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Pen Your Pride


52.1K Reads 2.6K Votes 33 Part Story
Meg By megswriting Updated Jun 14

"Great heroes need great sorrows and burdens, or half their greatness goes unnoticed. It is all part of the fairy tale." -Peter S. Beagle

Cover credit to @Silver_Chick

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Yes, this actually explains a part of the character. She second guesses herself and if she makes the right choice. Sometimes a fresh fear is good for you.
Always great to have a character with snark and a bit negativity towards main character.
Great way to introduce her. I like it.
                              -And just so you know this isn't sarcastic. I truly mean what I say.
Showing the safer way yet reckless danger is a good way to start off a character in self reflection.
FulcrumSage FulcrumSage May 10
The beginning is a bit confusing with the “silence” describing the “fog” becoming the fog. You could try something like, “The thick and heavy fog crept silently through the forest; eerily opaque, its ominous form blanketed everything in its grasp.” Hope this helps. : )
gmoney2123 gmoney2123 Apr 20, 2017
Would drop the repeated on the way to headquarters and merge this sentence with the previous one