Fragile

Fragile

17.2K Reads 910 Votes 52 Part Story
Jayleen :) ❤ By mysteriousgirl_Jay Completed

Allison Chase. You'd think she was a normal 16 year old. 
But she's far  from normal. 
She has an alcoholic and abusive father who does every cruel thing possible to her. He is the reason her mother died and she is bullied.  Her father doesn't allow her to have any friends. 
But when she meets Jamie Bell - her new next door nieghbor - they become best friends. Can Jamie fix up the broken and fragile girl?
*Read on to find out
Cover by @Ayoko_K
Completed: 6/27/16
Editing (✔)

TheBookCritic_ TheBookCritic_ Aug 29, 2016
In the second to last sentence, change "her" to "she". 
                              
                              ...she giggled and waved as she, her boy toy, and her clique walked away.
kerv500 kerv500 Dec 01, 2016
If the dude killed, why isn't he in prison and dropping the soa- nevermind.
TheBookCritic_ TheBookCritic_ Aug 29, 2016
Great chapter, it gives a lot of insight into the minds of the kids who talk back to the teacher and who don't care.
TheBookCritic_ TheBookCritic_ Aug 29, 2016
The first thing I notice is that the paragraph is really long. Try breaking it up into smaller sections with breaks between each paragraph. This will encourage more comments and be less intimidating 😉
letsstartawar letsstartawar Dec 21, 2016
idk I feel like a teacher or someone would have noticed her being basically 'abused' by her fellow peers. I know this book is already completed but I feel that this goes a bit too fast. I like fast-paced books. But not too fast :v
TheBookCritic_ TheBookCritic_ Aug 29, 2016
Make sure that with dialogue, you use commas by the quotation marks instead of periods. 
                              "Such a disgrace to this family," he yelled, punching me and slamming me to the ground.
                              "...before I drag you upstairs," he threatens. Etc, etc. 😊