song for the chapter: i love you - little mix
14 weeks pregnant
"alex! wake up!"
i heard veronica call through the house as i tossed around in my bed. i opened my eyes and glanced over at the alarm clock. 2:34pm. ever since michael and i's fight, all i do is sleep. i don't see the point in getting up. there's nothing to do without michael here.
what if michael never comes back? i wouldn't blame him. this tour broke us. why did he have to go on tour? we wouldn't have any of these issues if he never went on that stupid tour. but it's not stupid. it's his job. i have to respect that.
there's just so much that could've been different. we wouldn't be fighting like we are now. we would be a happy family. everything wouldn't be as tense as it is now. i just want my life with michael back.
"go away!"
i yelled back. i heard veronica walk into my room and i stuffed a pillow over my face.
"wake up! you're not allowed to be sad anymore!"
veronica yelled as she hopped up on my bed and jumped on it.
"i'm not sad. i'm just...numb."
i said as veronica plopped down on my bed.
"well you need to cheer up. michael isn't coming back anytime soon and you know he would hate watching you be sad like this."
"he probably wouldn't care. i'm just a little whore, remember?"
i sighed as i picked at the blanket that laid across my lap.
"have you tried talking to him?"
"no. he won't answer."
"what about the other guys?"
"i haven't even tried."
"maybe i should call luke and see if i can get anything out of him."
veronica said as she picked her phone up and looked for luke's number in her phone. she picked luke's number on her phone and walked out of the room. while she was out in the hall, i got up out of my bed and put on some jeans and a t-shirt. i smiled as i looked in the mirror at my small bump.
it feels like the baby has been getting lost in translation during this time. i'm really excited about the baby. the more this pregnancy progresses, the more excited i get. but there's also that uncertainty that i have no idea where michael and i will be at that point. we might not even be friends when the baby comes. he might not even be in the picture anymore.
"how'd that go?"
i asked veronica as she walked back into the room.
"well, luke thinks that you should talk to him. he misses you a lot. i guess he hasn't been the same since the fight. he barley even wants to perform anymore. you know that's not michael."
veronica said. hearing that broke my heart. she's right, it's not like him. he lives to perform. sometimes i think he loves it for me. and to hear that's he's just sad and moping around breaks my heart.
"okay, i'll call him."
i said. i grabbed my phone off the nightstand, dialed michael's number, and put it on speaker phone.
"hello?"
i heard michael ask as he picked up. he didn't even sound like himself.
"hey. how are you?"
"i'm fine."
michael said.
"no you aren't. talk to me."
i said as michael sighed.
"i miss you. going on this tour was a terrible idea. i just wanna be home with you guys. i want everything to be okay again."
michael choked.
"i miss you too. i hate fighting like this. i want to be with you but...where's the trust?"
"i promise you can trust me. i'll never do anything like that again. i just want you back. please."
michael said. i looked up at veronica as tears fell down my face.
"okay. we can get back together. i love you."
"i love you too."
"okay, now go be a rockstar. and send me lots of photos."
"i will. tell the baby i love them."
"i will. bye."
"bye."
michael said as he hung up. i put my phone down and took a few breathe.
"how do you feel?"
veronica asked.
"better. i'm happy. i just hope he doesn't break my trust again."
i said with a smile. it does feel good that michael and i are back together. it feels like a missing puzzle piece has finally been put back where it belongs. we belong together. i've missed him so much and i hope we can just make it work and be happy even though he's still on tour. it's going to take a lot of work but i think we can do it. if our love can make it through this, our little family can make it through anything.