[COMPLETED] where she sat and ate her strawberries, while he smoked his cigarettes.
-harry styles au
-set in summer of 1998
-mentions rape, sexual assault, abuse, fighting, and suicide
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~Harry~
All of his life he had been told that he wasn't enough, that he would never amount to anything more than a mistake. That he was a good for nothing, son of a bitch that should've stayed a stain on the bed sheets.
He didn't believe it at first, that those were only words that his drunken father would shout after one too many cold ones. But then the older he got, the more realized just how true his father's drunken tangents were. Because when it came down to it, Harry truly believed with everything inside of him that he was nothing.
When he came home from Woodgate, he was finally starting to believe that he had a purpose, that someone in the world saw him for more than just a worthless kid. That somehow, there was another soul besides Louis telling him that he was more than the horrible words spoken to him.
But hearing that and actually believing it were two different things. And right now, it was hard for him to remember the small voice in the back of his head that sounded oddly similar to the Doncaster boy. Because all he could hear were the much louder voices.
The ones of his father, of the headmaster... and of his own.
"Hey," she said softly, pulling himself out of the darkness he was slowly slipping into as her small fingers ran through his hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Did he? Did he want to tell her how much of a horrible person he was, that Dean had made him do something he had promised himself he wouldn't do ever again?
He almost said no, the fear of her making him leave was almost too much for him to bear. He wanted nothing more than this, to have her simply be there with him. He knew he was going to mess it up, that there was no way someone like her could ever want someone like him. People like her shouldn't be with people like him.
But then the much smaller part of him - the one that finally wanted to come clean to her - started becoming bigger than ever before. To tell her about all of the horrors in his life, maybe then she would hold him close and never let go.
Because right now... that's all he wanted.
He softly nodded, sitting up from her arms and looking into her bright blue eyes, only this time he didn't find them annoyingly bright.
They held so much compassion. Like she was wiser beyond her years, that there was nothing he could tell her to make turn away from him. He only hoped that would be true.
She smiled softly at him, his heart leaping in his chest when she placed her hand gently onto his knee. He looked down at her hand, placing his on top of her as she turned her palm up, intertwining their fingers in an instant, as if she never had the intention of letting go.
