The Fourth Sunday of Advent. A mere six days remained before Christmas Morning itself! What started out as a little side project soon turned into a remarkable production- Sister Eulalia and Sister Marisol's performance of Silent Night with the ducks on handbells. Father Alvadeo loved the idea, and once Mother Superior saw Eulalia demonstrate how well she'd trained the ducks, she gave them free range in her sewing room to make Sister Marisol a nice robe for the Christmas mass. Of course, the sisters got a bit carried away and made robes for the ducks too.
It took them all night, but they were both proud of the end result- a beautiful white gown with a crucifix embroidered into the collar and a little sailor hat to top it all off. Without her coif on, Marisol tied her hair back into a long ponytail, making her blush a bit. She wasn't used to showing her hair to people.
"You really didn't have to do this," she said bashfully, as Flori and Eula showed her off to Sister Carmen and Sister Gabriella.
"Like we would ever waste a chance to go inside Mother Superior's sewing room by ourselves!" said Floriana, scratching at her band-aids. (Of course she'd managed to prick herself several times over the night.)
On the table next to them, the ducks were out cold. They'd been helping all night of course.
"I can't wait for the performance!" Sister Carmen gushed. "We're going to knock their socks off!"
"I don't think anyone else knows how smart these ducks are," Gabriella remarked. "I imagine they'll be quite alarmed!"
"Oh goodness!" Marisol laughed, blushing even more at the thought of it.
When they showed Mother Superior the fruits of their labor, she was even more delighted. She hugged all three of them, and gave them the day off. Father Alvadeo was also impressed.
"You'll make quite a splash this Saturday," he said.
"An understatement!" Mother Superior declared. "You're an angel, Sister Marisol! And soon everyone in town will get to see it!"
Marisol didn't like the sound of that.
She'd gotten rid of most of her performance anxiety first with her friends and then with the ducks, but with the whole town? All of Fornelos de Gende packed into the cathedral while she sang? It made her sick to her stomach.
It was such a pretty robe and she'd be doing it such a great disservice if she did poorly! What would everyone say? The prospect of having performance anxiety gave her even more anxiety in an endless cycle. She wasn't ready for this, she had to say something. But they'd already spent so much time training the ducks and making the robe for her! Why hadn't she put a stop to it before it got so out of hand?
They came back down from Mother Superior's room, stopping to admire the snow beyond the windows. Looking down on the courtyard, they took in the fresh blanket of snow covering it like a layer of frosting on a cake. Fortunately, it was overcast so they could look at it without going snow-blind.
"I can't wait," said Floriana. "Just six more days before we get to pile the presents under the tree!"
"You'll love what I got you," Eulalia remarked.
"Ahh, don't say that!" Flori groaned. "Now I'll be obsessing over it all week!"
"I know," she said, with a smirk.
"Give me one hint!"
"It's small."
Flori looked at her.
"That's it?"
"That's one hint, so..."
Flori huffed at her, and they went down the hallway in the direction of the kitchens.
"I'm gonna have some breakfast and then go off to bed," said Flori. "Marisol, aren't you tired?"
"A little bit," she said. "I wasn't up as long as you were. I don't feel like eating though."
"You should though," Eulalia remarked. "We don't want you to get sick before the performance."
"Oh, of course!" she said. The way I'm feeling, I'll probably get sick either way.
Marisol sat beside the two of them, picking up a plate of eggs and putting ketchup on them. All the while, her mind raced through different scenarios of the impending performance, and none of them were pretty. Would they laugh at her? Get angry? Be bored? She genuinely didn't know which was worse.
Her hands shook. She couldn't help herself. And sadly, since Eula and Flori were fatigued and Marisol was nervous, they completely forgot she was still wearing the performance robe.
Marisol took a huge bite of eggs, too much for her to chew. A large chunk of it, smothered in ketchup fell right on her chest, leaving a long smear of red. She shrieked, standing up, trying to get away from it.
Floriana almost choked on her own food when she saw the awful stain.
"Oh no no no no no no no no..."
Eulalia simply stared at her wide-eyed. Around them, other nuns looked over to see what was going on.
Floriana held her head in her hands.
"Sister Marisol, how could you?" she wasn't angry... merely disappointed.
Marisol's eyes stung, and she ran from the room before she broke down crying.
Why had she been so careless?
She found her way to one of the cold open hallways, with the stone arches for windows. No one else came out here, due to the snow. She pulled the robe off, staring at it. The smear looked terrible. Ketchup and white cloth do not mix very well. Crushed by what she'd just done, she clenched it one hand and buried her face in her knees, weeping.
She should've known she wasn't cut out for this. Right from the beginning, she'd told Sister Floriana she could never do such a thing. Why hadn't she listened? But it wasn't Flori's fault. It was no one but hers. She let herself be pulled along, rehearsing alongside Eulalia and doing the recital for the other sisters. She could've said something at any time. And now, after the two of them had stayed up all night working so hard on such a beautiful garment, she'd let her nervousness wear her away until she made an embarrassing accident. The gown was ruined and it was all her fault.
And worse still, she'd have to tell them that she wasn't doing the song either. She had to come clean about it. The town didn't need to see her embarrass herself- in truth, she didn't want them to be proud of her either. She just wanted to be a regular nun, serving the Monastery with discipline and compassion. Nothing else. She wondered what they would say.
Marisol sat in the cold until she couldn't do so any longer, the tear tracks on her face singing in pain. She walked back inside to come face to face with Sister Floriana. The blond nun wasn't angry at least, she could see that.
Flori saw how Marisol had been crying, still holding the robe in too.
Flori's eyes welled up and she hugged Marisol.
"It's okay. Don't cry, it's okay."
"But I ruined everything!" Marisol wept. "The gown's covered in ketchup, and I just can't perform in front of an audience, Flori! I should've told you before this!"
"We can clean the gown," said Floriana. "We can even replace it if we have to. I only care about you, Marisol."
"I know you care about me, but you've been working so hard on all the preparations!" she said. "I led you on, I ruined Christmas!"
"You haven't ruined Christmas!" Floriana insisted. She stared at Marisol deeply. "Even if you didn't sing for us, it's okay. You remember the story of Mary and Martha?"
Marisol simply nodded.
As it says in the Bible, Jesus visited the house of His friends, Mary and Martha of Bethany, to teach them things. While Martha made preparations and did chores around the house, Mary stayed at Jesus' feet, listening to what He had to say. Martha got mad, demanding to know why she had to do all the work. "Tell her to help me!" she said. But Jesus replied, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
"But what does that have to do with what I did?" Marisol asked Flori.
"Because you need to calm down and remember the real reason why we're doing all this," she said. "It's not about you, me, or Sister Eulalia. It's not about the mass, or even the ducks. This is all part of a celebration, remember?"
"Of course," she said.
"You don't need to feel bad about ruining everything. First off, you really didn't. Stains wash out. Second, Christmas is a day of joy. That means, no matter what happens, we feel God's love for us. I think that's why the Republicans are losing. They can experience happiness when they win a battle or two, or when they get reinforcements from the communists. But only our men can feel real joy- that our lives have meaning beyond what any man can create."
"But what does that have to do with Christmas?"
"I'm saying that you can't ruin Christmas, because that's the day that Jesus Christ is born. Nothing can change that one fact. Don't be worried and upset. Focus on what is better."
Floriana put a hand on her shoulder, and hugged Marisol again. Marisol sighed, still crying just a bit.
"I am really sorry, though."
"I didn't mean to make you think I was angry. I'm sorry too."
Floriana took a look at the robe again.
"Come on. We can wash this thing! And for what it's worth, I would still really like to hear you sing."
Marisol nodded.
Because after all, only one thing mattered. The people wouldn't be focused on her, they would be focused on joy- our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Silent Night was a song about holiness. If she poured her heart and soul into it, she could not fail.
"I would love to sing, Floriana. I promise you, I'll make you proud!"
Floriana smiled.
"I know you will."