kikeba

Sure, I can be quiet at times,
Over the years I've learned how to hold my tongue,
remaining confined. 
"As you get older, you mature" they say,
but sometimes I feel like I've lost my way,
my spark,
my effort to strike play.
I was far from a cliché,
Kiera Baity: goofy, shit talking, sporadic, comedian.
Now through what my conscious tells me, 
what people see is,
Kiera Baity: droopy, shit talking, over dramatic, bohemian.
I liked my old self personality wise, but,
there's some characteristics about my new self that I wouldn't dare disguise.
Like my ability to think before reaction, 
or speaking with a plan of action.
I have more of an ambition for my God given talent,
let alone a logician supporting others in their time of need and satisfaction.
Either way it goes, I've always been different,
I just have a hard time with change,
with rearrange, 
with self blame.
I blame myself sometimes on the wrong that's happened in my life, 
which is why the bad characteristics about my "new self" taints my body with numbness.
The kind of numb that makes you wish you could start over,
start fresh,
as if you could re-grow your on flesh.
But I'm not the only one with this problem, 
I can't be.
Just like how Beyoncé is far from flawless,
the essence of dropping to my knees,
always seems to fulfill my adolescence.