Look at you. 

Look at yourself. 

Looking at my profile. 

What, you want to know about me? Interested in whoever's tapping away at the keys behind that kinky Jurassic World story you peeked at?

Aht aht, don't clear your browser history now. Gotcha in 4K HD Retina LED. Ya deviant. But that's okay. Your affection for dinosaurs with a lack of personal boundaries? Your secret's safe with me.

Are you still reading this?

What do you want? My phone number? Address? Bra size?

"Wait, I thought this was a guy?"

Maybe I'm not. Maybe I am. Maybe I like to dress up. Maybe the feel of 95% Polyester, 5% Spandex panties from Lane Bryant/Cacique makes me feel extra special. Extra *motivated.*

You're still reading.

Well, stop. Stop looking. I need to get dressed for work. Cab fare is on the table.

...

I'll text you later. I had fun. I guess we could do something again this weekend.