A perception denied. Nobody ask me if I am still coping up nobody dared to look at me, it made me wonder do I look fine? I am not. I can't talk to anyone to spout my feelings it will be a waste a burden perhaps added to my listeners. I wasn't mute or voiceless I am simply scared to be uncovered unprepared in my state where everything I worked so hard for is at sake for the another heart beat I feel inside me. I thought nothing I keep thinking I reach nothing I plan I see nothing is it my downfall? I was broken and driven a cruel soul must have taken advantage of my inferiority at the moment worst I was awake to never fight of the strength that caress my desire for comfort. Much of my dismay I stand infront of a speechless person longing for his answer that later on would turn my world upside down, yes we were both at fault I admit we both wanted what happened in hope we felt the same l, much later of the story is so unfortunate of uncovering the hidden, I was completely betrayed and dupe with seemingly sincere service of protection and authority. May the lightning strike me and end this suffering of humiliation caused of this foolishness. I was intelligent I know ! But my goodness what kind of disgrace I am into? How in the world I end up so low? How did I stoop this low? I am in fact crawling in this mud of embarrassing part of life. Far beyond my reach is the light I have always foresee for me, my family and my future and yet I have move any further and the light is fading day by day as this heartbeat inside me starts to live and beat faster and bigger making me decide for the first time to turn back and rest a little in the serene of the most perfect afternoon. May the flood of conscience drown me for causing so much pain to the man I will always remind myself that no one else will love me more than he can. The man I risk for the freedom I wanted to taste ye, it tasted long lasting of bitterness not I'm my tongue but in my life to be brutally honest