Stalkers get your pens and paper out; I'm about to spill.

Interviewer: *clears throat* So, person who refuses to tell us her name, what is your favourite book of all time?

Me: You idiot, you just gave away my gender. And my favourite book or books in my case is The Mortal Instrument Series, The Finding Sky Series, Everything Everything, A Street Cat Names Bob, The Slated Series, Red Queen, Broken Butterflies, Red Moon, Th-

Int: Shut up, they're getting bored now and so am I. Do you want them to keep scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling-

Me: OK. That's enough. I think they get it. Plus I paid you to do this so stop complaining.

Int: Technically I'm just a random guy you found on the street who you gave a Mars bar to do this for you.

Me: Technicalities. Next question.

Int: *rolls eyes* What are you terrible at?

Me: *glares at interviewer* That wasn't one of the questions I wrote down for you. In fact, throughout this whole session, you've barely followed the script at all.

Int: I know. I just really want to find out what you're bad at so I can rub it in later.

Me: You know what? Fine. I suck at Math and Science and all things logical. I mean in Chemistry in an experiment I completely disobeyed the instructions to try and turn the chemical a pretty shade of purple for goodness sake! I blew it up!

Int: Um, okay. You can calm down now and put the table lamp down. What are you good at?

Me: Not much.

Int: Yay, the last question. What's your favourite book on Wattpad?

Me: I have a few: Illegal my ass, Soulmate, I sold myself to the devil for vinyls, The bad boy stole my bra, Snow Owl, The Bad Boy's girl, The Cellphone Swap, F.A.I.T.H, Lupus Deus, Cinderelliot and loads of other ones so go read them. Now. Like, seriously

Int: One last question.

Me: You said that was the last question.

Int: Can I use your bathroom?

Me: Get out of my house.
In the wise words of tigger: TTFN
  • Land Of Sarcasm
  • JoinedApril 2, 2015

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alluringlytragic alluringlytragic Jul 16, 2018 08:57AM
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