Persia's Prayer

chapter nine

Sa kalagitnaan ng pag-iinuman namin ay mataman akong nakatitig kay Anra at Alastair. They are talking about something at nayayamot ako dahil hindi ko naririnig ang usapan nila. I know Anra's friendly but Alastair seemed to enjoy her company. So ibig sabihin ba na basta hindi ako ang kasama niya, ayos lang sa kanya?

Dahil nakailang baso na ako ng alak, pakiramdam ko ay nagiging obvious ang nararamdaman kong pagkairita.

"Persia, sorry... Hindi ko naman alam na kasama si Alastair ngayon," Emily whispered. Magkatabi kami ni Emily at napagigitnaan kami ni Osiris at Greg. Katabi ko si Osiris sa kaliwang banda, samantalang si Greg ang katabi ni Emily. Katabi naman nila Alastair at Anra ang magkasintahan na si Veronica at Troy na kanina pa humahagikhik at tila may pinag-uusapan.

I sighed. Bakit pakiramdam ko nandidilim paningin ko kapag nakakakita ng couple na sobrang sweet?

"Ayos lang, Emily. It's not your fault."

"But..."

"No buts, Emily. I am fine really fine. At hindi mo naman kasalanan kung nandito si Alastair ngayon."

Kalmado lamang na nakikipag-usap si Alastair kay Anra. Perhaps, okay lang makipag-usap sa kanya kung casual lang. Iyon siguro ang dahilan kaya ayaw niya sa akin.

Maybe I'm agressive? I even kissed him when I got the opportunity. Paano ko ba naman hindi siya hahalikan? He's so beautiful. But I know, somehow it's my fault. Maybe if I approached him on a nice way, it could have been different. I even asked him to be my boyfriend. I guess, it's a total turn off kapag talaga babae ang unang nagre-reach out sa lalaki?

I sighed. Nandito na at hindi ko na maibabalik pa ang nakaraan.

"Oh, pero may girlfriend ka na?" I heard Anra asked.

Napatingin ako kay Alastair. He's wearing a grim expression. Bakit parang hindi siya masaya na ikakasal na siya? Hindi ba niya mahal ang babaeng papakasalan niya?

"Yes, I'm engaged."

"Oh." Anra sound a bit disappointed. "But hindi ba magagalit ang girlfriend mo na pumupunta ka sa ganitong lugar?"

"No."

Seriously?

And I'm his ex. Or, maituturing ba akong ex when we just lasted for a week? I laughed silently. What a joke, Persia.

I decided to drink another glass of beer again. It tasted really weird but there's something as I was drinking it. It felt bitter, pakiramdam ko ay nakikisama sa kung ano ang nararamdaman ko.

"Si Persia oh ang lakas uminom ng alak. Don't tell me mahilig ka uminom?" Osiris asked me.

"No, this is my first time actually."

Napatingin silang lahat sa akin. "Talaga ba?" Veronica asked.

Yes, considering na pastor ang Papa ko, it's a miracle na pinayagan niya akong uminom. My father is conservative but I guess, nangingibaw ang pag-aalala niya sa akin thinking that I might do something if palagi lamang ako nakakulong sa buhay.

"Yes, my father is a pastor so sadyang unang pagkakataon kong uminom. He's a bit conservative," I said.

"Oh, so that means hindi ka pa nagkakaboyfriend?" Veronica asked again.

Agad akong tumingin kay Alastair. Nahuli ko na siyang nakatingin sa akin ngayon pero umiwas din kaagad.

"Yes, but we only lasted for a week."

"What?!" Osiris exclaimed. "Bakit isang linggo lang?!"

"Well.. hindi niya ako gusto talaga. I insisted that relationship. I like him so much but he's inlove with someone else."