Chapater's songs: Life's a Mess - Juice WRLD
Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again - The Phantom of the Opera
Angelica took a deep breath before getting inside the theater. It would be her first rehearsal at the actual place the play would be performed in. After the fiasco with the soccer team making her fall into the mud and losing her script, the director gave his copy to her so she could keep on rehearsing.
She was quite nervous about that day, but her excitement still could flood the whole place. As soon as she started to perform, she allowed her heart to pour out in the scenes, showing every emotion she thought would fit Juliet, and was even being praised by the director himself, which made her fill up with pride.
"Alright!" The director called the actors attention after some hours of rehearsal, "Let's go with Romeo and Benvolio getting the invitation to the party now! Ladies, if you may stay at the side of the stage while we go through this, please?"
The few women from the cast headed to the side of the stage, some silently reread the script while others gossiped around and giggled in silence. Whenever Angelica tried to approach a group to chat, she friendly smiled at them but was quickly pushed aside. She soon realized that wouldn't make any progress with those girls and went after some water to drink.
"Did you hear?" Angelica heard a girl say and got curious, sneaking closer to listen without them noticing her, "... She only got the leading part because her father asked them to give it to her."
"No way, for real?!" The other whispered back, "Well... Actually, I can believe that. She isn't even that good to get a leading part, especially in her first casting call. And for Juliet! I should have noticed that sooner."
"I know, right? I practiced for months to get that role, and then arrives this untalented daddy's girl and steals it without even-"
"Psshh, here she comes." The other shushed her friend and they quickly left to the dressing room. Leaving the girl standing shocked in her spot, the information she just heard still sinking in. Angelica stared at nothing as her lips slightly parted in disbelief her father could have done such a thing.
She compressed her lips tightly and frowned when an uninvited rage started to boil inside of her, she closed her hands in fists, kneading part of the script she was holding, before throwing the papers to the ground and storming out of the theater without thinking twice.
...
The younger Hamilton's were spending the nice Saturday afternoon at the big living room of their home, AJ, and James teaching John how to play cards for the first time while Will played with his toys at the side.
"And then when you see a card with this symbol you can-" AJ was interrupted with a loud bang from the front door being slammed shut and all of them jumped.
"DAAAD!" Angelica yelled.
The brothers widened their eyes and stared at each other before James mouthed, "Monster Angie", as they heard her firm steps marching towards them until she stood at the room's doorway.
"Where is dad?" She stated angrily and Will shrugs, trying to get smaller than the little boy already was. By the simple detail of her not calling him "daddy", her brothers knew it was serious, and that the wrong move would make her explode at them. When nobody answered, she shouted again, "I ASKED, HVOR ER HAN?!" ("WHERE IS HE?!")
John fastly pointed to the ceiling and said, "His office!"
Angelica turned on her heels and stormed upstairs as her brothers sighed, already preparing themselves for what was about to happen next. Their sister was the sweetest person any of they had ever known, she was rarely stressed or yelled at someone, she was a true ray of sunshine. However, when she got angry it would blurry her judgment and make her act impulsively towards the matter that made her feel that in the first place.
The people who were close to her knew that it wasn't a clever idea to play around when she was in such a state, especially when the "Danish phase" was up. Their father spoke a few other languages, and Danish was one of them. While all the other siblings had only learned French with their mother, Angelica also wanted to learn Danish for some reason, and so she did. Her brothers absolutely hated it, because she and their father would have secret conversations that none of them understood, thing that only seemed to bring them closer than they already were.
Eliza walked out of a room with baby Lizzy in her arms at the sound of the commotion downstairs and found her older daughter walking past her, "Angelica, what's got into you-"
"DAD!" The girl called for her father.
The man was at his office in an important meeting with both Jefferson and Lafayette, sitting at the armchairs on the opposite side of the table; when they started to hear the shouting. Alexander stood up and was halfway to reach the door when it was suddenly open.
He looked at his daughter in shock by her attitude and then murmured, "Angelica, what-"
"You really did that?" She sharply asked and Alexander narrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "The casting call. Did you?"
Alexander quickly looked at the men sitting behind them by the corner of his eye before he said quietly, "Angie, why don't we talk about this later? I'm in the middle of-"
"Gjorde du?" She repeated her question through clenched teeth, completely ignoring his statement with tears forming in her eyes.
He sighed before replying with sorrow, "Yes..."
"Why?" She asks already feeling her throat closing from the will to cry.
"Because you wanted that part so much, Angel. And I wanted you to get it," He says with honesty, walking closer to his daughter, "So when I heard they were indecisive between you and another girl I-"
"You cheated." She accused him.
"If you want to put it that way..." He looks away for a moment before looking back at her. Jefferson facepalmed at the statement and Lafayette quietly hissed, well aware his friend did the wrong decision by saying that.
"You- You don't think I am good enough?" The girl's voice cracked.
"I didn't say that, no, no, sweetie. I think you're incredible!" He reassures her with wide eyes as he caresses her arms, "I just wanted to be sure you would get in."
Her mouth twisted as she was doing her best to control the tears, "But... That's not fair. I didn't get the part for my talent, it was because- Because YOU ASKED IT!" She stepped back, and he sighed loudly when she did so.
"Angelica..." He calmly says her name but she ignores him, turning her back at him, "Angelica, come back here." He calls for her again as she storms out of the room and slammed the door, "ANGELICA!" He opened the door and said irritatedly, "KOM TILBAGE HER LIGE I DETTE ØJEBLIK" ("COME BACK HERE RIGHT IN THIS MOMENT!")
They managed to hear her shout at last, "HVORFOR FÅR DU IKKE NÅGON GØR DET FOR DIG?! DU ER GOD TIL AT GIVE ORDRER TIL AT STYRE MIT LIV OG HUSKE MIG, AT JEG IKKE GØR NOGET RIGTIGT PÅ MIN EGEN!" ("WHY DON'T YOU MAKE SOMEONE DO THAT FOR YOU?! YOU'RE GOOD IN GIVING ORDERS TO CONTROL MY LIFE AND REMIND ME THAT I DO NOTHING RIGHT ON MY OWN!")
Alexander closed the door with an irritated huff and the room was left in awkward silence until Thomas broke it, "Wow." Alexander exhaled, already preparing himself to deal with whatever his brother-in-law was about to say. "That was quite a show, uh? You should write a new pamphlet, Hamilton! How to infuriate your daughter in 3 easy steps! Lie to her, cheat on her name, and reveal it all on her face in the most indelicate way possible!"
"As if you never messed up with yours," Alexander sharply replied as he sat back at his seat and buried his face into his hands.
"Yeah, but not that much," Thomas chuckled, "Trust me, if Mary had already been so mad at me, I would be dead."
"Then please do us all a favor and infuriate her already," Alex replied still covering his face.
"Mon ami, you have to fix this." Lafayette said, "I don't know what happened, but seems like you upset her really bad. I've never seen Angelica act that way before."
"Well, me neither." Alex murmured, "Not with me at least... She never got mad at me before..."
"We all know that kid adores you, I don't understand why but anyway-" Thomas spoke and Alexander sent him a death glare as the tall man stood up, "Make it up to her, Hamilton." He grabbed his papers and looked at Alexander, "I mean it."
...
Angelica grumbled angrily at herself as she walked in the streets, kicking every small rock or stick she would find along the way to try to ease her anger. She mindlessly ended up reaching the park and groaned one last time before kicking a rock into the lake ahead of her. With a loud sigh, she stood looking at the water as she finally started to calm down.
"Angelica?" She turned around and the boy behind her sheepishly smiled at her, "I was, uhm... In fact, looking for you."
"Oh, hello Matthew," She greeted him kindly and then scratched the back of her neck, "Today is not quite being a good day, but it's so good to see you now and talk about something else."
"Yeah," He chuckled nervously, "I wanted to talk about the ball-"
"Oh, I am so excited for it!" She interrupted him with a bright smile and started to babble, "I know we are kind of early to already be talking about it, I mean, it will only happen in a month and a half, but I was so happy when you asked to be my partner. I think it will be amazing!"
Matthew kept his tremulous smile as she spoke and hesitated for a moment before speaking up, "Angelica, I can't take you to the ball."
That phrase immediately sucked all of Angelica's excitement and her expression crushed the boy's heart at the sight, "What...? Why?"
"Well, you see... It's nothing personal, Angelica. It truly isn't. My family arranged a commitment for me and it wouldn't be right to take another girl to the ball instead of the one I'm supposed to be courting. Do you... Understand that?"
"Yeah... Yeah, of course I understand," She suddenly put her sorrow aside and smiled at him with a slight shake of her head. "Well, I hope you two have a happy marriage! You're a really great guy, Matthew."
"Thank you, Angelica. I hope the same for you," He smiled apologetically at her before saying goodbye and walking away.
Angelica stood in place watching him go, still with her plain smile on her face. She waved at him and widened her smile when he turned to look, but once he was gone for good, her happy expression faded and she then numbly sat at a nearby bench. The weight of the argument she had with her father, the girl's gossip, Matthew dumping her... It all began to slowly sink in and be too much until she sobbed and covered her face with her hands as she allowed the tears to fall.
...
Simon was calmly laying at Violetta's arms as she walked down the street, his tail waving side to side as she made her way towards the park to work on the sash she had been embroidering to Susan, using the free time she now had available once she wouldn't go to the poor house that day. Chris had been accompanying her the last couple of weeks and was extremely confused at why she suddenly decided not to go this time.
"Don't look at me like that," She complained at the cat, who seemed to be judging her only by his eyes. "Todd was right, ok? I was overloaded, and needed a break." Simon simply blinked at her, "I am going back next week, it's not like I abandoned Chris on his own. It's only for today, the house won't burn out just because I'm not there......... Right?" She asked nervously but Simon didn't answer. "Oh God, maybe this was a bad idea... I think I still can take the latest shift if I-"
She looked away from the cat just in time to see John Todd smiling at her further ahead, walking towards her. Violetta waved back and Simon's fur stood on end, staring intensely at the man approaching his owner.
"Violetta, didn't expect to see you here by this time of the day," Todd said with a satisfied smile.
"Yeah," She chuckled nervously, "I thought about what you said to me last time and decided to take the day to myself today... But I was second thinking it, I really should be there right now. It doesn't feel right and-"
"Don't worry about it, dear," Todd said staring into her eyes, "You're taking the day to yourself, that's a good thing."
"But I'm putting my responsibilities aside," She said, visibly troubled by her decision.
"Other people can do it, you're not unreplaceable. They have dozens of other volunteers to do the job," Todd shrug and Violetta looked at him with hurt in her eyes, "But you know that for me you're the one and only Violetta... The light to my darkness." He reached to touch her flustered cheek but Simon quickly attacked, biting and clawing his hand so violently that drew some blood out.
"AaaAW!!" Todd screeched, pushing Simon's head back with his free hand to be able to pull the other out.
"Hey!" Violetta widened her eyes and recoiled her arms away from Todd, so Simon couldn't reach him again. "Sorry, he never did this kind of thing before."
"It's alright," Todd groaned as he shook his hand that still ached, his face slightly twisted in a grimace as Violetta looked worriedly at him but stood silent. "I was actually going to ask you out today. It can still happen if this furball isn't involved, are you busy, dear?"
"I'm actually going to work on something so... Yeah." She responded avoiding his gaze.
Todd sent a disgusted look towards Simon, who stared back attentively, before he shot Violetta a smile, "Alright. See you soon then, dear."
The girl continued her path noticing that Todd took the opposite way, and once inside the park, she quickly found a bench and placed Simon beside her, then pulled the sash and the needle out of her bag and began to work. She silently continued to embroider until Simon perked his head up and jumped from the bench, walking away and not waiting for Violetta.
"Simon, wait where you going?!" She called and quickly shoved everything back into the bag to run after the cat. He led her into an area with more trees and she loses track of him for a moment before hearing someone's voice.
"You are kind of disturbing me here kitty, get off."
Violetta brushed her bangs away from her eyes and pecked her head from behind a tree, sighting Mary Jefferson sitting on the grass, a journal open in her lap with a couple of pages full of notes and schemes scattered around her. Simon had jumped over the journal and practically forced the girl to pet him instead of doing whatever she was doing previously.
Mary had the feeling that was being watched and lifted her head, to which Violetta didn't even think in hiding and simply waved sheepishly by being caught.
"What are you doing here?" Mary sharply asked pushing the cat away from her lap and frantically grabbing the papers, which Violetta crouched down to help.
"I'm so sorry, I was just after Simon, he... What's all this..?" She asked holding a piece of paper, looking at it confusedly as she tried to make sense of the formulas and notes she didn't understand, but it was quickly snapped out of her hands.
"None of your business." Mary sharply stated.
Violetta nervously picked on a strand of hair and started to fidget with it, "I'm sorry... I didn't know it was private-"
"Well, it is."
"Sorry..."
"Can you please stop apologizing for everything?! It is getting me on my nerves," Mary said tossing her hair back and sitting back at her spot.
"Sor-" The blonde was just about to apologize again but shut her mouth when Mary gave her a cold stare. She looked down and sheepishly spoke, "I was just curious... I've never seen anything close to that. I didn't mean to intrude anything..."
Mary snarled before turning her head at Violetta, speaking in a cold tone, "Look. I don't know what you think you saw, but it was nothing important. I gotta go now."
"If it wasn't important then why are you being so rude about it?" Violetta froze upon hearing what had come out of her mouth and covered her lips with her fingers, "Pardon me, I didn't mean-!"
"No. You already said it." Violetta expected Mary to sound angered by what she said, but she in fact sounded rather interested and cocked an eyebrow, "Huh. So you actually can speak up your mind. Never thought Seabury kids could do that."
Violetta blushed at the comment and stuttered, not knowing how to respond to that, "I-I... It's nothing like that!"
"Oh really?" Mary crossed her arms amusedly, "Then you are not daddy's girl who follows whatever he orders without complaints? All based on the bible, of course."
That statement made the girl offer an uncomfortable smile and recoil in embarrassment, sitting down with her back against a tree opposite from where Mary was. They stood in pure silence as they eventually picked their items and continued to work on their individual projects, Simon sleeping soundlessly beside Violetta.
"I'm sorry if I was too meddlesome... I really didn't intend to." Violetta murmured and Mary huffed at her overuse of apologies, but Violetta continued even if unsure at how to express herself, "It's just that... I hate when people... When I feel like they are living in a cage but don't see it. I have an urge to help, it's stronger than me... Even if it sounds cheesy," She chuckled and sheepishly looked up at Mary.
Mary hesitated while looking down at her journal, "Well... Sometimes the cage is better than the judgment from others."
Violetta tilted her head, "But... Who even are people to judge you? We are all imperfect and flawed beings. If you enjoy what you're doing and it doesn't harm anyone else... Why care about any of that exterior judgment?"
"You really are something else, girl," Mary said with a shake of her head, looking up at Violetta with an intrigued glance before she returned to speak louder, "People aren't exactly like God if you didn't notice already. They can be worse than Satan in fact."
Violetta held in her breath by the use of the name of the devil itself and remained silent for a moment more, thinking about what to say next, "Well... In that case... I, uhm... Can't do anything else than say... I can be by your side when you are ready if you want to."
Mary scoffed and both returned to what they were doing.
"Thanks though." Mary casually said, not even lifting her gaze from what she was writing, "It was nice of you to say."
Violetta smiled, that being the closest Mary ever got to be nice to her.
"And look," She continued, now lifting her face to look straight at Violetta's blue eyes, the girl suddenly growing nervous about what it was about, "Just a piece of advice. Whatever it is you and Todd have going on, I highly recommend you to end it. He's no good deal to anyone, and you won't be an exception. Stay away from him before it's too late to get out. And I really recommend you to not ignore what I'm saying right now."
The blonde girl was speechless and hesitated, but nodded either way before quickly returning to her embroidery, her hand shaking a bit by Mary's intense stare even if a few feet away from her.
"Why are you trying to finish this up so fast anyway?" Mary rolled her eyes as she returned to her own journal.
"Oh... It's because it is meant to be a birthday gift for Susan." Violetta sheepishly said.
Mary snickered, "It's not even that close to needing to rush."
"Well, indeed it is just a month from now... But I don't have much time to work on it because I barely have any free time, so I thought of maybe giving it to her beforehand. Better sooner than later," Violetta chuckled and Mary stopped her movements, narrowing her eyebrows as if something didn't settle right.
"What day is today?" She bluntly asked.
"Ahm... It's May 18th," Violetta answered.
"Shit!" Mary hissed before shoving her things inside her bag and running in the direction Violetta came from, but stopped and returned a couple of steps to look down at the girl and state, "And I mean it. Don't tell anyone what you saw today."
Violetta simply nodded and Mary took it for granted before sprinting away, leaving the girl completely confused behind.
...
Georges was already late. It was almost sundown, and so he decided to take the shortcut through the park to reach the Burr's house faster. He almost didn't notice the girl dressed in pink crying her eyes out at the bench he just dashed by, but stopped abruptly when his brain told him it could be Angelica and he returned, quickly realizing it indeed was her.
He furrowed his eyebrows, confused at the reason why Angelica would be crying, "Angie?" He called and she lifted her head with a surprised gasp, her wide watery eyes meeting his, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, everything is fine," She brushed it off with a wave of her hand as he sat beside her, "I'm just being Angie, ya know? Dramatic as usual," She joked and chuckled, using her hands to wipe away the tears with a smile. For a second her performance indeed fooled Georges with the way she brushed the tears away so casually, but he knew better than that.
"Angie, what really happened to upset you?" Georges asked sitting beside her. She looked at him with a hint of sadness masked by a confused expression.
"I already told you silly, I was just practicing my... Theatrical tears," She chuckled, quickly coming with an excuse.
He sighed still looking at her but nodded, "Okay... You don't want to talk about it. It's ok, you don't have to. Let's just-"
"It was my dad," She interrupted him before he could stand up. "And the play... And Matthew too... Today was a crappy day..." She murmured, her head resting in her palm as she leaned her weight at the elbow against her tight, and soon she began to ramble, "Actually I'm now guessing it's just not a good week for me at all. First, the mud thing. Then Philip and you got in big trouble, gosh he will never hear the end of it from ma, she's really really mad at him. At you too but just a little bit, she knows Pip convinced you because you would never do such a thing on your own. And it all happened in just a week, but seriously today won the whole freaking cake!"
"Hold on, hold on, explain what happened today," He said before she could talk any longer. She sighed and calmed herself down before telling him the events from earlier that day.
"And then just to complete the whole misery," She said with a brittle voice, "Matthew had to ditch me for another girl. I thought he liked me but now he tells me that is courting this other girl? I mean, he seemed to have loved me but their parents arranged the whole thing... That's just not fair, Georges! What does she has that I don't? Why my father had to-to buy my entrance in the cast, are the other girls that much more talented than I am? That much more beautiful than I am? That I couldn't do it on my own? I can achieve things on my own! I mean... I can, right?"
She asked with more tears in her eyes. Georges had his lips parted in shock and quickly answered, "Of course you can, Angie. And you don't have to compare yourself, you're great. You're amazing! And honestly, it is Matthew's loss if he won't be taking you the ball anymore."
"Is it really?" She questioned with a sniff, looking away. "Because I don't feel like it..."
"What if we go together then?" He spoke before he could lose his opportunity again. That was the perfect timing, and this time nothing would interrupt.
"You would do that?" She looked at him with uncertainty before grumbling and averting her gaze, "You don't have to do it just for pity. It's not like I would die because I lost my first ball or anything..."
"Angie, I swear it's not for pity," Georges chuckled and took her hand to call for her attention, "Just as you said, it will be your first ball. And I want it to be amazing for you."
She saw the truth in his eyes and chuckled, finally smiling at him and softly said, "Thanks, Georges."
"I actually already wanted to have invited you," He chuckled again, the distance between them decreasing with his body slowly leaning towards her even without his knowledge. The butterflies in Angelica's stomach returned after so long when she caught herself shifting her gaze from his shiny brown eyes to his lips. The last time she had such a sensation was the day Georges and she danced in the rain. "Angie..."
"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?! WE WERE SUPPO- Ahm, do I interrupt?" Mary shouted in shock when sighted them but quickly switched emotions when took knowledge of what was happening and the grin on her face made Georges lean back, flushing deep red and staring at Mary visibly annoyed, which she just shrugged, now aware of what she interrupted.
"Oh, we were just chatting a bit," Angelica chuckled lightly, her cheeks with a hint of pink.
"You guys were chatting?" Mary teased and crossed her arms.
"Yes, Mary. We were chatting. Why?" Georges said.
"Just curious why you two would be chatting and wasting time today." She began speaking with a teasing tone but switched to be almost angry with them by the end, and both Georges and Angelica realized what they had forgotten, "We are late."
With a simple motion of her head, they stood up and the three rushed away.
...
The sun was almost setting, they were clearly late, but Stephan still waited impatiently outside his house. Frances told him to wait just a moment more for her to be ready, but he was too nervous about what was to come to stay in a single place, so he soon found himself walking to the corner of the sidewalk and heading back.
A man called out but he ignored it, sure it wasn't something to do with him once he didn't use his name.
"Excuse me, sire!" The man put his hand on Stephan's shoulders, which made the boy look back weirded out with widened eyes. "I don't mean to disturb but... Aren't you that inventor of the electric bomb circuit?"
Stephan felt his mouth suddenly go dry as his eyes widened more if even possible. His lips parted but no sound came from his mouth by the shock caused by the man smiling at him with excitement, "I'm sure it is you! Mister Lemmings, I've been looking for you since the New Jersey's fair to ask a couple of questions to the paper I work at the West coat. People will be absolutely thrilled with details about your invention! I've never seen anything like that before, nobody did! It really is-"
"STEPHAN! I'm ready, brobro! Come on, we gotta goooo!" Frances shouted from the house entrance but he didn't turn around to check, he was frozen in place staring at the man.
"Stephan?" The man repeated confused, noticing Frances was talking about him, "Aren't you Rudolph Lemmings, sire? I-"
"Come on!" Frances hissed stressed out, grabbing Stephan's arm and dragging him away, finally pulling him back into functioning, but on the inside, he felt like he was about to explode any second now.
...
"... Hey there mom." Theodosia sadly smiled as she placed the white bouquet beside her father's red roses. He liked to visit his wife on that date when the sun was at its higher spot in the sky, while Theo always preferred to go and watch the sunset.
The girl sat on her knees beside her mother's tomb and exhaled loudly with closed eyes, placing a hand at the stone and claiming forces to do that once again.
"So much happened since last year," She chuckled at herself. "But how are things going? Hope you're still looking for me, mom... I really wish you were here right now..." She whispered, opening her eyes blurred with tears as she compressed her lips. "Well, first things first... Maria is pregnant. Big surprise, I know, none of us expected that," She chuckled. "And... She told me that will keep her promise to you. You are the baby's godmother, mom."
A decade ago, when Maria and Susan escaped from their abusive house and found refugee with the Lafayette's, the only layer who accept to help and defend her divorce case was Aaron Burr. The first couple of times they had meetings at his office, Maria refused to stay alone with him and would beg Theodosia Sr. to accompany the meetings, scared of how she would feel when thinking about letting the Maria Reynolds alone with her husband. Soon, Theodosia became the first woman Maria would call a friend in her life.
Susan and Theo Jr. would play with their dolls while they had those meetings, and that's how they became close friends so fast. Susan had troubles with socializing, never before having interacted with anyone other than her mother and father, and so it was thanks to her friendship with Theodosia that she built up enough confidence to start opening up to her future step-brother, Georges.
"Oh, and Miss Jefferson's plan of allowing women to have a proper education is finally being put into practice... And I'm part of it!" She smiled widely, "I know you must be thrilled with this news, uh?"
Her mother did her best to give Theodosia the best education she could, teaching the little girl not only how to read and write, but also introduced complex subjects such as arithmetic, geography, English compositions, and even a bit of Latin when Theo asked to know more interesting things. She used to say that one smart woman is worthy of ten smart men. Unfortunately, the woman passed when the girl was only ten years old. Her father kept the flame of seeking for knowledge alive and continued what his wife started, teaching Theodosia everything he could until she was a formed woman.
"It has been a wonderful experience. I've learned a lot during the past few months... Philip and Georges are also going to graduate with us by the end of the year, can you believe it passed so fast? They only allowed us one year, but it's good enough to open the way for others... I also still couldn't convince Philip to pet Spirit, but I have faith it might happen," She chuckled but then a crushing realization hit her, "Well... Actually... It might not happen at all." Her speaking quieted down to a whisper, "Dad arranged a marriage for me with Joseph Alston."
She brushed her hand quickly against her cheek to wipe invisible tears away, "And well... Joseph is not quite what neither of us imagined as the man I'll be spending the rest of my life with... He doesn't understand me at all. And even if we can't communicate he still finds ways to drag boring, annoying, and even disrespectful conversations- Actually they are more like monologues than anything else. Every second we spend together, I feel so drained... He pushed me down... And doesn't matter how many times I tried- Mom, dad won't change his mind." She compressed her lips again, tighter this time, "He will do whatever it takes to not see me and Philip together... He changed so much during the last years. He seriously let his pride blind him for good now."
Theodosia still cherished the memories of her happy father, such as the one from when her mother was at her artist phase. She wanted to paint and needed a model for her art. Somehow, she convinced Aaron to put on a dress, a hat and made him sit for hours on end holding a book as she worked on the painting that hanged above their living room fireplace since then, and was supposed to never be removed from there.
"You could change his mind. You always knew how to make him do what you wanted," She chuckled again, a bittersweet smile on display, "How much I wished you had left that secret behind for me..." The girl sniffed and shook her head, wiping away the tears that had fell without her noticing. "Mom," She murmured and kissed the tips of her fingers before patting the cold stone, "Thanks for listening to me... I love you."
The girl exhaled loudly, relaxing her shoulders as she looked at the engraved name in the stone. Theodosia Bartow Prevost Burr. It always gave her the chills to see her own name, the name both she and her mother shared, in that tomb. The feeling was almost as if it was a vision of her own future, the future after she would pass from this world. Theodosia never liked to think about that subject, she wanted to enjoy life to its minimum joys, just as her mother used to. However, that date would always make her think about death, about what she would be leaving behind, about the people she loved, the opportunities she didn't have the chance to live yet.
She felt a hand touching her shoulder and it made her jump out of her thoughts, turning around to find Philip holding a bouquet of white flowers. He smiled at her with sorrow, but still trying to give her support, as he crouched down to place the flowers among the others.
"Hey, Theo..."
He didn't have the chance to say anything else before she hugged him tightly, burying her face at his shoulder, and the sob she had been keeping in finally reached the surface. Philip widened his eyes in surprise but rubbed her back to soothe her out, "It's okay, Theo... It's okay... Just let it out... I'm here for you, ok?"
Back in the day when her mother died, Theodosia didn't shed a tear during the funeral. Nor the day after it. Nor the day after that one either. People would always ask if she was alright, and she would always smile back and tell them her mother was in a better place now, that she wouldn't like to see her sad.
The woman's last words for her daughter indeed were, "Theo, don't let my absence take away your joy. You can't deprive the world of your light... You have the amazing ability to lift people's spirits... You are so compassionate and brave, my love... Don't ever let anyone take that from you."
Every year, her friends would accompany her to visit her mother's tomb, giving her some minutes alone before showing up, and in none of those years Theodosia cried in the visits. She wanted to keep her promise to her mother, even if she felt devastated on the inside. The tears would only come when she was on her own in her room. But this time she couldn't hold it.
"I disappointed her, Pip," She said and sobbed again.
"What are you talking about?" Philip asked confused, "Of course you didn't, Theo. She could never be more proud of you..."
"She told me to never let anyone take away my light- To be brave- But it just happened and I did nothing about it!"
He shushed her as he hugged her tighter, still caressing her back tenderly, "Shh... None of this is true, okay? You are the same Theo that stopped me from wasting my life in that duel, the one who supported Susan after the incident, the one who has the most praises from the teachers... And the only one who can put some sense in both Mary and Frances' heads, we know that's a talent," He chuckled, which made the girl do the same. "You are amazing Theo," He kissed the top of her head and sighed with closed eyes against her hair, "Your mother could never love you any less even with everything that has been happening..."
Theodosia humidified her lips, her cry subsiding the longer he spoke. She rested her head against his chest with a sigh, and there they stood for a while more in silence, Philip's hand never stopping to rub her back.
"Did I ever tell you what she used to say about you?" She asked quietly with a tiny smile.
He looked down with a smile of his own, curiosity taking over him, "No, what was it?"
She chuckled at the memory, "That she had never met such a pretentious and silly boy in such a young age as you."
"What? She thought that about me?!" He sounded partially offended but chuckled at it either way.
Theodosia placed her chin at his chest to look up at him with a smirk, "And that you overreacted way too much... She also used to finish it by saying we would totally get married one day."
"Oh, I remember that part." He smugly smiled back. "We were so grossed out when our moms would start talking about it."
Since they could remember, both their mothers would joke about how they would get married when they were older. It indeed used to gross them out, but after Theodosia's passing, Aaron Burr didn't have enough time to both work and take care of his daughter, and once at the time he and Alexander Hamilton were still friends, Theo Jr was practically raised among the Hamilton children by Eliza.
Not being alone helped Theodosia to deal with her mother's loss in a better way than if she had spent her days all alone in her house until her father returned from work. The girl even considered Eliza as her second mom. Not only she took care of her per years and was there whenever Theodosia most needed a female model, but Eliza also used to be great friends with her mother, and the girl always felt loved by her just as if she was her own child.
It was also because of those days spent at the Hamilton's that not only Theodosia became friends with Frances and Stephan, but as their teenage years arrived, both she and Philip discovered many things among each other, including the awakening of feelings they had never experienced after spending so many years growing up together.
"Do you remember that I used to say all the time that hated boys and created a "no boys club" with Mary, Fran, and Angie?" She chuckled and Philip nodded with a hum, "We even dragged Susan into it even if she never understood the reason to that."
"Yeah, you guys would exclude us from everything," He chuckled at the memory, not being able to avert his gaze from hers. He had never seen eyes like hers. They were of a unique grayish tone that always amazed him. "What about now? Still hate us or...?"
"Uhm..." She hummed thoughtfully, "Now I feel like my mom was kind of right."
Philip grew a smile and only then one of his hands let go of her back, just to cradle her cheek, which was already dry from any tears, "Good..."
Both their hearts bumped faster by the second, the agony of not be able to even touch each other for so long finally sinking in. Theodosia lifted her body and kissed him before second thinking it. Philip closed his eyes and kissed her back. It was a brief kiss, they quickly pulled away, but both had been craving for a single touch of their lips per months.
Philip furrowed his eyebrows, "Wait, you meat she was right about me being silly and exaggerated, or about us getting married?"
"Oh, don't forget about pretentious," Theodosia smugly smiled.
That made the boy chuckle, "I won't."
She hugged him once again with a sigh, "Thanks for being here... I guess... The others just forgot about it. It's not their fault though, it's not like I've been much present for them to remember anyway."
"But they didn't," Philip responded and motioned with his head.
Theodosia let go of him and turned around, finding the rest of her friends walking down the path towards her mother's tomb. All of them offered their friend smiles as she stood up, smiling back at them, happy they actually showed up. Susan and Mary, who carried a bouquet each, placed the new flowers carefully down before engulfing Theo in a hug.
"Sorry we were late," Mary softly said, to which Theo simply shook her head, signalizing it was no big deal.
Susan was the first one to arrive at the Burr's house; however, Aaron informed her that Theodosia had already left. She then decided to wait there for the rest of the group because she didn't want to go on her own or mismatch with the others once the Burr's house had always been the point they would meet to then head to the cemetery together.
Georges patted Theodosia's back and offered her a sorrowful smile, which she replied with one of her own. He knew the exact pain she was going through once he also lost his mother at a young age; the reason why he moved to America with his father, to escape the pain France had for them. He was a big ally for Theodosia back when she had just lost her mother.
"Thanks guys," Theodosia said with a sad smile, "Sorry for not being so present lately, but-"
"Don't stress about it," Mary interrupted her.
Frances nudged Stephan with her elbow and silently motioned at Theodosia with her head. He then handed the small basket of beignets he baked that morning, he knew those were Theodosia's favorites. She took it with a big smile and already picked up one, humming with the delicious flavor.
"Just as good as usual," She complimented with her mouth still full and all of them chuckled, except for Stephan of course, who blushed wildly and just nodded while averting his gaze. Theodosia shared the beignets and everyone took one, but they also made sure to leave the last one for Theo.
...
"Where have you been all day?! I've been looking for you!"
Theodosia sighed in annoyance when Joseph walked up to her. She was just about a few houses away from hers after spending about an hour more with her friends after they exited the cemetery.
"Pardon me, Mister Alston. But today is not a good day." She spoke firmly while staring intensely at his eyes.
"You were supposed to have met me at the restaurant two hours ago! I was left waiting like a fool for everyone to see! What do you have to say about it?"
"Today is my mother's death day, so if you please manage to be more respectful I would really appreciate it."
Alston seemed to hesitate for a moment, his posture changing as he rested his weight at the opposite leg and averted to meet her eyes, "Oh. My condolences, Miss Burr. I had no idea it was today."
"Thank you." Theodosia nodded, accepting his apologies.
"Still it is no excuse to skip your compromises."
She fiercely stared at him and opened an unsettling and visibly forced smile, "Won't happen again."
"And forgive me for saying, but," He began and Theodosia took in a deep breath for his next statement, "Wouldn't it be about time to stop mourning?"
She simply stared at him emotionlessly, "Come again?"
"I'm aware it's been almost a decade since when your mother passed. It must have been really painful. However, weren't you supposed to have already moved on after so long?" He tilted his head to the side, the eyebrows slightly furrowed in actual confusion. Theodosia was taken back by it, not expecting to hear such a thing, and just stared back at him. "I know women are all about emotion and not reason, and aren't quite able to control what they feel, but isn't this too much, Miss Burr?"
She closed her hands into fists, "If I wasn't able to control what I feel, I would punch you right here right now." Was what she wanted to say.
"Have a good evening, Mister Alston." She coldly said instead, lifting her chin as she walked past him but stopped a few feet away, not caring about turning around to speak directly at his face, "And if you have any decency at all, you will not try to bother me again anytime soon after this absurd that exited your mouth."
Joseph watched her firm and graciously walk away from him before entering her house. He huffed annoyed by her attitude before hopping on his own carriage to take him home, grumbling inside his own mind about Theodosia's attitude.