Let Me Go

Chapter Thirteen

"CAELEN, I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!!"

Briar's words hovered in the air as everything seemed to freeze in time. The wind gave a harsh blow, and the entire word seemed to seize at the two people stood in New York.

Caelen remained facing the apartment door, his hand approximately 2 inches from touching the door handle. His breathing had quickened ever so slightly, and his eyes couldn't seem to stay in one place as his mind raced through everything he had ever known.

Briar Lena Rosehem, the girl who had pushed him away every chance she had. The girl who had always swore to never allow a bad boy like Caelen to steal her heart. The girl who had somehow changed Caelen's whole life by only making an appearance. The girl who loved him.

Everything he had ever wanted, was right there, standing as her words hovered in the crisp air.

And he still couldn't decide whether to continue walking away, or to finally sweep her up in his arms, and admit that cheating was the biggest mistake he ever made.

"Did you hear me?" Briar choked out, her hair whipping her face as her hot tears rolled right down her face, dripping onto her coat. "Did you hear what I said? Or do I have to scream louder?"

She kept blinking, trying to somehow control her tears in order to seem less weak to him. But why should she? Why was admitting that Caelen was her everything so weak? It wasn't. She had courage, it took all she had to finally admit that she loved him. And that in itself was an act of bravery.

"CAELEN ETHAN DWAYNE, FUCKING LOOK AT ME!!" She screamed, her throat becoming sore from how loud she was screaming.

Caelen stood for a few more seconds, staring at the apartment door. He could do it, you know, just walk in and never say another word. He could disregard her just as she had to him before she left. He could fight his feelings one more time, and say he didn't feel the same. But it would be a lie.

And it would put them right back where they started.

So slowly, he turned. He turned and faced her, stood straight to show all that he had. And that was nothing. Caelen no longer stood for anything in his mind, his career was far out of reach, the girl he loved had been cheated on, his own body couldn't function without some form of illegal substance. So he stood there in front of Briar, showing all he exactly stood for.

"Say something" Briar whispered, her voice pleading for Caelen to give her some sign that he was still there. 

"I don't know what to say" He replied, his own voice hoarse. His eyes looked beyond her as tears once again filled them, he couldn't bring himself back to the situation. He couldn't look at her, knowing she had made up her mind while he was still broken in so many ways.

"Anything" She muttered, her tears falling though she didn't make any move to wipe them away. She wanted him to see all that she was too, she wanted to show him that she was still the girl he fell in love with. "What's on your mind?"

It was a poor attempt, of course, to try and get him to open up and reveal exactly what he was thinking about but what else was she suppose to do? Back in the good days, they would always talk about how they were feeling and what they were thinking. They were two people with one mind.

"I'm thinking about how you could be playing a big game, yet here I am unarmed. I'm think about how I could reveal everything to you but still not have a good ending" He breathed out, a hand reaching up to wipe his tears away when she took a step forward, causing his hand to drop back by his side. 

"It's not a game, this isn't my move" Briar sobbed out, creating a waterfall as she tried to think of all the ways she could to stop him from walking away. "This is me, trying to tell you how I'm sorry. I've always loved you Caelen, this isn't a joke to me anymore, I'm done with trying to make you hurt. I'm done with trying to be even. All I've ever wanted was for me and you to be happy, and if you have to walk away for that then fine, I'll let you go. But you've got to know that I love you, that you're everything to me and that every part of you is special to me"