Alastor, self-proclaimed radio aficionado and aspiring serial killer in the making, is captured by a demon-worshipping cult. And while that wouldn't be so bad in and of itself, the demon in-question is...rather peculiar. --- Vox is quite perturbed when his latest victim offers him tips on how to best prepare himself for a meal. And for some reason, this human really hates cilantro. This is also available to read on AO3. Unlike my main story, 'Knife Through the Heart,' this fic contains far more suggestive content between Alastor & Vox. The best way to describe this story would be 'quickburn idiots to queer platonic husbands.'