Eye Drops (#2)

d r e a m

"His eyes were that colour you can't see in the rainbow. Indigo." – Rainbow Rowell, Fangirl

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"This is Waffle Cones, how may I help you?"

"..."

"Uh, is it just me, or do I feel an impending lecture coming?"

"Oh, you've got the whole shitstorm coming, my friend."

"Look, maybe I did kill that potted plant, okay? Sheesh, why did they put a plant as the nearest thing to grab? Everyone knows that objects on tables are a recipe for disaster!"

"Fletcher, that's not what I called you for."

"So, what's your shitstorm?"

"Are you aware of Retina's existence?"

"Your phone buddy, right?"

"The one and only."

The only I've done is give you advice about her. Advice-giving is hard. I mean, it's not the only thing that's hard, but it's pretty hard."

"What that a dick joke–? Oh, never mind."

"I'll never your mind."

"Holy Hera, stop making sexual jokes! The point is, you told me you had a phone buddy too. Her name is Emily, isn't it?"

"Wha– how do you know her name? Have you met her before?"

"Well, no, but my phone buddy has."

"She did? Did she buy ice cream? Did she use a coupon? God, I told Melanie she needed better ideas for deals, but did she listen? Noooooo."

"Dude–"

"And now me and Alex are the ones who have to put our combined muscular effort and general sexiness into making ice cream and attracting customers! I mean, I enjoy being checked out, but it pisses my girlfriend off."

"Anyway, does Emily know about Ret– I mean, your advice?"

"I actually did need a visual checkup. Your girlfriend happened to order ice cream in the same period of time."

"She's not my girlfriend!"

"Yet, my friend. Only the future can tell. Wink wink nudge nudge."

"Oh, shut up."

"No, good sir! But I'll ask Em whether she knows about my advice to you."

"Thank you for your service, Mr Extra Whipped Cream."