Remember what you must do when they undervalue you,
when they think your softness is your weakness,
when they treat your kindness like it is their advantage.
You awaken every dragon, every wolf, every monster that sleeps inside of you and you remind them what hell looks like when it wears the skin of a gentle human.
- Unknown
"So, M'lady, are you ready to leave your tower?" Adrian smirked as I was putting on my shoes. I could finally leave the Hospital Wing. My arm was still wrapped in bandages and I could barely use it, but at least I could go out and attend classes again. Adrian put all my get well cards in a bag and helped me off the bed.
"Thank you, kind sir", I smirked and took my bag.
"What classes have you got?" he asked.
"Double transfiguration", I sighed. I didn't mind transfiguration, but was it necessary to double the period?
"Oh, good luck with that", he grinned. I got some strange looks when we walked through the hallway and I hated it. Most of them were looks of pity and there wasn't anything in the world I hated more than pity. I didn't want to be seen as weak. I was strong, I was a Selwyn.
"Hey, chin up", Adrian said, nudging my shoulder. I forced a smile, but I couldn't shake off the anxious feeling. I never used to struggle with anxiety, but it was a feeling that was becoming more and more familiar lately. I couldn't let it show, though.
"What about you?" I asked to change the subject and took a deep breath. He didn't get to answer as Snape interrupted him.
"Miss Selwyn, my office please", he said and motioned me to follow him. I glanced down at my watch, but it obviously wasn't there. It had to be almost time for class, but it wasn't like I really had a choice, so I followed Snape to his office.
"I see that you are well again. However, I think it's best if I give you and mister Malfoy a new partner", he said eventually as he sat down at his desk. "Or not?"
Was Snape asking my opinion? What did I want? Malfoy had been somewhat nice last night, but it was just a matter of time before we'd clash again and I'd rather not have a repetition of Monday's events. I still disliked him. He was the reason I could barely feel my arm, just because he was a petty little child. Besides, Potions with Malfoy was no fun. There was no cooperation and it was just all around stressful.
"I do not know why you two don't get along and I do not want to know under any circumstance, but I cannot have that tension disrupting my class again. So if you think it will, I suggest we change the seating arrangement."
But what if I got a terrible partner instead? At least Malfoy was good at Potions. This really was not my day.
"Yes, I think that's for the best", I said. He nodded and then sent me out. I grabbed my bag and quickly left the office. I really had to calm down. I rubbed my face and put on the signature stern look before entering the Transfiguration classroom.
"Sorry professor McGonagall, professor Snape had requested to speak with me", I apologised as I entered the classroom. She simply nodded, so I took a seat besides Tracey. Daphne was seated next to Malfoy, blushing slightly as she observed him secretly.
I caught Malfoy's gaze and he forced out a half-smile. Was he going to be nice to me from now on? It was difficult to imagine, but then at least the injured arm would be somewhat worth it. I smiled back to show goodwill. I didn't like him and I probably never would, but if he was finally being sufferable after 15 years of the opposite, I had to embrace it.
Luckily it was my left arm that had been injured, so I could still take notes during class. That didn't make the class go by any faster, though. The entirety of the double period was spent on revision of the Switching Spell, which hadn't even been difficult last year.
"Luckily we don't have any classes this afternoon", Daphne jawned as we walked to the Great Hall for lunch after class. "I'm so going to take a nap or I will not be able to keep my eyes open during Astronomy tonight." Right, it was Wednesday.
We walked to lunch with Malfoy and Blaise, because Daphne did not leave Malfoy's side.
"How's your arm?" Malfoy asked, surprising me again. It was so odd to hear him talk to me in a non-offensive way.
"It's fine. Still looks a bit crappy, but should be fixed up in a few days.
"Good", he mumbled.
"Mister Malfoy", Snape said when we passed the Potion's classroom. Malfoy frowned and walked in. Daphne immediately stopped to wait for him.
"Let's go, I'm starving", I said and grabbed Tracey's arm.
"Wait up, we're coming along, I'm sure it won't take long", Daphne said. Tracey shrugged and walked back, so I followed her reluctantly. It was weird now that Daphne and Malfoy were hanging out. They weren't dating, not even close, but they did flirt, causing Daphne to be around him as often as she could. But she seemed happy so the least I could do was keep my opinion to myself.
It didn't take long indeed and when Malfoy walked out, he looked visibly angry.
"You really requested to get a different partner, Selwyn?" he sneered, stopping right in front of me, his grey eyes cold. His mood had turned sour very quickly.
"I didn't ask for it, Snape suggested it himself. He didn't want the tension to interrupt his lesson", I said, straightening my back.
"Sure he did. Bet you did it just to boycott me to get a higher grade." This boy had serious anger issues.
"Unlike what you might think, Malfoy, not everything revolves around you", I said, clenching my jaw.
"Of course. Coincidentally, I'm with Crabbe now. The git can't brew a potion to save his life. Bet you suggested that too, isn't it?" I rolled my eyes at his comment.
"No I did not and you can stop with the accusations, thank you very much", I crossed my arms. I had been naive to think he'd suddenly be somewhat less unpleasant. Not even a burned arm could get him to be nice for longer than 24 hours.
"You'll regret this", he simply hissed before walking away.
"Don't you dare threaten me, you vile piece of-"
"Eleanor", Tracey said, putting a hand on my shoulder. She motioned towards Daphne, who stood there like a lost puppy. Why in the bloody hell did she like that arse?
"Daphne, are you okay?" I asked.
"Seriously, Eleanor?" she said.
"What, seriously?"
"Can't you at least try to be civil towards him?" Daphne sounded slightly annoyed, despite the sad look.
"Oh, like the way he is acting? Why should I be civil towards him if he treats me like that?"
"Because I really like him!" Daphne snapped. "I really, really like him, but every time it's heading in a somewhat promising direction, I'm back to zero because you two get into a massive fight."
"Then what was I supposed to do? Snape asked me if I wanted a different partner and I said yes, that's not a crime! It's not my fault he overreacts like a child!"
"Girls, calm down", Tracey said, slowly putting herself between the two of us.
"I get that you're sad, Daphne, but Eleanor is right. She did nothing wrong." Daphne didn't reply and looked down at her shoes.
"I know", she said eventually. "I just ..."
I sighed and rubbed my face.
"What do you even see in him, Daphne?" She kept looking at her shoes, shrugging slightly.
"I don't know", she mumbled. "He doesn't act like that towards me. He's actually quite nice, just not towards you."
"Well, there's nothing I can do about that."
"Okay", Tracey said, trying to mediate the conversation. "What if, he gets one last chance. Daphne, you talk to him about it, tell him how you feel about it and ask him to be nicer. Eleanor, you give him one more chance."
I knew that it wasn't really a choice, I just needed to agree and get this over with. I was not in the mood and so very close to boiling over. If this continued longer, I'd fall out with Daphne very quickly. How dare she put the blame on me?
But I did what I had to do. Daphne went to look for Malfoy whilst Tracey and I dropped our bags in our dorms and then headed to lunch. Daphne walked in with Malfoy and she was beaming, but Malfoy looked just as sour as fifteen minutes ago. They sat away far enough so we didn't have to converse though, which I did not mind.
After lunch we headed to the common room for a very well-deserved nap. Unfortunately, Daphne had suddenly postponed her nap as she dragged us to the couches, where Malfoy and Blaise were already sitting, very much against my will. Do it for Daphne, I kept repeating in my head.
"Let me go, thank you very much", I mumbled and pulled my hand away, sitting down on the couch furthest away from Malfoy. I watched him as he motioned Daphne over and she gladly sat down next to him. She annoyed me so much and I hated it. She was supposed to be my best friend, but right now I just wanted her far away from me.
What did she see in him? He was smart and he was rather handsome, but besides that? I could not come up with any other good traits.
"Stop staring at me, will you?" Malfoy sneered as he noticed my gaze.
"In your dreams, Malfoy", I huffed and averted my eyes, clenching my jaw to keep a straight face.
"Draco, we talked about this", Daphne said firmly. "Don't be mean, she's my best friend. There's no need to be rude."
Malfoy didn't reply. Daphne was right. Why did he always have to be so rude to me? Sure I wasn't nice to him either, but never so out of nowhere. I acted defensively because he was so out to get me. Why díd he hate me so much?
I couldn't deal with this now. I'd give him his last chance another time.
"I'm going to our dorm", I stated. I was in a terrible mood and staying here was not helping.
"Out of the way", I snapped at some giggly first years who stood in front of the staircase. They backed off and looked properly scared, but I couldn't care less. Today just sucked.
I tried to relax and take a short nap, but my brain wasn't allowing me to. Thoughts were racing around at impossible speed, increasing the odd sense of anxiety and anger.
I wanted to know why. I wanted to know why he had to be so rude all the time. He decided yesterday that he'd come and apologize and that had been nice, but then why the sudden one-eighty today? Couldn't he take his anger out on the Gryffindors like he usually did? And why for the love of god couldn't I ignore him? Why did I let him get to me? I knew that if he'd just as much as look at me weirdly today, I'd snap.
I breathed in and out a couple of times, relaxing as much as possible, focusing on the rising and falling of my chest. Today was just one of those days that nothing seemed to feel right. I felt so ... alone. Daphne and I disagreed on more things, but this really seemed to drive a wedge between us. Was that another thing Malfoy was going to ruin?
Just one more chance, right?