The Official Boyband Handbook

[07] The Auditions

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There’s something in your voice that makes my heart beat fast.

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Chapter Seven - The Auditions

The judges waited for him to say something, but all Zayn could muster was an expression unreadable by most. Frankie felt it was something sandwiched between shock and confusion. He shakily held the microphone up to his lips, his eyes rapidly scanning the crowd. A part of him was desperate to leave; to walk straight off the stage on which he came. This place wasn’t for him. It wasn’t for the frightened school boy who had a difficult time merely talking to his peers. Around his friends, of course, he was the total opposite. He was loud, boisterous and comical. However, standing atop a painted red X, mirroring the actions of those who auditioned before him, he found it all to be quite foolish. The only reason he was doing this to begin with was because his mother has asked him to and he never disobeyed her.

“Hi, what’s your name?” Gary asked, taking on the role of Simon.

“Uh, my name’s Zayn.”

“What are you going to sing?”

“I’m going to sing Mario, Let Me Love You.”

“Okay.” With a nod of Gary’s head, Zayn began to perform.

When the song finished, Zayn breathed slowly through his nose. He awaited the judges’ response, feeling a sense of déjà vu overtake his thoughts.

“Okay, Louis,” said Gary, turning to the older judge. “Yes or no?”

“Mm, yeah!”

“Nicole?”

“Yes.”

“Tulisa?”

“Yup.”

“And Zayn, I’m going to say yes.” Gary finished, smiling at the lad.

In this moment, it became widely evident that the audience was more confused than ever. They began shouting questions at anyone who would listen, pleading for some sort of answer. Zayn Malik was one fifth of the world’s biggest boyband and he had auditioned for the X Factor nearly four years prior. He had made it big, all around the world. Why was he auditioning again? With the same song, same truncated confidence, as if he wasn’t who everyone thought he was.

The truth was Zayn, himself, didn’t know these things. He was just as lost as they were and he was looking for a few answers himself. A week in the hospital later, with the doctors and his family telling him the same thing, he wasn’t sure if what they said was the reality of the situation at all.

“Have, I, uh…?”

Gary nodded at him, “go on, Zayn.”

“Have I done that before?”

The judges looked at one another, unsure what to do. The producers hadn’t told them what actions to take if something like this occurred. They hadn’t anticipated it.

“Uh-“

“Never mind,” Zayn cut Louis off. “I’m gonna go now.”

The silence which trailed after him burned the dark haired boy’s ears. He clenched and unclenched his hands, cursing ardently under his breath till he reached backstage where his older sister, mother and an unfamiliar group of people stood. They looked like they had been waiting for him.

“Zayn…” His Mum began to weep, crushing her only son in a tight embrace. “I’m sorry.”

He pulled back, looking her in the eyes. “Mum, what are you sorry about?”