Love: Two minds without a single thought.
by Philip Barry.
A ding sound emitted and Kiana quickly pushed the door open, rushing into the penthouse. She spared not even a second more and ran towards the staircase. Her heart was thumping so fast against her ribcage, but she couldn't stop, at least not now. Her thoughts were clouded as well. She rushed up the staircase that she had never been on before and hastened her steps towards Enrico's room. Without thinking for a moment, she held the knob and pushed the door open and rushed into the room. She only came to a standstill when she sighted him on his bed.
She stood, as if frozen, staring at him, while panting from all the running she had done all the way from the office. She even made use of a cab for transport, instead of a bus. The elevator at this building seemed occupied and at that moment, she couldn't wait. She had grown impatient, so she chose the other way up. She ran up using the staircase. Tears clouded her vision as she stared at him on his bed with a duvet over his body. Just his head could be seen. His eyes remained shut and anyone could tell he wasn't okay. Kiana felt really bad. If his condition has gotten worse, it would be all her fault. She left without checking up on him. She had been so selfish to save herself all the time and this was the consequence.
Slowly, Enrico's eyes fluttered and slightly opened. His eyes fell on her and he stared without saying a word. Kiana stared back for a while, before sniffing then blinking several times to contain her tears, but they just came rolling down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them off, looking elsewhere but on him.
"You wore shoes into my room." Enrico suddenly stated, barely in his usual voice and Kiana shifted her eyes to him before looking down at her feet.
He was right. She was so caught up in getting to him that she forgot to take off her shoes. Without wasting a second more, she reached down to her shoes and took them off, before walking up to him. She stared at him for a moment before going on her knees, so it was easy for her to meet his face. His eyes remained on her as well. She placed a hand on his forehead to feel his temperature and thereafter, withdrew her hand.
"You... You have a high fever. Why... why didn't you call for me? I live here, don't I? You're not supposed to be on your own when you're sick." She commented as she tried so hard to contain her tears, but all Enrico did was stare at her.
"You're not supposed to be in my room." He gave a sudden remark once more and Kiana slowly furrowed her brow at him.
"You can be in mine but I can't be in yours? You can help me out when I'm ill, but I can't help you out when you're ill?" Kiana added, before getting up on her feet, then turned away and hastened her steps out of the room.
Enrico let out a sigh as he shut his eyes right after she left. He hated being sick. He hated feeling vulnerable and stuck to a bed. He hated the fact that she saw him like this. Last night, he had gone to bed feeling quite okay, but by this morning, he felt so cold. He felt so dizzy, weak and unable to get off his bed. He heard a few sounds downstairs and remained reluctant to ask for her help. Actually, he was grateful she was leaving for work that early. That way, she wouldn't get to see him this way. He also hoped that in a few hours of resting, he would feel a little better, but it had just gotten worse. There was the sneezing, the running nose and the ever-splitting headache. His eyes felt so heavy and he just couldn't move no matter how much he desired it. It made him vexed because that wasn't him.
He wasn't the type to fall sick easily. He wasn't the type to stay still for a long time, but now that Kiana was back and seeing her in his room made him realise she might have figured out something was wrong with him, as he hadn't showed up in the office. He still didn't want her seeing him this way; although a part of him craved to have her by his side. He believed he had an image to uphold. He had always seemed cool. Cool with his movement, cool with his words, cool on the face. She seeing him this way would ruin the image of a perfect life he had painted for himself. Gratefully, she was gone. His words might have seemed a little harsh, but it did the trick.
Kiana walked back into his room with a bowl of warm water and a towel in her hands. Enrico lazily fluttered his eyes open just as she went back down on her knees in front of him. His brows slightly furrowed at her presence. She was back. He genuinely thought she left. He watched her gently keep the bowl on the ground beside her. She soaked the small towel in water, then brought it out and squeezed. She shifted her eyes back up to Enrico and without making quite an eye contact with him, she placed the towel on his forehead. He remained still while his eyes remained on her, even while she did the same routine for two more times.
"You know you don't have to do this." He stated all of a sudden, his voice still a bit shaky, low and uneven due to the state he was in.
Leaving the towel on his forehead once more, she shifted her eyes to his.
"I have to... You took care of me when I needed it and now, I have to do the same." She explained and without wasting a moment more, she shifted her eyes away from his.
"I'm sure you're hungry. I'll make you something to eat and return with some drugs as well." She explained as she got up to her feet and finally walked away when Enrico said nothing regarding her comment.
Enrico stared at the ceiling after Kiana was gone. Earlier, he just wanted to keep her away from him during that phase of his life. He didn't want her seeing him that way, but seeing how adamant she is at letting him be on his own, it made his thinking change a little. His brows slightly furrowed as he kept staring at the ceiling. It seemed as if he could see every scene of his life play in front of him. Perhaps, Kiana was right. He did help her when she was ill. It would make total sense for her to do exactly that for him as well. Kindness beseeched kindness. He shut his eyes for a moment as he let out a sigh. Fine, he was going to be himself. Perhaps, being himself means taking advantage of his situation. Why shouldn't he? This would be the only time his actions would be excused. She wouldn't even be able to say no. After all, she was indebted to him.
Kiana threaded carefully back into the room holding onto a tray in both of her hands. Enrico shifted his eyes to her and watched as she carefully kept the tray on the bedside table before turning to him.
"You have to eat." Kiana stated, while staring at him. He remained silent as he stared at her. Kiana let out a silent sigh as she thought of what next to do.
"I'm going to help you sit up." She stated, but all he did was stare in silence, so she took his silence as a go-ahead order.
She awkwardly reached down to him. He aided her by pressing his hands down on the bed and pulling himself to sit up with his back rested on the headboard. Satisfied with what she was seeing, Kiana decided to go back on her knees, but stopped halfway through her plan as she noticed Enrico tapping his left hand on the small space beside him on his bed. Kiana slightly furrowed her brows as she looked to the space and unto his face. His face was unreadable and she couldn't quite comprehend his thoughts. Nevertheless, Kiana took a deep breath before gently having her seat on the space provided for her. She picked up the tray and placed it on her lap. She picked up a napkin from the tray and used the spoon to scoop a little of the dish, before reaching her stretched hand to him. She waited patiently for him to open his mouth, but he looked from her face and to the coloured liquid laid on the spoon. He shifted his eyes back up to her.
"What's this?"
"Soup. Chicken soup." Kiana gave a straightforward reply with her hand still stretched out to him.
He took another look at the spoon, then raised his eyes back to her.
"You expect me to believe... that you made chicken soup in less than thirty minutes?" Enrico asked, his voice still low, while his eyes fluttered quite lazily.
Kiana stared at him for a moment before letting out a silent sigh.
"Yes, so you need to have it before it gets cold." She replied as she stretched her hand a little further to him, but his mouth remained shut. Eventually, he turned his head away.
"I'm not hungry." He stated, while looking elsewhere.
"That's okay. It's just your lack of appetite speaking, but you have to fight it. You have to have something if you want to get better quickly." She explained quite positively and Enrico shifted his eyes back to her. His brows slightly furrowed. Kiana stared back hoping she was able to convince him as her arm was starting to hurt as well from hanging it on air.
"Now I think about it... this is your fault." Enrico stated, his voice barely strong enough. Kiana's brows slowly furrowed at his comment, before she withdrew her hand and set the spoon back into the bowl.
"I don't understand."
"The rain. You being sick... If I wasn't always there to save you... I wouldn't be in this state." Enrico explained, as he looked away from her. His face quite without expression.
Kiana stared at him blankly for a while, a little surprised to hear those exact words from him. For a moment there, she had forgotten the fact that they were no longer friends, just old acquaintances and the fact that she was his employee. She was there because her heart couldn't bear to let him be during this vulnerable state of his, but somehow, he was finding a way to make her regret her decision.
She let out a sigh.
"I didn't ask for you to be there and I most certainly didn't ask for a saviour." She stated and Enrico shifted his eyes back to her. The look in her eyes, a little different from earlier.
"All my life... I've been my own saviour. It's hard, but I'll continue to be my own saviour. So, Mr. Vos, whenever such a situation arises again... please look away." She expressed, a little much to his surprise. Okay, perhaps, he aimed to say whatever he felt like, since she was obligated to take care of him, but he hadn't anticipated his words hurting her so much. Regardless of that, he couldn't take back what he said. No specific reason as to why. All he knew was that he just couldn't take it back, so he stared at her while she set the tray back on the side table and got up on her feet.
"Have your soup and take your medication. I'll be downstairs if you need anything... sir." She added, without a single emotion displayed on her face. Her eyes barely met with his. Enrico watched silently as she turned away and walked further away from him, then past the entrance into his room, till she could no longer be seen.
Enrico let out a huge sigh as he looked away from the door and stared ahead at nothing in particular. Thereafter, he shut his eyes and plunged into the darkness that came with shutting out the light. He recalled her words bit by bit and realised, for the first time, that something sounded different with her. It felt as if she was trying to tell in a lot in that short sentence of hers. Her words seemed laced with rage, confusion and pain. It made him wonder exactly what might have happened to her all these years. Was there more to her story besides the one he could see?
His heart felt heavy. Perhaps, he went a little too far? Regrets, that was all he became filled with.
* * *
Kiana walked down the staircase feeling a little enraged within and suddenly stopped a few stairs before the last one. After a moment of standing, she settled to having her seat on the staircase she stood on. She had begun panting a little louder than usual. Her anger had taken a toll on her. For some reason, her eyes felt heavy and her lips trembled. Her heart raced faster than normal. She was vexed. She was vexed with him, herself, fate and the world.
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she tried her best to silently sob. Honestly, it just didn't make sense why, of all people she could have worked for, it just had to be Enrico? An old friend who hasn't really forgiven her for the past and as if things weren't tough enough for her, she also became so helpless that she had to stay at his residence. Earlier, when she rushed out of the building with only him in her thoughts, it made her realise that, perhaps, Enrico somehow still managed to secure a special spot for himself in her heart.
Regardless of all the taunting and harsh words, he was still a special someone, but that didn't stop the fact that she got hurt from time to time because of him. After all, she was still human. So, earlier when he said those words to her, blaming her for his illness, it sort-of pissed her off. She really hadn't asked for any of this. In fact, her dreams were simple. A life without debts, a regular three meals a day, her dream job and yes, a family to call her own. A loving, caring husband and beautiful kids. That was all. That was all Kiana Stuart dreamt of, but unfortunately, it seems she was never going to get it. They say hard work pays off, but Kiana was starting to lose faith in that saying. Now, she was just partially living for living's sake.