Two Ghosts (Bad Idea Sequel)

019. YOU'RE THE REASON

BLAIR

I stood before the two most important people in my life at that moment, and watched them carefully. t
Tears began to seep out at the corner of my eyes as I studied Pete and Harry's every movement.

Small streams of tears began to fall from Pete's eyes as he watched my mouth begin to move whilst I finished the sentence I had dreaded to begin.

"Pete.. you know this would've never worked out." I sighed, keeping my eyes glued to the dark slap etched with marble below me. I felt embarrassed. was everything just a joke? A big joke that they failed to include me on?

Things were never supposed to work out this way. I was supposed to end up with Pete, but it didn't happen. I was ashamed.

Harry looked back at me in disbelief, his hand grazing the back of his neck as he, too, stared down at the marble slab below us.

"You don't trust me." I added quietly, refusing to make eye contact with either of the two men. "Of course I do, Blair. You know I—" Pete stumbled over his words desperately. "Fuck it, I want to marry you Blair. I want to be able to spend the rest of my life with you, and I'm so sorry that being paranoid or jealous or whatever the fuck I feel about you and Harry can get in the way of what we have." He sighed, trying to take steps towards me.

"It's just that you have history together and I can't let you go to him, because i know he's not the right person for you." Pete cleared his throat and stared at Harry, waiting for his response

"Are you serious?" harry said, nervousness evident in his voice as he used hand gestures to dismiss Pete.
"Stay the fuck out of this, man. I mean honestly, why are you even here?!" Pete yelled at Harry, making him put his hands up in defense and back away.

"Pete, you don't trust me." I retorted once more without second thoughts, as knew it the moment the words slipped out of his lips. I ignored his conflict with Harry, because I knew it was only superficial.

It frustrated me to the death yet saddened me deeply at the exact same time. I could hear that there was desperation in his soul but I couldn't just give in to what he wanted, and much less needed.

"Of course I trust you, Blair. I do! It's just that I don't trust Ha—" he answered desperately, the large veins in his neck flexing with frustration and annoyance.

"Harry is in the past!" I shouted, forgetting that he stood beside me. I suddenly let out a flow of tears, I didn't even notice how reminiscing on the past about Harry would make me cry in such large amounts.

"I- I left him, do you not remember?" I choked out in between sobs. "I left him to better myself, and leave all of the shit that happened to us behind me, even though I know I'd be the best version of myself if i was with Harry. We don't have that, Pete. You cant understand what I'm going through because you never had something like that."

"And to think that you're pushing my past down my throat hurts me a lot, because even you said it yourself, you don't even trust me." I cried out.

"I love you, Blair." He announced, standing in front of me, getting both of my hands and started massaging my knuckles. "Trust me, you don't Pete. You're only saying that because you think it's convenient for you. We're both just distractions. We never wanted this." I said and retrieved my hand away.

I wiped my face using the back of my tattooed hand and started to move away from him. I couldn't handle the emotional strain of loving someone again, then having them taken away from me.

"Where the fuck are you going, Blair?" He questioned impatiently, annoyance deeply evident in his voice as followed me to the center of the driveway where Harry stood. "Away from you." i responded to him bluntly.

"Fine." He answered a bit too calmly and leaned on the siding of the home, crossing his arms. "Leave then. By the time you get back, I'll be gone gone." He said calmly.

"You know we can talk about it like adults, right? We aren't in middle school." I replied hastily, my voice cracking by the second. It felt like he was giving up on me, and I didn't ever ever want to feel that feeling. Even if we were each other's distraction, he was there for me in my darkest of times, and I still loved him for that. Without Pete, I wouldn't have lasted all these months. I would've collapsed, and it wouldn't have been pretty. 

He was my constant for the time being, and even if I was afraid to admit it, he was my source of happiness, because he truly did make me happy.

"No, Blair. I told you that i'm leaving and you won't ever see me crawling back to you, time and time again. I gave you love and what you needed but you went ahead and threw all of it away. I don't want you or need you running back to me when your second chance with Harry goes to shit." Pete snarled.

I squinted my eyes in annoyance and stopped walking back to the car. "Oh, is that all I am to you? All I'll ever be?  I asked, my voice breaking. " am i just Harry Styles' ex girlfriend?" I started to yell.

"Pete, you know literally everything about what i've been through, so is that really all I am to you? Do you think my relationship with Harry was the only thing that turned my life into shit?! For fuck's sake I lost my own baby, and you know that, Pete!" I yelled louder, balling my fists at my sides.

"The thing wasn't even alive half an hour. Stop with your bullshit, Blair." His own jealousy and insecurity spoke for him.

My heart sank as I processed the words released from his mouth. Images of all of the countless nights I cried to him over my terrible misfortune, the endless mornings when I had to force myself to eat because I was just too sad. the nights that he would stay and listen to me cry in the music studio because it was the only release I had.

"Thats it. I cant fucking do this anymore." Harry called from behind me in the driveway, taking long strides up the pavement to Pete, face to face with him. Pete smirked and stared down at the pavement creepily, bringing his gaze up to meet Harry's .

"Just stop, Harry. Please." Seeing him in this state triggered me, because in my mind, he was the reason this was all happening. He was the reason my relationship with Pete failed. But I couldn't blame him, because a part of me still loved and cared about Harry. No matter how deep down the part was, it was sure as hell still there.

Without another second of hesitation, Harry's fist collided with the skin of o face, knocking him back a few steps as he brought his hands up to the side of his cheek and clutched it.

My mouth dropped open at the sight of the incident, watching as Pete fell and Harry stood there with a look of anger that i've never seen him wear before.

Pete stared back up at me from his spot on the front porch with a taunting stare, as if he was to say, 'you're making a serious mistake.'

But pete wasn't my person. Nor was he my forever, he was never supposed to be. My forever was somewhere outside of the gates of this house with Pete, yet I somehow couldn't bring myself to still blindly believe in the idea of love or a soulmate.

"Lets go, Blair." Harry whispered quietly, putting his hand on the small of my back in an attempt to lead me into his car. With a look of confusion, I took a step back and looked at the beautiful home I was leaving behind, and more importantly the life I had built with the person seated on the front step.

But my future was ahead of me, and so was Harry. I couldnt allow the past to be shoved down my throat anymore, because that only made things worse and worse for me.

I turned away and did a small jog into Harry's car, immediately inhaling the familiar and comforting scent.

"Thank you, Harry. I mean it."

© GRANDEGALORE 2021
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