Chapter 28
"Tell me more..." King huskily said. Nakayakap ako sa kanya habang sinusuklay niya ang buhok ko. We're here in my bedroom and he really stayed here in my condo the whole day! Hindi na rin ako lumabas pa, besides, day off ko pa rin ngayong araw na ito.
"Ikaw naman palagi na lang akong nagkwekwento eh!" reklamo ko.
"But I am more interested on you."
"I am interested on you too..." ako.
"Well, I am still handling our business but..." he paused which made me look at him
"But?"
"I made a new one."
"Huh?"
"I have my own business now too..." he said which made me shocked.
"You what? Really?!!! I don't know!" gulat kong sabi.
"Of course you wouldn't know. Talagang sineryoso mo ang paghihiwalayan natin eh. Ni hindi mo nga ako magawang kamustahin man lang," himig pagtatampo niya.
"E-excuse me?!!" iyan lang ang tanging nasambit ko kasi tama siya. Kahit kating-kati na akong tanungin kung kamusta siya, kahit gustong-gusto kong malaman kung okay ba siya... lahat ng ito kinimkim ko na lang sa sarili ko.
"How 'bout you? Ikaw nga ngayon lang na nandito eh." tumihaya ako at ibinalik ang tingin sa ceiling. I felt him move and now he's the one hugging me. Nakasuot ng shorts at puting t-shirt na dala niya. Naka-pajama pa rin ako kasi kagigising lang talaga namin.
"Akala mo lang 'yon..." he mumbled.
"Kapag umuuwi ka ng Pangasinan nandoon ako, nakatingin sa malayo," he added. My eyes widened. I tried to look at him but he buried his face on my neck now I can feel his breathing there.
"You're crazy!"
"I am updated to you. Akala mo hindi ko alam na nagba-bar ka?" ngayon, mariin na naman ang boses niya.
"Hindi naman ako naglalasing eh," giit ko.
"Yeah..."
"Hindi ka naniniwala?!"
"Naniniwala."
"Oh naman pala! At hindi ko alam na may imbestigador ka pala huh. Or should I say... taga-sumbong?" sarkastiko kong sabi. I heard him chuckled. He's still hugging me.
"Ang bait ko kaya rito. Umiinom lang ako kasi you know that's how we hang out with my friends! Buti nga ikaw updated ka sa akin eh ako sa iyo hindi!" I tried to escape from him but he didn't let me.
"Wala ka naman malalaman sa akin na ginagawa ko bukod sa nagbu-business at nagpapatayo ng bahay," aniya.
"Aba malay ko ba kung may nakarelasyon ka doon! Malay ko ba kung may ka-fuck buddies ka—hmmp!"
He covered my mouth using his palm.
"Ano ba, Casper? Saan mo naman natutunan iyan?"
"What? Don't tell me hindi mo alam ito? Ikaw pa ba, King?" natatawa kong sabi.
"Of course I know that, but I will never engage with that kind of set up. Where did you learn that? Natututo ka na sa mga ganyan ah?" pagalit niyang sabi.
"Why are you so mad? Normal lang na malaman ko mga ganyan 'no? Hello, tao ako! I am surrounded by many people engaged in that kind of set up. At saka isa pa open minded akong tao! Napaka-OA mo."
He rolled his eyes now he's going back to hugging me.
"Ano?" niyugyog ko siya.
"Anong ano?"
"Nagkaroon ka ba ng ganoong klaseng relasyon no'ng wala tayo?"
"I said I am not! I am loyal to you! Kahit tanungin mo pa kay Kai at sa mga kaibigan ko!" agap niya.
"Trabaho nga lang ginagawa ko eh," pagmamaktol niya.
"Weh? Kahit sa mga bistro doon sa Pangasinan, wala?"
"Hindi na ako umiinom doon. Sa bahay na lang."
"Hindi ako naniniwala." Naningkit ang mga mata ko.
"Totoo. Wala naman si Thirdy doon sa Pangasinan. Kapag nagkikita kami nagtatrabaho lang 'yon doon. Si Cody wala rin. Si Kai may pamilya na kaya hindi p'wede. Si Sarah nasa ibang bansa. Si Zion abala rin sa kompanya niya. Ganoon din si Yuno sa trabaho niya. Wala akong kasama at hindi ako umiinom nang walang kasama, alam mo 'yan."
Hindi na ako nagsalita pa pagkatapos ng kanyang sinabi. I appreciate this kind of morning... with him.
I felt his hug became tighter.
"What are you thinking?" he whispered.
"Do you consider yourself as a successful person now?" out-of-nowhere I asked.
"How do you describe success?" he asked me.
"Ako nagtatanong!" reklamo ko.
"Para sa akin iba ang depinisyon ko ng success kaya kung ako ang tatanungin mo, hindi pa. Marami pa akong pangarap at gustong abutin, kaya hindi pa," aniya.
"Ano pa ba gusto mong mangyari?"
"I want to engineer bigger and higher buildings," he simply said. Oh, I think I know what he wanted to do... I smiled because he is dreaming bigger again. This is the King I know.
"Kaya mo naman eh."
"Ikaw? Do you consider yourself as successful now?" he asked back.
"Uhm, I think the joy in my heart was genuine, pure, and true and I think that's what matters the most so I think yeah." I looked at him. He kissed my forehead and his lips remained in my forehead.
"I can see that," he said. "And you're a good engineer as well so no doubt.
"You too," I smiled.
"I'm so proud of you, King." with all my heart I said it. Just in case no one hasn't told him yet then I'll be the one telling that I am really proud of him and he is doing so well.
Just a second passed, he rolled over and then the next thing I knew he is on top of me now. He is staring at me while smiling... the smile which I missed the most. A kind of smile that is infectious and a kind of smile that assures every doubt in me.
"Ang ganda talaga..." iling niya. Inilapit niya ang kanyang mukha sa mukha ko. I can now feel his breathing.
"Ganito pala hitsura ni Casper kapag bagong gising..." he teased. He's scanning my whole face like he's memorizing every bit of me.
"Sabog ang buhok, malumanay na mga mata, tapos namumulang pisngi..." he enumerates. My face heated! Ano bang sinasabi ng lalaking ito?!
"Oh! May muta pa!" tapos tumawa siya. Muntik ko na siyang masuntok mabuti na lang naagapan niyang hawakan ang dalawang palapulsuhan ko. Dinala niya ang aking dalawang kamay sa magkabilaang gilid ko saka siya unti-unting lumalapit sa akin para bigyan ng halik.
His kisses were soft and gentle. His kisses tell thousands of emotions. The gentle kisses became deeper and aggressive and the next thing I knew my hands were wrapped on his neck. We're still kissing and I welcome all his kisses with full of love and sincerity.
He stopped just for us to breath. Tumitig siya sa mga mata ko saka ngumiti. Akala ko hahalikan niya ako ulit nang ilapit niya ang mukha niya pero inilapit niya lang pala ang bibig niya sa tainga ko at bumulong.
"Pakasal na tayo?"
Para akong nagulantang sa sinabi niya. Ano daw? Is he... proposing to me? But where's the ring?! Is he joking?
Wala pang ilang segundo tumayo siya saka niya kinuha ang slacks niya at may kinuha sa bulsa, isang box. Mabilis akong umupo at patuloy na nakatitig sa hawak-hawak niyang box.
Lumapit siya sa kama at muling naupo. Umupo ako na parang bata, isang batang naghihintay ng isang napakagandang regalo. I am smiling while looking at his hands to where the box is... ni hindi ko siya magawang tingnan dahil nakatutok lang ako sa kanyang kamay.
He slowly opened the box and saw the diamond ring inside. My eyes sparkled as my mouth went 'o' but I managed to grin widely. Is this true?!
"This is not the proposal I wanted to do but I think I can't wait any longer..." he said.
Ano? May sinasabi ba siya? Ah, wala na akong pakialam basta nakatitig lang ako sa singsing na nasa harapan ko. Kinuha niya mula sa box ang singsing saka unti-unting pinadausdos sa palasingsingan ko.
"Please, marry me," he whispered.
Hindi ako makasalita, nakangiti na lang ako at hindi maipaliwanag ang nararamdaman. My eyes went back to his. I nodded and hug him so tightly.
"Of course, I'll marry you." I whispered back...
I swear this is the happiest day of my life so far...
"H'wag mong biglain si, Mama," ngisi ko. I guess he can't wait any longer to announce that we're getting married.
"Psh..."
"I think it's too early—"
"Too early? Nagustuhan kita first year pa lang tayo nun. Binasted mo ako at naghintay ng isang taon para lang maligawan kita. Third year ata no'ng pinayagan mo akong manligaw at ilang buwan kitang niligawan. Magta-tatlong taon na tayo nun nang sinaktan mo ako—"
"Anong sinaktan?!"
"I waited for five damn years before I can propose to you tapos sasabihin mong maaga pa?" sunod-sunod niyang sabi. Hindi ko maiwasang matawa sa kanya. He's so cute!
"Okay. But not now, okay? Uuwi muna ako ng Pangasinan. Sabi mo a-attend pa tayo ng wedding anniversary ng magulang mo, hindi ba? Sige pagkatapos nun sabihin na natin sa kanila," sabi ko. Tumingin siya sa akin.
"I'll take a leave too para makapagbakasyon naman ako kahit isang linggo lang."
"That's a promise?"
"Yeah, promise."
He kissed me before I can go inside our office. Hinatid niya ako at siya rin daw ang susundo sa akin mamayang hapon.
"Hindi ka uuwi? Paano ang business mo doon?"
"Uuwi ako kapag kasama na kitang uuwi."
"Baliw!"
"Sa'yo."
"Kaya pala ayaw maghanap ng jowa kasi meron na..." Jenny's dagger eyes went on me. I just chuckled on them.
"Unfair! Kami itong hanap nang hanap pero walang mahanap tapos ikaw 'tong tamad na maghanap mauuna pang magka-jowa!" reklamo nila pareho.
"Someday, makakahanap din kayo," pampabulag-loob kong sabi sa kanila.
"Kung ako sa inyo h'wag niyo na hanapin. Hayaan niyong sila ang maghanap sa inyo," dagdag ko pa
"Tangina ka! May jowa ka lang kaya mo nasasabi 'yan."
"Pero in fairness ang guwapo ni boyfriend ah?" si Marina.
"Maganda rin naman kasi si Casper!" Jenny caressed my hair and then eventually he pulled my hair down.
"Haba ng hair ah!" then we all laughed...
I took my leave a month after he proposed to me, sakto ay wedding anniversary ng kanyang magulang and he invited me. He said that he will announce it that day too that we're already engaged. I couldn't be more happy these past few days.
The day came where it is his parent's wedding anniversary. Sinundo niya ako sa bahay. Nagulat si Mama nang makita si King pero tingin ko napagtanto naman niya agad na nagkabalikan kami kaya hindi na siya nang-usisa pa.
We arrived at their house, which is just the venue of the said party, at exactly 7 pm. May mga nakita akong pamilyar na tao at isa na doon ang pamilya ni Papa.
King's gripped on my hand became tighter. Dumeretso kami sa loob ng kanilang bahay. Nadatnan namin doon ang kanyang magulang. His father is in tuxedo same with King and his mother is wearing a gold gown that is fitted beautifully to her. They both smiled when they saw us.
"Happy Wedding Anniversary po, Tita and Tito," bati ko sa kanila.
They were so pleased to see me here. Agad akong niyakap ng kanyang Mommy at hinalikan sa pisngi.
"Thank you, Casper. Thank you for coming here," she cheerfully said. Bahagya akong nahiya kaya tumingin ako kay King na ngayon ay nakangisi sa akin.
I just smiled on him too.
Nagpatuloy ang party hanggang sa kainan na. Someone talked to King kaya naiwan ulit ako. Kukuha ulit sana ako ng wine nang banggain ako ng isang babae. To my surprised it was Celine...
It's been five years since I saw her and I must say she's gotten more beautiful. She's wearing a champagne colored off shoulder dress with a slit on the side. I am wearing an emerald dress with deep v-neck design.
Among all people who are here, I guess she's the only one who isn't pleased to see me here.
"Hi," I greeted her though she didn't respond. Aalis na sana ako kasi wala naman akong mapapala sa kanya nang higitin niya ang braso ko dahilan para matigil ako sa paglalakad.
"Why are you here?" she asked.
"King invited me here."
"Why would my fiancé invite you here?" nagtaas siya ng kilay. What did she say? I want to laugh... Delusional.
I just shrugged.
"Tita wants me for his son and not you. We were bound to marry each other," mariin niyang sabi. I took a deep breath before I looked her in the eye... calmly.
"Congrats, then." I smirked. Binawi ko mula sa pagkakahawak niya ang braso ko at nagmartsa na paalis. I came here not to create a scene and fight. Hindi ko siya papatulan. I've changed... and it doesn't hurt to see them anymore. Magpapadala na naman ba ako sa galit ko? Hindi na... Hindi na rin naman ako galit e.
Nasa likod na ako ng bahay nila King at papunta na sana sa garden nila nang makita ko si Papa na sinusundan ako. I admit I was shocked to see him here. What is he doing here?
"Kakausapin ko si Celine mamaya. Nakita ko ang ginawa niya sa iyo kanina. Pasensiya ka na," he apologized.
"Ayos lang po ako. Umalis na lang ako doon para... iwas gulo," sabi ko. He seemed very hesitant at first but he managed to speak again.
"K-kumusta ka?" si Papa.
"Ayos lang po," kaswal kong sabi at tipid na ngumiti sa kanya.
"I heard from King that you're working in Manila, in one of the biggest electric corporations there. Congratulations," he said.
Tumango ako at ngumiti sa kanya.
"Opo. Salamat po."
Silence enveloped between us after that. The night is cold but I feel warm... my heart is warm. Just by talking to him, the longing I am feeling within me was filled. Filled enough that I must say I am contented with just this simple talk.
"I'm... I'm sorry," Papa said. "Wala akong mukhang maihaharap sana sa iyo ngayon pero hindi ko papalagpasin ang araw na ito na hindi ka makausap kaya patawad sa lahat... anak."
My lips parted. Years of longing and here I am talking to my father like it's my first time talking to him. Sa tagal ba naman ng panahon na hindi ko siya nakausap parang nakalimutan ko na rin siya. Ngayong kaharap ko siya ngayon at humihingi siya ng tawad... isa ang napagtanto ko... Kahit anong mangyari, hahanap-hanapin ko pa rin ang ganitong pagkakataon na makausap ang Tatay ko. It's not that I want to be part of his world, matagal ko na tanggap na hindi na kami ang pamilya ni Papa, but more likely after all, I am his daughter and of course it's normal for me to seek attention from him... just a little bit. Masaya ako ngayon, kasi pinagbigyan niya ako. Masaya ako ngayon kasi kausap ko siya.
Should I... hug him? o hindi na lang? I don't know... Baka hindi na rin p'wede. Ah, ayos na ito, Casper, at least you two talked.
"I already forgave you," I said. His lips parted. "Napagtanto ko kasi na kahit anong mangyari... Tatay ko pa rin kayo. You're the one who inspired me. Because of you I learned how to dream bigger and before, you are my role model. Of course I am hurt, so much pain when you left us. It takes years for us to move on. I admit, when you left, I changed a lot... Nagkaroon ako ng problema mismong sarili ko at sa mga taong nakapaligid sa akin at lahat ng sakit kinimkim ko lang kaya noong makita kita ulit, sobra ang galit ko sa iyo at sa pamilya mo."
I went closer to him. I looked at his face... Noong bata ako, sobrang mahal na mahal na mahal ko si Papa. While looking at his face, I want to cry... If I cry, would he hug me like he used to do before every time I cry? If I cry to him would he caressed my hair and comfort me just like before?
"Don't worry, Mama is okay. Napatawad ka na rin po niya... matagal na."
Tumalikod na ako sa kanya at nag-umpisang maglakad. I stopped and forgot to tell something to him.
"Hindi na rin po pala nag-asawa at naghanap si Mama. After all this time, though years have already passed, it's still you, Papa." I emphasized the last word.
At tuluyan na akong umalis palayo sa kanya...
~~