Danceing On The Line

Danceing On The Line

2.8K Reads 112 Votes 27 Part Story
Amanda By MoonOnTheMoor Updated Aug 11, 2013

Who are you when everything about you is a lie?
What do you say to the people you see everyday, and lie to?
What do you do when you have nothing to lose?
How do you look in the mirror each morning..........and hate the person you see in it?
        
         Naomi Valentine asks herself these questions everyday as she lives the lie her mother laid out for her. As she fakes the air of a spoiled rich girl, a Queen Bee, and a up class citizen, a role that has been played by the Valentine women for three generations, she comes to hate herself and what she's become. While at home she is a mother to her younger siblings, and Barbie doll for her mothers dream of a fashion model. A dream Naomi has to fit. 
By a chance of grace though this will all change with a simple dance, and a boy who wishes to expose the real Naomi to the world.
         When life is hell you learn not to sweat things. But when you're jumped in to a life you never wanted and forced to stay to keep what's left of your family alive all you can do is sweat and burn. Especially when the girl you can't, and didn't, want to fall for is the "Queen" of the school. And a huge liar. Can Aaron get through to Naomi before it's to late to stop the madness of her life while he wares the scares and ink of the NSL and plays in the jungles of New York City? Or is it to late for either of them to be real with the world they come from?

In the end will either of them face the truth of their lives or is love not strong enough to fight the streets of New York?

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jkstoryaddict jkstoryaddict Jul 16, 2013
so, if the spelling is cleaned up I could focus on the story and other issues more.... sorry but my inner grammar nazi is threatening to explode.... otherwise I'd really love to read on but it's driving me nuts!!!
PenofaPhoenix PenofaPhoenix Jul 15, 2013
I really want to give this story a chance-- I do. But the spelling errors and grammatical errors really do severely detract from the story quality as well as the story line. If you could do some editing and clean it up, I'll be over here in a heartbeat reading it again. :)
lalalala1999 lalalala1999 Jul 12, 2013
Awesome start! I can't wait to read more. Only problem is the spelling mistakes, but besides that it is really good. :)
Sweet_Brown1095 Sweet_Brown1095 Jun 29, 2013
I really like Grant's character! haha
                              Quite funny at parts!
                              I am intrigued to see where this story goes!
HIndia150 HIndia150 Jun 11, 2013
Awww. So cute. I love the story line. It's beautiful and refreshing. 
                              
                              Thank you so much for mentioning me in your sweet message. Your courage comes from your confidence in your writing. Trust me, I haven't done anything. *Hugs*