Always Remember Us This Way

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The last day before Christmas...the last day I'll be with my man...the man I love...So, let's start from the beginning. I'm Elise and I am diagnosed with FFI. Fatal Familial Insomnia (FFI) is a rare genetic degenerative brain disorder. 

It is characterized by an inability to sleep (insomnia) that may be initially mild, but progressively worsens, leading to significant physical and mental deterioration.

And I only found out about it 3 weeks before Christmas. My fiancé found out about it a week after and immediately brought me to hospital because he knew that I might die soon. 

I know to myself that he loves me, so much that he acts a lot like a mother. I found out about it 3 weeks before my fiancé did and the day when he found out, I already knew he'll break up with me.

"I know you know about my sickness. If you wish to leave me, then please do so. I don't want you to spend your Christmas with a dying person. It'll just be a waste of time" I said as tears started falling from my eyes. 

He looked at me extremely furious and tears started falling from his eyes as well. He clenched his fist and punch the wall. 

"Babe! No please! Don't hurt yourself, please..." I begged as I tried to stop him from harming himself. He stopped punching the wall and faced me. He pulled me by the waist and hugged me tight, never letting me go. He let go of me and pressed his lips on mine and didn't budge even when I gripped his arm signaling him to stop. "

Hmph- mmm..." I grunted. 'He's still not budging' and soon, he finally stopped. He pulled me again for a hug and panted so hard. "D-Did...Did you...l-like it? T-Tell me..." he panted as he brushes my hair with his fingers.

"I love it...but...I love you more than your hugs and kisses" he chuckled at my reply and carried me bridal style. 

He carried me back to our room and tucked me in under the covers and patted my head. 

"What a cute little baby we have here~" he purred and went under the sheets with me. 

"Meow~" I purred. He chuckled at my reaction and nuzzled his head on my neck. 

"Hon...you won't die...right?" my fiancé asked while crying on my neck. 

"I-I...well...I'm not sure with that..." I replied, tears falling from my eyes as I comb his hair, tangling my finger around his beautiful locks. 

"Hon... what about our wedding? It's on New Year...babe...you can't leave me here..." he cried which broke my heart into pieces.

I hate it when I see him cry. I hate it when I see him in pain...because of me... 

"I'm sorry...it's my fault...I should've taken good care of myself more...if only..." I stuttered and turned my back against him. 

"Maybe you should date someone else...find someone who's not me...someone who's healthy...fit...beautiful...intelligent...all I do is make things hard for you..." I cried and covered myself with our soft blanket. 

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. 

"Whatever happens...I won't date anyone else...I'd rather die single than marry someone else who's not you...I can't watch another woman walk down the aisle and meet me at the altar...you'll always be my girl...no one else..." 

I was taken aback by his words and made me cry even more. 

"I'm sorry that I'm not the girl who stays with you for long...I'm sorry..." I turned around and faced him. 

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