JACE
Going from living the bachelor life to being a husband and a dad-to-be happened in the blink of an eye, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I know some people on the outside might look at Cat and me and think that everything is moving way too fast for us, but it feels right, that’s all I have to say about that. Catarina has molded perfectly into my family as I knew that she would. Not only has she bonded with Ember, Harlow, and Stef, but she’s helped support Clemmy a lot too.
Clemmy gave birth three weeks ago and it is pretty cool having babies back on the ranch. I was old enough to remember what is was like when all my aunts and eventually my mom were having babies. I swear it made everything better from holidays to birthdays to just random days where we’d have dinner and there were kids crawling and toddling around.
Peyton brought that back and now we have Vivienne, even though she’s only three weeks old. Before we know it, it’ll be Lyle and Harlow’s turn to add to the gang and August can’t be here soon enough so Cat and I can have our baby. She’s only twelve weeks along now, so just barely getting out of the first trimester. She still doesn’t look pregnant, but in the last couple of weeks, her morning sickness has eased a bit. That’s good because I was really starting to worry about her. Her midwife swore that it was normal, but some mornings I was ready to rush her to the ER.
She’s still sleeping a lot though, it isn’t unusual when I head back home for lunch that she’s curled up on the couch sleeping. Deacon and I have gotten used to making our way up the stairs quietly and eating old lunches so we don’t wake her up with the microwave noise or anything. Have I mentioned that Deacon is basically the best brother ever?
“Hey Jace, can you help me clean the workhorse stables? Lyle needed to head back home early.” Granger grabbed me right before I was ready to clean up for the evening. I had gotten Piston back into his stable and rubbed down for the night.
“Is everything okay with Harlow?” Being so close to her due date, any last-minute change of plans or calls from Harlow had us all on edge.
“He didn’t say much, but he wasn’t in a panic or anything, so I think it is something non-labor related.”
“Okay good. I’m ready to head over there when you are, let me just text Cat and let her know I’m going to be a bit late.”
Granger nods his head in my direction, “Yep, see you over there.”
Me: Hey beautiful, might be late for dinner, Lyle had to head out early tonight.
Catarina: Everything okay with Harlow?
Me: I said the same thing, sounds like all is okay.
Catarina: Okay good. Well, Deacon was heading out tonight, so I’m going to eat because otherwise, I’ll starve.
Me: Save room for dessert and I’ll make you a milkshake tonight.
Catarina: You’re my hero.
I tuck my phone into my back pocket and head next door to the barn that holds the stables for our workhorses. We don’t typically use our personal horses for daily work, they aren’t all the right breed for that. We also have a few temp ranchers working with us right now to prep for the upcoming Spring. I grab one of the rakes and start mucking the front stable while Granger pulls in new hay to replace what is bad. Together we work through three of the stables without saying much. We’ve been working together for years now, we hardly need to talk about it anymore.
“Your mom said Cat was over for lunch today.”
“Yeah, she’s been feeling better so she wanted to see everybody and of course walk over and check out Vivienne.”
Granger chuckles, “I’m sure your mom has been over there seventeen times already today. I swear she’s having baby fever and I’m trying to remind her that I’m fifty-six fucking years old and there is no way in hell we’re having another baby. We’ve still got years of your sister still at home.”
“At least you’re going to be grandparents soon, I’m sure that’ll help.”
He quickly turns and glares at me, “Don’t remind me.”
“What?”
“Nothing, just, it is weird thinking about you being a father. Your mom is excited, you’re right, it’ll probably kill the baby fever because she’s going to love being a grandma, but I’m telling you, you’ve basically aged her more this year than any other year and there was that one time your heart stopped, so that’s saying a lot.”
I stop mucking and lean the rake against the side of the stable, “Did you really need my help with this or is this one of these Granger talks?”
“I needed help, but I guess I could have asked your brother. He was quick to leave though, something about a hot date.”
“Yeah, he told Cat he was going out tonight. Probably going to end up at Stef’s.”
“Mmmhmm.”
“But back to us. Can you just get right to it because I’m not in the ‘beat around the bush’ mood?”
“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, because I really do love Catarina, but the two of you haven’t been together long and she’s already pregnant. Are you sure…”
“Oh, I know you’re not going to ask me if I’m sure that baby is mine!”
“It is a valid question and just something I’m hoping you’ve considered.”
“First of all, I don’t have to consider it because I trust her and I know that before she was with me it had been a long time. There was nobody else, she’s not a fucking slut or something, Granger.”
“Don’t raise your voice at me, I didn’t say that.”
“You might as well have. And second, even if she was with somebody else and there was a chance the baby wasn’t mine, I wouldn’t give a fuck because I love her and I love that baby. Anybody in this family should know that you don’t have to be a biological parent to be a parent. Did you give Ember this same talk about Peyton?”
“Ember isn’t my daughter and Miles isn’t my son.”
“Yeah, well neither am I.”
I storm out of the barn, hearing Granger let out a string of expletives as I walk out. I don’t get more than a few feet outside the barn when I hear him yelling at me. I turn around, ready to fight, but rather than seeing the strong as hell tough guy, I see something softer in his eyes.
“Jace, I’m sorry.” I shrug at him and he removes his hat and runs his hand through his hair, fisting the ends slightly. “I have spent almost my entire life here with this family and it has become second nature for me to protect you all.”
“I don’t need your protection, I’m not a kid anymore.”
“I know, but when that baby is born, you tell me that there will be a day when you step back and stop trying to protect them. Your dad was my best friend, your mom like a sister to me. The days you and your brother were born were days that I’ll remember just as much as I’ll remember when Ella was born because you have ALWAYS been so fucking important to me.”
Granger motions over to a bench and we both take a seat. “When your dad died, I made a promise to him that I would take over for him. Even if your mom and I never fell in love and got married, you were always going to be my responsibility, you and Deacon were always going to be the closest thing I had to my own kids. Every skinned knee, every broken bone, well that was more Deacon than you…., when your heart stopped, mine did too. And for years...YEARS after your transplant I would wake up in a panic worried that you didn’t take your meds.”
“That first winter after your transplant, you got a cold, you might not remember, but your mom and I were so worried because they told us your immune system was shit and you needed to stay healthy. It was a cold, we all get them, but for three days I swear I didn’t sleep because I was worried if I fell asleep, something was going to happen to you. When you told Brian you wanted to work on the ranch, my first instinct was to say no, it was too strenuous and too dangerous.”
“Why are you telling me all of this?”
“Because in the last four months I’ve felt like a huge kick to my stomach and had the wind knocked out of me because you’re a grown man, making adult choices, getting married, starting a family…..it’s fucking scary because I don’t know how to not react knowing you don’t need me anymore.”
“It isn’t that I don’t need you. Fuck, Granger, you know how when Clemmy said not to look for Douche Robbie that you agreed to stop? You decided to give her what she wanted and let her be?”
“Yeah, that wasn’t easy either.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t, but it doesn’t mean you’re not going to be there for her, right? Like if he walked back on this ranch tomorrow, you’d probably throw a hood over him and drag him into the cellar, right?”
“Damn straight I would.”
“See, you know how to back off without stopping completely. I’m not asking you to never be involved in my life and not be there for me. I’m just saying stop trying to find shit that you think you need to fix. And don’t fucking disrespect my wife.”
“You’ve grown some balls, huh?”
“You didn’t raise a coward.”
“You’re right, I raised a decent man with a good head on his shoulders. I’m sorry that I forgot for a moment.”
“You know I’m still going to need you for things, right? Like I don’t fucking know anything about having a baby. Did I tell you Cat wants to have a home birth?”
“A home birth? The hell would she want to do that for?”
“She wants a more calming environment to let her body do what it knows how to do. So, yeah that’s going to be fun.”
“She’s going to do great. You are too. I don’t know anything about having a baby either, but I did alright helping with you boys and Ella’s my beautiful soul, but that was mostly your mom. You’ve always been great with the babies though, Jace. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m sorry too, Granger, for saying that I’m not your son. Because I know if I do half as good of a job raising my baby and you’ve done, they’ll be a good human being.”
Granger reaches over and puts his arm around me. It is the closest thing he’s going to give me to a hug, but that’s all good, neither of us is that kind of person. These are the most emotions we’re going to want to share for the next few years.
“We good?”
“Yeah, we’re good. I’m still pissed at you though, so I’m going to go have dinner with my wife and make you finish up the last stall yourself.”
“I deserve that.”
When I open the door to our home, Catarina is at the kitchen table dipping a roll into what looks like beef stew. I walk behind her and press a kiss against the top of her head. “Hey! I was expecting you to take longer.”
“Yeah, finished up early. I’m going to take a quick shower then eat. Smells amazing in here, baby.”
“It’s good too. Hurry up, remember we have the place to ourselves tonight.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me.
“Well,” I peel off my shirt and toss it onto the ground, “why don’t you come join me in the shower then?”
I see the fire in her eyes and I know what that means, we might run out of hot water tonight.