A Ray of Light (Nagito x Izuru fanfiction)

Chapter 8: Fade away

Warning: A little blood I guess ________________________________________________________________________________

Did you heard

 of the Hanahaki disease? 

It's supposed to be an illness born from unrequited love. The person developping this disease will see flowers grow into their lungs, making them cough up petals. It's supposed to heal only when your love is reciprocated, or else, the person will die, suffocated by the vegetation. The infection can also be removed through surgery... but the feelings of love will also disappear. 

Though it would be the safest option, the people infected almost never go through removing the petals. Even though it is really painful, and that they will most likely die, they still want to keep loving. 

Of course, this disease is entirely fictional. We never saw anyone dying from unrequited love. Or at least... not that way. 

But it still is interesting, don't you think? Why flowers, of all the things? 

Love can hurt. I think that's what it means. Love can be a sweet and beautiful thing, just like flowers. But just like some of them have thorns, love can also create bruises. Wounds that can never heal... 

So why do people choose to keep these feelings? Getting rid of them would solve everything. But... at the same time, these feelings, these strange feelings, that we don't know where they come from, just like a petal carried by the wind that falls on your head during a spring morning, that can come in all different shapes and colors, like flowers, that can come in a myriad, but also something you'll never see again, like flowers, is also

one of the prettiest feeling you could have.

Don't you think?

*///*

-Chiaki-san, look what I found!

I turned my head slowly, to see Nagito-kun behind me, holding out a small hermit crab. 

-That's nice. But I don't think we can use it to cook...

-Ah, like I thought, I'm pretty useless...

He smiled, but with a trace of deception in it. Nagito-kun's always smiling, but I know he hides some of his feelings from all of us. I became even more sure when I saw him crying during the night the other day. I didn't let him see I was awake, because I know he wouldn't want us to see him crying. I still discreetly followed him outside, and I was glad to see him with Izuru-kun. I always do my best to help him opening up. I know he doesn't think high of himself. So I'm glad he can open up to someone, even if that person isn't me.

-You still can put it in the bucket, maybe Teruteru-san can do something with it...

He looked more happy as he did what I told him. He then went back to his search a little further, hobbling a little. I'm glad he wasn't hurt more. He also to hide it, but I heard him cough... It's getting worse, isn't it?

As to what we were doing: we all decided to hold a little competition to see who would be able to find more cooking ingredients on the beach. We were in team of four, my team composed of myself, Nagito-kun, Izuru-kun and Ryota-kun. Ryota is Nagito's new friend, and his occupations are pretty close to mine, so we get along well. But... not for long I guess...

I then stood up and walked further away.

There's someone I have to talk to.

*///*

-Hey, Izuru-kun...

He turned around at the sound of my voice, his face wearing the same passive look he always have. He nodded at me, while I approached to be next to him. He didn't stop looking at me, while he usually just ignores other people, while I looked at the ocean. The place he had found was quite relaxing, with a beautiful view of the waves, a pleasant silence, interrupted only by the sound of the wind brushing against our faces. I then opened my mouth:

-So... are you having fun?

He furrowed his eyebrows, a little perplexed, then went back at observing the ocean, seemingly annoyed. I let out a small laugh, then a small silence followed it before I spoke up again:

-You found... that person.

He looked back at me, confusion on his face:

-What are you talking about?

I turned to look at him fully:

-I knew you could do it Izuru-kun. Finding the person that would be the most important in your life.

He stared at me

-How do you know...

-Izuru-kun... I believe in you. I know you'll follow the path you want to, the one that'll make you happy. 

I smiled sadly:

-Congratulations.

A painful expression on his face. You figured it out at last, right?

-You are-

I was now right in front of him, a finger on his mouth, making the sign of silence. I slowly shook my head, then took a step back.

-I'm not here anymore. I was only there to help you a little. You found that one person, you don't need me from now on.

I smiled again and he just stared at me, his mouth shot, because he knew, that he couldn't say anything. I turned my back to him, then took slow steps toward where I came from. I stopped to tell one last thing:

-You know you have to hurry, right?

And of course he knew, I could see it in his eyes.

-So face this problem soon, kay? You'll get through it together, I believe in you.

And I walked away.

*///*

I guess I can now erase myself. Izuru-kun doesn't need me anymore. Nagito-kun either. I'll let them live their life without interfering. I'll soon let my existence disappear, little by little, leaving my body to the new Chiaki. 

I'm sorry I took so long to lend you your body. I stayed here for a little too long. I guess I didn't want to leave. But it's not that bad either.

I'll be with you soon, Hinata-kun.

[*...*]

-*Cough* *Cough* Cou-, hng!

I quickly put a hand on my mouth, while a splatter of pink liquid came to fill it. I looked at the little puddle in my palm, slowly flowing between my fingers, small droplets falling near my feet. 

Blood, huh?

I guess my luck ran out.

Well, it was the only thing keeping me alive in the first place.

I couldn't help but laugh. I brought my other hand to my face, stucking it in my hair, almost pulling them out. Ah, such an unfortunate life I lived. 

But I will still not fall into despair. It would be losing against the thing I hate the most. So I'll just keep being a stepping stone for hope for the rest of my time left here. 

[*...*]

As well as being pretty and sweet, love is also hard to maintain. For it to fully bloom, you have to look after it, just like a flower, or it could get swept away by a strong wind, announcing a storm like never seen before.

And maybe, even if you put all your mind into protecting this fragile thing, it'll still fade away before you could notice.

But, maybe the storm will also be a good thing, bringing regenerating rain, and that your love will come back from it even stronger than before.

For the people wondering, Chiaki doesn't die. It's only... her ancient personnality, that shouldn't even still exist, that'll fade away. 

So hmmm... don't be traumatised or something. Please.

Also school is torture, just a random comment.