There's a special kind of human being that lives on this Earth; not truly a fangirl, but not truly a "normal" human, either. They exist in a limbo between the two, fluctuating between normal (very rarely, however) and completely batsh*t insane (they spend most of their time here).

It appears you have stumbled across one of them on your journey through the internet.

This particular one, a female homosexual™ fantasy/fanfiction author that goes by the name of Ashburn Firestone or A. Firestone, enjoys many of the wonders of the internet, but most particularly writing on a website developed in Canada called Wattpad, which is where you have located her (presumably). She has a habit of laughing maniacally and causing your tear ducts to open like floodgates.
Even now, she sits and thinks of the most heart-wrenching plot twists to add to her books because, in her words, "your tears sustain me".

She claims to be the "Meme mother" of another one of these strange humans that goes by the name of @panicatmitosis (who frequently screams "FEEL MY PEW PEW BITCH" at the top of her lungs).

I can see it in your eyes. "It was a mistake to come here," you think to yourself. You cannot physically handle the amount of gayness radiating from her words. And yet it may already be too late.

If you haven't been ensnared by her words or her unending sarcasm and already hearing the shouts of "WHERE ARE MY GLASSES?!" ringing through your ears, then I have a single word for you:

Run.
  • The Throne of Hell
  • JoinedJuly 1, 2015


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Ashburn1198 Ashburn1198 Feb 03, 2019 04:24AM
“SPILL THE TEA! SPILL THE TEA! SPILL THE TEA!”— an audience of high school drama nerds about to learn my character’s (really) tragic backstory on a game show “I’M SISTER SHOOK.”— one of said high...
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