I see myself as a bit of a genius. A demigod walking amongst men, if you will. Although I must say I am a habitual liar, tell-tale and most untrustworthy at best.  

I have all the morals of a drunk alley cat, and all the sense of a stunned Angus cow. I can only write while dressed in a party hat, and nothing else. I also have a trumpet, which I blow three times to signal to my family that I am finished. Apparently they say writing in this way is 'not normal.' Hmmm, what is?

I live in England, and have a big moustache, which I have to wax every day. I sleep with a basket on my head to protect it, as it is my pride and joy. I also have a hat.

I have a dog, it's a Great Dane. I call it Dogs Name. It amuses me because of the conversations I have with other dog walkers.

Them. "Oh, hello. Lovely animal you have there. What's your dog's name?
Me. "Dogs Name."
Them. "Yes your dog's name."
Me. "Dogs Name."

Then they walk off muttering about me being crazy. Oh how I laugh in the quiet times with my feet up against the fire, which I have filled with orange jelly and Christmas lights.

I have shoes, two lefts and one right, due to the fact that my left foot is heavier than my right. Oh yes, I own a coat. I do not like muesli.

If you ask me directly I will neither confirm nor deny anything I have written above.

I have co-written another story and its here (It has been featured!) :- http://www.wattpad.com/story/17381304-blink

& Here! For our second book

I hope you have as much fun reading it as we have writing it!!

All the best to you, my fellow readers and writers.

  • JoinedApril 10, 2014

Last Message
Cashjo Cashjo Dec 16, 2017 11:40AM
It feels good to be writing again.
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Story by Steve
The Slaughterhouse by Cashjo
The Slaughterhouse
When Charlie O'Malley winds up dead on the farm, events turn in an unexpected direction for Augustus Bloat.
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