friend zone ✦ draco malfoy

twenty-nine

*ivy's p.o.v.*

"Today's the day", Pansy said prancing into my bedroom. "Cotillion is finally here"

"Yay", I said weakly.

"Oh, come on, Ives. Just make the best of it", she said throwing her arms around me. "I know it's going to suck for awhile but after the dance, you can just leave... or hang out with Draco", she smirked.

"Get out of here with that", I said taking her arms off of me.

"Stop lying to yourself and admit you have feelings for him. There's no need to put a barrier with me, I'm totally over Draco"

"I'm not putting up a 'barrier' with you, I just... I don't know..."

"You better tell him how you feel before it's too late"

"What do you mean 'before it's too late'?"

"We're not going back to Hogwarts next year. Who knows when you'll see Draco again. This is your chance to let him know that you've been obsessed with him since first year"

"I'm not obsessed with him", I said rolling my eyes.

"Either way, you can't walk away from tonight without telling him how you feel"

She's right, I can't. I might never see Draco again if I don't say something, but what if he doesn't feel the same way about me? I've had feelings for Draco for as long as I remember. I remember the butterflies I got when our hands accidentally touched during our first Potions class together. The first time I felt genuinely head over heels for someone when he called me beautiful the night of the Yule Ball or the fear I felt when he got in a duel with Harry last year. Even with his flaws, I still manage to love him. I love him. I love Draco Malfoy.

I'm in love with Draco Malfoy and I can't get the guts to tell him. With how things ended between Theo and I, I'm scared that Draco and I will have the same fate. What if he sees how fucked up I really am? How I crave other people's approval, scared to commit to a relationship I'm scared of being abandoned, and compartmentalize my emotions because if I hate the feeling of being vulnerable. I'm not good enough for Draco. How can I be? He needs someone who is stable and knows how to love and I can't give that to him.

Before I start getting ready for the ball tonight, I decided to read a book for awhile so I can calm my nerves for tonight. I walked over to my bookcase and picked off Pride and Prejudice because whenever I need to escape, I like to read the sappiest romance novels ever written. Pride and Prejudice is one hell of a roller coaster but there's something about loving a mysterious man who shows absolutely no emotions and then finally seeing th real him is so rewarding to me. This is probably why I can't find the right kind of guy, my expectations are way too damn high, or just impossible to reach.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It's T-2 hours before I have to be at the Malfoy Manor for cotillion and now it's time for me to start getting ready for the ball. My mother insists on doing my mine and Pansy's hair but I already know she's going to make us look like we're actually in the 19th century and I rather not have little ringlet curls that make me look like I have snakes coming out of my head.

I walked over to my vanity and started on doing my makeup. My dress light and dare I say, super "girly" so I want to work my "edgy" style into my makeup. I used my black eyeliner to do a wing that accentuate my almond shaped eyes and mascara to my my long lashes look even longer and fuller. I'm sure winged liner was not a thing in the 1800s but there's no way I'm presented wearing only blush. For my face, I kept it pretty natural and topped off my look with clear lip gloss. As for my hair, I casted a charm that gave me loose curls and pulled it back into a half up half dow, tying a ribbon in my hair that matched my dress.