Fragile

Fragile

96.8K Reads 3.2K Votes 53 Part Story
Jayleen :) ❤ By weirdteenagerrr Completed

Allison Chase. You'd think she was a normal 16 year old. 
But she's far  from normal. 
She has an alcoholic and abusive father who does every cruel thing possible to her. He is the reason her mother died and she is bullied.  Her father doesn't allow her to have any friends. 
But when she meets Jamie Bell - her new next door nieghbor - they become best friends. Can Jamie fix up the broken and fragile girl?
*Read on to find out
Cover by @Ayoko_K
Completed: 6/27/16
Editing (✔)

  • abuse
  • broken
  • fiction
  • generalfiction
  • toughlove
Brittany you idiot you can't be a slut of you haven't even kissed someone
lolasaphire16 lolasaphire16 Sep 17, 2017
I'd have said "How can I be a slut if I've never even kissed anyone?"
TheBookCritic_ TheBookCritic_ Aug 29, 2016
In the second to last sentence, change "her" to "she". 
                              
                              ...she giggled and waved as she, her boy toy, and her clique walked away.
TheBookCritic_ TheBookCritic_ Aug 29, 2016
The first thing I notice is that the paragraph is really long. Try breaking it up into smaller sections with breaks between each paragraph. This will encourage more comments and be less intimidating 😉
TheBookCritic_ TheBookCritic_ Aug 29, 2016
Make sure that with dialogue, you use commas by the quotation marks instead of periods. 
                              "Such a disgrace to this family," he yelled, punching me and slamming me to the ground.
                              "...before I drag you upstairs," he threatens. Etc, etc. 😊
__only1autumn __only1autumn Jul 31, 2016
If she never kissed a guy how is she a slut? Yoo Alison let me at her👊😂