Phoenix lay in bed for the rest of the day after the attack. Completely unaware and silent. Unsure of what to do with herself. Her thoughts and feelings were attacking her from all sides and all she could think about was that feeling. His hands on her skin, the breathe on her neck. She wanted to scrub her skin and never stop but she didn't. She didn't have the energy so instead, stayed in bed. Stayed quiet and didn't disturb anyone. Their presence alone made her feel worse.
She wished her mum was alive right now. Being surrounded by men was far from what she wanted. Men were cruel and deceitful. Her mother would be gentle and kind. Her smile would be bright and sparkly. Her embrace would make Phoenix feel safe but Phoenix couldn't have that. Instead, she was stuck with men. Two men that didn't understand her. That wanted the best for her but didn't even know what that was.
So she stayed in bed, curled up and trying her best to just survive. Trying to deal with whatever emotions were clouding her. As the day went on, the thought stayed and she wanted nothing more than to cry and scream and sob but she couldn't. Crying would bring attention to her and she wanted the men to leave her alone. She wanted to be alone.
"Phoenix?" The soft voice of Obi-Wan called. It was probably around evening time when she heard him. Her body felt heavy as she turned over. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she slowly pushed herself to sit up. Her stomach growled in protest and the nausea suddenly hit her like a wave. She realised that she really should have eaten.
"Yes," She responded, her voice came out croaker than she expected. It was fragile and she was sure it cracked even with that single word. Her hand rested in her hair, pushing it back as she swallowed the lump that had already appeared in her throat.
"I made you dinner. I'll leave it out here for you," He said and Phoenix found herself smiling. He had been thoughtful enough to make her food. It was strange how the simple gesture made her feel a little better. Slowly she pushed herself off the bed and walked to the door. With a press of a button it opened and Obi-Wan stood on the other side.
"Thank you," Phoenix said as she reached out to take the tray. Obi-Wan smiled and nodded, a courteous formal nod that made her feel like just another mission to him. She sighed and quickly pushed those thoughts to one side. He then turned away and walked away. Phoenix watched, a strange longing in her heart but she knew she wouldn't like him being near.
As much as Obi-Wan made her smile and feel alive again, he wasn't going to fix her. Nobody could just fix what had happened.
***
It had been a few weeks since they had caught the assassins that had been terrorising Phoenix. It had been a few weeks, most of which Phoenix had spent in bed. Just trying to convince herself that nothing bad had happened and she had duties to fulfil. Eventually she got up and she was ready to face the world. She had spoken to her father and he already had the best therapist he could find ready for her whenever she needed to talk.
She was thankful for Obi-Wan for that. It made the situation easier. She didn't have to tell him, he just knew what was wrong. He knew how to help her and what to do. Those few days after the attack, he kept his distance but he was her sole caretaker. The man she wanted desperately to call her husband had looked after her all he could. Held her when she wanted to, left when she wanted to be alone. He had done what she needed and given her the space she needed.
Eventually she began to trust him again, speaking to her father was the last step and it had taken weeks of convincing. Weeks of stress with the legal issues that they were facing. Weeks to just get her to say something but she did. Her father wanted to help and Obi-Wan was still going to do anything he could. The touch of the man felt less real now. She had spent countless nights with Obi-Wan and it helped replace those feelings. Obi-Wan replaced his touch and made her feel lighter. Not fixed, never fixed but it made the load just a little lighter.
Now, he had brought Republic prison ships to Mith so that the assassins and Jax could go on trial for treason. The sweet justice she felt as she watched the Republic men take away Jax was something she was sure she would never feel again. She knew that getting Jax in prison was unlikely but she was going to try. She had Obi-Wan and she had her father. She had the backing of her planet and most of the Senate. She could do this.
But today was not a day to think about that. Today was a day of celebration and leaving. Obi-Wan would be returning to Coruscant and it left Phoenix feeling a little more down than she should. The two had grown so close, she didn't want to miss him all over again. Not after the years that they had spent apart. She didn't want that but it was necessary.
Thankfully this time it would not be years. It would be weeks. Phoenix would be returning to Coruscant in a few weeks time for Senate business and hopefully the trial that was sure to go ahead. Those days were the ones she was looking forward to the most. The trial gave her an excuse to see Obi-Wan and the Senate gave her an excuse to be on Coruscant at all.
It would all work out, she knew it would and she even requested Obi-Wan to be her personal protector should she ever need that again. The reply had not come through but she hoped it would be approved. The time would be an excuse to see Obi-Wan. An excuse to still be in contact. An excuse she needed.
Their relationship was complicated and she knew that it would probably stay like that for a while. They were both madly in love with each other but they couldn't marry. They couldn't even really be together except in secret. Obi-Wan like the idea of being a secret couple though. Going against the Code and loving each other despite the odds. Phoenix loved that idea too but she knew it would be a slow road for them both.
"Your father is right. You do love to daydream," Obi-Wan said as the two sat across from each other. They were sat on the back porch. Obi-Wan reading a book on meditation while Phoenix drank her tea and stared off at the rising sun. She rolled her eyes at his words but smiled nonetheless, hiding it with the tea.
"It's a good way to process my thoughts," She admitted as she looked at him. The sun was climbing up the horizon slowly. The sky a burnt orange against the white clouds that had turned a golden hue in the early morning, "I was just thinking about the prison ships and you leaving," She muttered. Obi-Wan sighed and looked at her. He placed the book down and offered a hand out to her. She cautiously took it. Still sometimes too scared to take his hand. It was silly really but she couldn't help it. It made her nervous.
"I'll always be here, little one. Just a comm away and you'll be on Coruscant soon. I'm not going anywhere. Not again. I promise you," He said as he looked into her eyes. And as she looked at him, she knew that he wasn't lying. He was telling the truth. Being utterly and entirely truthful which made her smile.
Keeping their hands locked together, she shuffled closer and allowed herself to rest her head on his shoulder. Letting out a soft exhale before letting the smile spread across her lips. This somehow felt so perfect and she was happy. Content, for the first time in so long. She had found love, she had the position she wanted and she felt happy. Maybe this is what life was always supposed to feel like but now she knew for certain. This was how she always wanted to live. With him and happiness bubbling in her chest.
Things weren't perfect. Lots of things were still messy, undecided and unsure but they would work out in the end. She was getting the help she needed and Obi-Wan would be with her every step of the way. Whether they were a galaxy apart or right next to each other. They were going to get through this and moments of happiness like that early morning were ones Phoenix cherished more than anything.
THE END!
***
𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ! it is the end!! i hope y'all enjoyed this story, it was definitely fun for me to write so i hope you enjoyed reading it <3 thank you for all the support on this book the last few months (we hit 4k!! ehhhh) so thank you so fucking much! y'all are amazing!