s t r e a m {SAPNAP}

- 2 -

BEE POV
"My life may be in shambles, but at least a faceless Minecraft streamer said I wasn't ugly when I cried."

***

OCTOBER 3RD

My alarm went off at 8:30 the next morning. There was no getting around it or snoozing—it was time to get up and be productive. I groaned and threw my covers off.

The first thing I did was check the Mail, and taped to my door was a note from my downstairs neighbor who took up the other half of the duplex we rented. She was angry, I suppose, for my screaming last night.

I pretended I didn't see it. If the landlord says something, then I'll stop being loud.

Aside from that, my mailbox held the paycheck I'd been waiting for all week. Working at a pizza place doesn't always pay the best, but when you're a shift supervisor you certainly have a nice check. I took it inside and closed the door behind me.

I drank coffee in my pajamas and scrolled through Twitter. Dream had liked my last tweet but didn't respond, which I wasn't really offended by. The high I'd gotten from last night's stream had worn away. My sub count increased by only a few, but that was ok. It was nice while it lasted, and I was a few steps closer to 3k followers.

I didn't care to eat breakfast.

I took a shower and prepared myself for a long day. At 9:30 I had my comp-sci class, and being one of the only girls in it was annoying. Being a girl in stem these days was aggravating and I was definitely not a stranger to the sexism.

I threw on white mom jeans and a pastel yellow top, then changed it to black jeans and a school hoodie. I was not in the mood for catcalling.

I stared at myself in the mirror. As I stared, I thought back to the stream. I felt so dead. God, I wished it was over.

"Just two months," I reminded myself. "And then it's winter break."

I was in my second year of school, and was coming seriously close to dropping out.

I put on some light makeup and pulled two strands of hair out of my ponytail and into my face. I sighed and pulled them back into the rest of my hair. I hated it.

I took my medicine. For a split second as I swallowed my pills, I told myself to take them all. I forced the lid back onto the orange bottle and put it high on my kitchen cabinets.

I was not doing okay. I knew it was the stress of life getting to me, but it felt like so much more. The small red and blue pills glared at me before I closed to cabinet.

I received a text from Kayla. It was a routine, you see. I woke up, I got the mail, I drank my coffee, I showered, got dressed, hated myself, hated myself for my stupid decisions, and then she would text and ask if I was alive.

I hated it.

Kayla:
Goodmorning:) still alive?

Bee:
Unfortunately, yes.

Kayla:
Don't say that.

Kayla:
Are you coming to comms today?

Bee:
Maybe, maybe not. I'm going to comp sci now.