deserve him. Fuck I don't deserve this.

"What are you thinking about?" He eyed me curiously.

I looked at the sunset, gazing at it's radiant beauty. Taylor. This could only feel right if it was Taylor.

I shook my head from the deceiving thoughts. No. Taylor is no more, I'm not going to be held back anymore. It wasn't meant to be.. it just wasn't.

I leaned my head onto his shoulder and forced a small smile.

"You."