The Story of Jane

An Unconventional Ending

Idiot.

She screamed. She screamed and screamed, and cried, and wailed in the confines of her room for as long as she could. Wanting, wishing to feel something else then the hollowness threatening to engulf her.

Her mother and her stupid contracts. A year ago, Jane saw Lady Wilson as the most perfect person in the world. She was the reason Jane joined the cause. She was the reason Jane never gave up on her father. She was the reason the queen was threatening to make Jane fall. She was the reason four of the ten women didn't survive their injuries. Her mother was the reason for the blood on her hands.

How could she have overlooked this? The stupid betrothal that had her tossing and turning in the middle of the night. The betrothal that made her give up Alastair in fear. She let out another scream, the guttural sound almost animal to her ears.

__________

"Where have you been?" Her mother asked, her voice quiet but laced with venom as she eyed Jane. "The Finleys have already left."

"I was with Kit—"

"His name is Nicholas," she snapped. "He is a prince. You will treat him as such." She looked Jane over, the mud splattered across her dress and the remnants of rain dripping from her hair. "Get inside. Change into something simple." She jerked her head toward the door. "Emmeline will make sure you look presentable for tomorrow."

"Mama—"

"Go." Her voice shattered Jane's heart. It wasn't anger. Anger was easy, it could be resented. This was disappointment, and it rang in her ears like a warning bell. "And I don't want you talking to His majesty anymore. You're not going to be the reason he can't find a wife. You cannot be the disgrace of this family, do you understand?"

"Yes mama."

"It's time to change your ways, Jane. You're not a child anymore."

__________

"No papa— papa listen to me,"

"...disgrace. It's going to reach the papers and I'll be the one stuck dealing with it then."

"I understand you're frustrated—"

"What were you thinking? You can't walk into a marriage when you're betrothed to someone else."

"I know, that's the issue—"

"Your mother and her arrangements." She heard him exhale tiredly. "Look Jane, we'll continue this when I get there. I'm already packing. We'll storm those Finleys."

"I'm glad you feel that way papa, but we don't—" Jane sighed, setting down the telephone as her father hung up.

"He wouldn't listen?" Emma offered a smile as she appeared at the door.

"He wouldn't stop talking." Jane kicked her desk.

Why couldn't things just go according to plan? Why did there have to be resistance against the cause? Why did there have to be people threatening them?

Why did Jane have to be the one to break Kit?

She could still see him looking hopelessly around as she left the altar. He had always been there, sleeping behind slammed doors, willing to follow their childish schemes. It was stupid of her to think they could have an unproblematic relationship.

"You should be with him."

"Jane," Emma's smile faltered as she caught Jane's cold stare from her place on the bed. "No."

"Why not? You were engaged to him before. And he loves you plenty." She shrugged. "He tells you everything."

"Jane, it isn't the same."

"Why not?" she repeated, sitting straighter as a maid came to replace their tea. "You were his first choice. The two of you came first. I only interrupted it." She grabbed a biscuit. "You're perfect for each other, always in sync. You have no secrets between each other."

"Because I was the one who proposed!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms out and falling backwards on the bed. "I was the one he said no to, Jane! I was the one he couldn't see a future in. Not the same way he sees it in you." She said, blinking back angry tears. "I don't understand how you can't see it. You're in love with him and he's in love with you. You look at him like he's the sun, he sees the stars twinkling in your eyes and you both think the other is staring at the ground." She sat up, meeting Jane's eyes. "Everyone around you can see it. You can too, but you're too damn stubborn thinking he wants someone, something else."

"I don't care that he said no to me. I don't care if there's no one else out there for me. I've accepted that. I've moved on." Her gaze softened, relief flooding through her. "But the two of you have something people like me are looking for. And I can't stand to see you throw it away. So you have a queen threatening your position. You have half a kingdom hating you. What difference does that make?" She asked. "Does it change your feelings for Nick? Does it make you hate him? Pity him?"

"Because the moment you do that, doubt will taint you. And you can choose to let it break you. Or you can do something." She stopped, cursing herself internally as she saw Kit at the door. "I didn't— I'm sorry. I don't—"

He turned to Jane. "Can I talk to you?"

"I should go."

"No, Emma," She watched her run down the hall. "Emma," She saw her skirts disappear before turning to Kit. "You really broke her didn't you?"

"You look at him like he's the sun, he sees the stars twinkling in your eyes and you both think the other is staring at the ground." Kit repeated. "It's true."

"What is?"

"You do look at me like I'm the sun." He smiled, watching a small chuckle escape her. "How are you?"

"Truthfully?" Jane plopped onto her bed, where Emma was moments before. "A bit relieved. Not—" she saw his face drop. "Not relieved that I'm betrothed to a man I barely know. That's terrifying."

"You never said yes," he said, realisation crashing in. That's why she kept avoiding him. That was why she never talked of their engagement aloud.

"I know demanding money out of a relationship wasn't the ideal way of accepting a proposal. I'm sorry—"

"It's alright." He tilted her chin up, looking into the brown irises he lost himself in so many times. "It's not your fault." She had nothin to be sorry for. It was he who couldn't notice her discomfort.  "We're just not there yet. If anything, I shouldn't have sprung onto you. I should have asked."

"I didn't want to disappoint you."

"Jane, if I ever say I'm disappointed in you, I want you to slap me and tell Emma." They broke into smiles. "Whatever it is you have to do, you have to tell me."

"And if it compromises your position?"

"Then we'll deal with it." He kissed the top of her head. "That's what we do, remember?"

We plummet together.