Eye Drops (#2)

s l e e p

"They were startling gray, like storm clouds; pretty, but intimidating, too, as if she were analyzing the best way to take me down in a fight." – Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief

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"This is Westerden Optometrist–"

"Sorry for hanging up earlier."

"Oh, Retina, you're back already?"

"Wow, your enthusiasm for my return is truly flattering."

"Fine, I'll make a fuss if that's what you want. Whoooo, Retina's baaaaack! Let's throw a partaaaaaaaaay!"

"I'll get the disco balls!"

"I'll get the confetti!"

"I'll get the delicious Oreo cake!"

"I'll get the refreshments!"

"I'll get the bald Asian monks!"

"I'll– wait, what? Why would you need bald Asian monks at a party?"

"Hey, they may not be able to whip their non-existent hair back and forth, but those dudes can party even harder than people with luscious locks."

"Right. Uh, why did I call you again?"

"I think we were carrying on our conversation from, like, ten seconds ago. Speaking of which, who is this Emily person, anyway?"

"Well, she hangs out at the ice cream store I ordered from, and she gave me some pretty great advice. I wanted to apologise for dumping all my problems on you."

"Wait, I got similar advice from Fle– I mean, uh, a friend."

"Who's Fle? Your girlfriend?"

"What? Who names their kid Fle?"

"I don't know, parents who enjoy speaking in broken syllables?"

"Your mind works in a real-ly weird way."

"What's your point, a-ny-way? Who is Fle and why is she gi-ving you ad-vice?"

"He is not a fe-ma-le!"

"Oh, so you're gay?"

"What?"

"What?"

"I'm not gay! Fle is short for Fletcher."

"Fletcher? Wait, why does that name sound so familiar?"

"Hold on, do you know him?"

"No, I've just heard that name before."

"If it helps, he works at an ice cream store called Waffle Cones. They have insanely good ice cream, based on what I tasted from the sample Fletcher gave me. Who the hell carries ice cream with them? It's pure genius! Oh, and he gave me coupons there too."

"Oh my gosh."

"What do you mean? Would you like me to get you some free ice cream?"

"I just remembered. Emily is Fletcher's girlfriend. That's why his name sounded so familiar."

"What the fu–!"

"Yeah, I agree."

"Holy casanovas."

"Do we have a couple to confront?"

"We definitely have a couple to confront."