The few months turn into a couple of years, you're always tempted to write to your friends, to abandon the mission and go back, but you fight the longing and persist. And yet, you can't find happiness here. The friendships that sprout here and there are timid shadows of what you've experienced back home. Having a goal makes things easier, you don't feel so lost, you have something to pursue, something to work for. When the mission is over, you're offered to start another one but decline. You're not even tempted to accept. You want to go home so desperately.
Your hair has grown, you're taller, more sure of who you are and what you want, you've grown into a woman but feel incomplete and broken. The thought of walking into Konoha again makes your heart flutter with excitement. All the pain is still there, but it's not ruling your life anymore, you're wiser now. You're scared they've moved on, that they've forgotten, that they'll feel like you'd betrayed them and not accept you back. You push the fear away, it doesn't matter how they feel about you, you love them dearly.
You wear your festive outfit, your hair loose, no weapons on you, no bandana. As you enter and go past the gates you yell "HELLOOOO, I'M HOOOOME, WHERE'S MY RAMEN?". People stop in the street and turn to you and in return, you smile largely at them. You try to look cool, walk slowly, confidently, but can't wipe the stupid smile off your face or control the butterflies in your stomach. As you enter your house's street, you stop dead in your tracks and let out a gasp. Obito looks at you petrified for a moment, then his stern look grows softer and softer into a big smile, he lifts his arm into a wave but you don't let him greet you, you dash past him and hug Ande from behind. Obito lets his arm fall slowly and painfully. Both you and Ande start crying and laughing at each other, there's so much you want to say, you don't know where to start.
"Start at day one?"
"It's a long story"
"I have all the time. How about we meet everyone and you can share everything with everyone and everyone can share everything with you?" she asks.
"I was so afraid I lost you"
"Hmm? How could you have lost me?", Ande asks confused.
"I didn't know if you'd still wanted to be my friend, I've been a terrible friend to you, you've helped me when I was low and sad and I just left you..."
"That's not even remotely true, I'm here because of you, you've always encouraged and pushed me to get better, I got more confident watching you and getting praised by you, so thank you."
You hug each other and cry, she helps you settle back in your home and prepare the festivities. "OMG LET'S MAKE THIS INTO A SURPRISE!"
"yes, let's!" You accompany her home, to prepare things. When you enter, Tenzou is lounging on the couch, reading a scroll.
"You're back already, was lady Oro not at home?" Ande gives you a side look and smiles embarrassed. You slowly realise what's going on and the smile on your face grows wider and wider. He looks up when Ande doesn't reply, as he sees you, the scroll goes flying out of his hands, he jumps up and then falls back down on the couch in disbelief, then starts to slowly get up again.
"...Y/n?"
" You absolute moron!"
He takes you by surprise with a hug and ruffles you hair violently. You feel everyone has grown so much taller, but it might just be that you remember them as kids. His grip is tight, you feel so small in his arms, you pinch his ribs
"TEZNOU, PEOPLE WHO TOUCH MY HAIR DIE IN THE NEXT 10 SECONDS, DO YOU HAVE A DYING WISH?"
He takes a step back, hand still on your head, bows to lock eyes with you
"I missed you"
You're fixing your hair, while watching him and smiling warmly
"I missed your stupid face like crazy too"
Ande comes near you two, he takes the hand off your head and wraps his arm around her waist. Ande places her hand on Tenzou's back and smiles at you. Your hear melts at those gestures of intimacy that come so naturally and unconsciously to them, not bothered by your presence, no hiding, no second-guessing, no shame, no worries, you remember that this is what being with Shisui felt like, it makes you happy to know Ande can experience that as well. You don't ask about it, what is there to ask? You already know everything, it's so natural and beautiful you just instantly accept and understand their relationship.
"We're so happy to have you back, are you fully back?" she asks
"Yes, you guys are my home, and I really missed being home."
"We should start preparing then!", she says eagerly
You three get to getting Ande's house ready for the little party. Tenzou insists it will be a huge boisterous party but you prefer it modest. You're still not sure if Tenzou moved in or this is just a day they got to spend together, but you don't ask, it doesn't matter, however they chose to be together is none of your business, the important thing is that they're together in such a natural way that you feel welcomed, and not like a third wheel.
The celebration is scheduled for the day after tomorrow, so you spend the two days inside, keeping away from prying eyes, worried that Obito might have blown your cover and playing conversations in your mind, and scenarios where everyone looks at you dazzled at how beautiful you are and somehow they crown you queen. Your fantasies were always short on modesty.
On the fated day, people arrive one by one. Ande or Tenzou welcomes them in, only for them to enter the room and see you and come dashing to you. No one is holding back, you get hugged and kissed and squeezed and everyone is touching your face, shoulders, arms in disbelief that you're back. Rin comes alone. You don't ask about it but die of curiosity to know if romance between her and Obito ever blossomed. She's happy to see you, it's as if that incident never happened, she regained full strength and is now a great medical ninja. Not as great as Ande, I bet you think but there's no competition between them, they're neither close friends, nor rivals, they respect each other and are comrades but nothing more.
Kakashi arrives a couple of hours late, while you're all in the middle of a game. You've been expecting him all night and gave up on the idea of him coming, assumed his on a mission or chose to keep his distance. So you get up and stomp to the door annoyed that someone is interrupting, expecting a neighbor but as you open the door, your gaze softens, you mouth opens, your hands start shaking. Kakashi is still taller than you, his shoulders broad, his arms strong, his mask still concealing his face, his look piercing, his demeanor nonchalant in a way that makes you want to get his attention and approval, just like when you were kids.
You two look at each other without a word, eyes locked, your breathing becoming heavier and heavier. He lifts his hand and puts a strand of hair from your face back behind your ear, lightly brushing your skin with the tip of his fingers in the process, making you shiver. It dawns on you that you're not a girl anymore, you stand before him as a woman and before your mind gets flooded with the worries of whether he finds you attractive, beautiful, cute and what-not, you break eye contact and invite him in.
"Welcome back" he says on a tone that betrays his smile.
You can't find your words, this is not the Kakashi you left behind. He joins Rin and Guy's group and you look after him dismayed what now? You spend the night talking to your friends, learning about what they've been up to, telling them as much as protocols allow, eyeing all the time an opportunity to catch Kakashi alone and talk to him. The opportunity arises later that night, when most people already left, and you are all a little tipsy and a little too tired.
"You've grown up" he says
"You've grown old" you tease
He frowns and shakes his head in disapproval "I take that back".
"Why isn't anyone else appreciating my sarcastic humour as much as I do?" you roll your eyes, he took the bait, there's still hope. He chuckles and hits your forehead with his index finger "how long are you staying?"
"Until you guys throw me out because you've grown tired of my jokes"
"So, tomorrow?" he's teasing you but his eye is still locked on yours, the tip of his finger burning on your chin, your insides rumbling. He was never one for words, he was always one for action.
"I've been thinking about you a lot" you hear yourself say and immediately regret, things are not the same between you two, what are you doing.
"At some point I've given up and thought you're not coming back anymore, which would have been sad for me, but I was happy for you" he says, letting go of your chin and gently moving his palm on your neck, thumb still on your face, sliding it to the back of your head ever so slowly. You want to make a snappy remark but none come to mind. You want to return the touch but you're frozen in place, afraid that if you move he'll take his hand back. Is he even aware of the touch?
"You've grown" he says but doesn't eye you up and down, he's still looking you dead in the eye, afraid that if he blinks you might vanish "your hair is longer now, your long hair is beautiful". The old you would have known to decipher that as "you're beautiful" but the present you is afraid to go there, afraid to hope and thinks in slow-motion. You open your mouth to say "you've grown too" but you don't get to, you feel his hot breath on your lips for a moment before he glues his lips to your, lightly pressing your face on his with the hand on the back of your head. You open your mouth to let the kiss grow and push your tongue forward but feel the sharp material of his mask. It doesn't stop you, you hope it never stops, you gently sigh into his mouth as the kiss goes from slow to fast to rough, making him sigh painfully with each passing moment, his other hand finding its way to your waist, pulling you close then holding you tight, your hand gripping his shirt and the other trying to find its way to his hair and pull on it but you don't get to. You two slowly break the kiss, panting, both red and embarrassed.
"I should have done that sooner" he says in a pensive tone.
You're not sure what he means, maybe he means that if he would have kissed you like that back then, you wouldn't have left. You don't entertain that thought
"Better never than late.. no, wait uh better late than –"
"I need to go" he interrupts you, "I'll see you around I guess?".
You were hoping to spend more time with him, all night, all life.
"If you're vigilant enough you might spot me here and there" you say. He nods and leaves for the night. You would have hoped the kiss would come after the first I love you, after the first accidental yet electrifying hand touch, after the first Can I kiss you, but there's enough time for that, the order is not that important as long as they happen.
It's too late to do any cleaning, as you're heading for bed on Ande and Tenzou's couch, who have been already sleeping for a few hours, you hear a light knock on the door. As you open the door, your look goes from tired yet blissful to almost terror, as Obito is standing in front of the door. You look at him and he looks at you, both unsure what to say. You break the silence "not tonight", close the door and go to sleep.