Your Butt. Your Butt Is Da Bomb. There Will Be No Survivors

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Polite chatter and soft piano notes mingled in the background as Jane smoothed down her dress in an unconscious act of nervousness. Despite her having nothing to be nervous about. They had an appropriate betrothal and were standing side by side, very much in love. There was nothing that anyone could possibly tempt as scandal. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

"You may begin exchanging your vows."

Kit stepped closer and took a deep shuddering breath as their hands found each other. "My love, Jane Alastair," He smiled, so genuine and sweet. So unabashedly and beamingly in love. "We fell in love without a plan. Some might even say by accident." He laughed nervously, catching Emma's gaze from the crowd. "I used to believe there was nothing special about you. You were just a friend, an acquaintance. But then came a moment when I realised that I didn't just want to spend time with you. I wanted you. There was a string that tethered me to you. You, Jane, who brought so much light into my life. You who made the most mundane events an adventure You are the stars lighting up my darkest nights. You are the sunlight breaking through the clouds after a storm." His voice broke, a whisper of a tear in his eyes. "You have never stopped loving me, and if you'll let me, I will do my best to love you back." There was no one to stop Kit from slipping the wedding band over her finger.

Jane looked into his eyes, drinking in the steadiness they held. This was the day she had waited for so long.

"You are the most ridiculous person I've met. You are rude and obnoxious and incredibly unaware when you are intruding on other people's business." She smiled, not unkindly. "But you are also kind, humorous and wonderful. You remind me that the depths of an abyss is not where I live. You stop me from spiraling into the darkness. You bring light into my world when I eclipse. You are incredibly supportive, you're more than I could possibly ask for. The past few weeks have taught me that things can't always go as planned." She chuckled. "But they don't seem as big, or bad as long as you have the right people with you." She ran her thumb over his hand, eyes glistening as she read the unspoken promises between them. "You asked me why I don't run. I fear it's because I might only find your arms to run into. Through every broken promise, every dark night, I will stand next to you, Kit. And I will never let go."

"Do you, Jane Taylor Anne Wilson accept this man as your husband, to have and to hold, until death do you part?"

She placed the ring on his finger, never once turning away from the man she loved. He caught her attention just as he'd done from the second they met. "Until death do us part. I do."

"If there are no objections to this unity, I now pronounce you—"

"I'd really hate to do this," a new voice rang through the hall. "But I do have an objection."

The both of them —along with the rest of the hall— turned, the collective sound of skirts rustling reminding her too much of the feet trampling over her failed revolution. An attractive woman stood among the guests wearing a gown that put Jane's to shame. She was halfway down the aisle, clutching an envelope in her gloved hand, unaffected by the deathly glares cast at her.

"Kit," Jane turned to him, expecting to see him clueless, not pale. She closed her eyes for a moment, wishing somehow that she could will it all away. "Who's that?"

"I don't—" he stopped, barely recovered from the shock to properly shake his head.

She looked from Kit to the lady, her heart pounding louder in her ears as she tried to recall what Kit had said about his romantic pursuits. As far as she knew,it was only her and one other. "What's happening Kit?"

"Miss Corner." He tightened his jaw, giving a small nod as she passed the envelope to their official.

"I didn't want to do this, Wilson." Her tone was sincere. If she wasn't here for Kit, why was she interrupting their ceremony? "I tried to find another way. I really did."

"When was your betrothal your majesty?" Their official's face turned darker with every line he read, only glancing at Kit for an answer.

"Our courtship started in January. And our engagement was announced this spring." He took a second before answering, eyes darting between the three of them and the crowd. Almost as if he thought it was a dream. Or a nightmare.

'I'm sorry." True regret filled his features. "As long as this document remains in effect, I cannot wed you two."

Jane dropped the ring, it's clatter far too loud for such a tiny thing. Her heart plummeted as her mind failed to wrap around the situation. "Why?"

"It says here, you're engaged to a Lord Finley. Not the prince."

Of all the things that could possibly go wrong, she had never expected this to happen. Of all the stupid things her mother did, she never thought this one would come to bite her back.

"I need to make a call."

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