Mentions of suicide IN THIS CHAPTER READ WITH YOUR SELF AWARENESS LOVE YOU This is a long chapter
Tylee POV
I like to think I'm an optimist, but it's really hard to feel anything but bitter betrayal and hurt after everything that's happened, at least Kiyi and Iroh are doing well I can't say the same for Ursa. The Kyoshi warriors and I decided to stay in the palace for a while not just to make sure there are no more attacks but to give some support to the royal family specifically Zuko.
His mother hasn't been doing very well she took some more antidote for the poison but she's been on bed rest for the last week. Zuko's aura is all messed up because of it. He's filled with anxiety and bottled-up emotions I don't blame him I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all. One moment we're all in this unspoken grief and then the next trying to process a betrayal none of us saw coming.
I know Azula is in pain and she's blocking us all off but I didn't think she was still this determined to take the crown. I didn't think I would freeze up as much as I did seeing her again and I didn't realize how much I missed her until I saw she was alive.
The palace had a shift in energy which is a shame after how much effort Zuko spent trying to gain the servants and palace guards' trust back. at the beginning of his rule, the servants bowed and cried out for forgiveness for the smallest mistakes such as spilling tea or their children walking into a room where he was present, even after Zuko assured them he wouldn't hurt them and that the palace was a safe place for conversation it took a long time for them to even talk to us like real people. the Palace seems back to that scared aura it once was maids run out of the room they were talking in every time one of us enters, and I'm not even royalty. quiet gossip and rumors are spreading around the kingdom about what happened. Some people are saying that Azula killed Ursa Some people are saying her angry spirit is now cursing us.
I mean it's ridiculous hearing what people are saying about us I mean yes she's alive but only a few days before we were grieving and I guess the kingdom expects us to get back up and move on. They went straight back to calling her the wild Princess who lost her mind.
At the moment The girls and I are walking around the palace and helping out the servants as they take down the remaining flowers and ribbons.
It's depressing, to say the least seeing a funeral being shut down and cleaned up as if nothing ever happened. They take down the golden laced wreaths of yellow and white Lilys and chrysanthemums gifted from noble families. When Zuko's cousin prince LuTen died the flowers stayed up for weeks it's strange seeing them taken down so soon even if we know she's alive.
I don't know how she survived none of us do Katara said there was no way she could have survived that much blood loss without a transfusion and to our knowledge, she's the only blood bender alive. I remember seeing the blood in her hospital room the handprints she left on the floor I was shaken to my core seeing the blood-soaked sheets she must have fought so hard to survive that. Azula she never gives up on anything I couldn't imagine how scared she was being attacked in the middle of the night miles away from us.
What Kumara told me is telling me a different story entirely if she was telling the truth and Azula wrote me a note and she knew she was going to die why didn't she tell the guards how did she know she was going to be attacked. Unless she did it to herself, I- can't imagine that she's stubborn and just looking back at those sheets she wrapped around her wounds She didn't want to die right?
I don't know anymore I thought I knew who Azula was but it seems she's a different person than she even let me believe she was.
I spot a small pair of braids sitting out in the garden and I couldn't help myself from checking up on her. I walked out of the group told them I was going to check on the Princess.
Poor Kiyi so much has happened I can't imagine anybody's telling her what's going on. She was so young and was having a normal childhood when out of the blue she's swept into this family drama.
" Hi Kiyi what are you doing?"
she sparked up at my attention and bounced in place to show me what was in her hands
" I'm playing with my doll she can dance on the water with the turtle ducks"
she turned back to look at the water not trying to continue the conversation any longer
She seemed a little quieter than her usual self. She used to talk until she was out of breath.
" How are you feeling"
" Better my stomach stopped hurting after I drank the medicine"
"Oh that's good but I meant your emotions I bet you're feeling pretty confused right now"
" I am.. Mommy isn't feeling well, and Zuko isn't playing with me anymore and everyone is upset"
Her voice trembled when she spoke while she fiddled with the hair of her doll. I sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug.
" Why is everyone mad at me?"
" Oh no no sweetie nobodies mad at you why do you think that"
" Well because Azula was mad at me and then everyone stopped playing with me and she tried to hurt mommy and uncle and then they stopped playing with me to, is it my fault?"
I pulled her into a tight hug and she squeezed back.
" Nobodies mad at you everyone is just feeling hurt right now because someone is in pain and won't let us help them"
" Azula?"
" Yeah... I'm sorry nobodies been playing with you..., I have an idea how about you Suki Mai and I have a girls day"
" What's that?"
"well, we can do whatever you wanna do, How does that sound?"
She wiped her red eyes and replaced them with a smile and jumped up from the ground.
" Yes and we can play battle and make snacks and play games!"
" Exactly now how about you go find your father and ask him if it's alright for you to come and I'll ask your brother if it's okay to take you out to the market "
" Okay!"
She ran in the direction of her room apologizing to every servant she scared on her way.
I got up and walked around the palace until I found Zuko's Office it was where he went to think and work by himself and where he had sheltered himself for the past few days. He doesn't use his father's office I don't think any of us go in there it's just a storing closet for all his stuff we didn't want around the palace.
I knocked on the door and heard his quick response " Come in "
I let myself in and was relieved to see he was cleaning up the piles of papers that had stacked up over his desk, he even opened up the window it didn't feel like a tomb anymore.
" Hello Zuko I'm happy to see you cleaning up this place"
" well I had to eventually can't let anymore work get sidetracked"
" Yeah.. and you're sure going back to work right now is the best Idea"
" I'm the Firelord I can't just take a break for a few weeks to sulk "
" Okay... but don't push yourself too hard please you could burn out if you don't pace yourself"
" I know thank you, now what is it you needed"
" Well I was hoping Mai Suki and I could take Kiyi out to the market for a little girls trip just to get her out of the house I promise we'll keep her safe and most of the kingdom doesn't know what she looks like"
He thought it over and smiled
" I don't see why not but make sure her father knows and have your eyes on her at all times"
" Thank you"
I bowed and left so he could get back to work and rushed into the training room Mai Suki and the other Kyoshi warriors were talking and practicing along with Sokka who was practicing his sword fighting with Suki.
The room smelled like sweat and gripping powder but I liked that it opened up into the garden. There was lots of room for sparring even more after we got rid of some of what we think was Ozais workout machines? if you could call it that they were more like torture tools, if you didn't have perfect balance and form you could easily get your head chopped off.
" Suki, Mai! "
I distracted Suki who looked away for just a second away from Sokka but it let him get the upper ground he cracked a smile and went to score a point but she laughed his confidence off and swept his leg from under him and he pulled her by the arm bringing her down with him.
It was cute seeing how happy they were as they both helped each other up laughing at each other's clumsiness.
" What's up Tylee you wanna go one on one with me"
" No not today I was thinking that you and Mai would like to have a little girls trip with Kiyi and me"
" Oh- Yah I'm not busy sounds like a good idea I need to get out of this depressing palace anyway"
Mai calmly approached us thinking over my request.
" I'm not one to like these sort of things but even for me this place is getting a little too bleak"
" Perfect! Kiyi is going to be so excited"
" You assured me that your not the excited one"
I pulled them both with me Suki laughed with me and I could tell Mai didn't hate this plan. as we rushed down the corridors
Kiyi was in her father Noren's arms and rambling to him about our trip.
" You ladies be safe out there and have fun I'll make sure to send a falcon if there's any news on Ursa"
" Please do and yes I'm sure we're going to have the best girl's trip ever!"
" Not so fast" Mai put her hand on my shoulder trying to get me to settle down " We can't just walk around town like this there going to be able to tell we're noblemen and with everything going on we need disguises"
" I guess that's true me and Suki stick out like sore thumbs"
Mai snapped her finger and two Maids came to her side " Could you get us some less distracting clothing for us"
They rushed down the hall into what I think was the dressing room while Mai pulled us into one of the spa rooms a few doors down.
Suki sat down in front of the sink
" could you help me wipe off my Kyoshi makeup"
" of course!"
I poured some water onto a towel and took the bottle of soup and poured a few drops on it I scrunched it up until it made bubbles and smelled like citrus. I lifted the towel and started rubbing off Suki's makeup starting at the very heavy red eye makeup.
" I said remove my makeup not my skin"
She smiled and squinted trying not to get soap in her eyes.
" Sorry Suki" I tried being gentle and eventually it came off when she took off my makeup she was much faster and way nicer to my skin.
" How are you so good at this"
" Years of practice"
The servants came in and helped us get dressed and in the end, we looked like normal teenagers and a five-year-old.
" You ready ladies"
" Definitely"
"Sure whatever"
Time skip
The Fire nation streets were alive with music and people it was nice to see but it felt weird seeing everything back to normal so quickly. Kiyi was holding my hand and skipping down the street very excited to look at everything from the lanterns to mothers' grocery shopping at the markets.
It felt so nice to be outside and be around people I looked up and let the sun warm my face but while I wasn't paying attention I walked straightforward into a cart it didn't hurt that much but the cart toppled over spilling dozens of cabbages into the street for them to be stepped on and covered in the dust.
" MY CABBAGES!"
A short old man howled at me practically brought to tears by his cabbages being destroyed I knelt and started collecting as many as I could before they were stepped on
" I am so sorry sir it was an accident let me help"
" No! you've done enough you and your friends leave before anything else happens"
I bowed and pulled Kiyi away from the sight while trying my best not to anger him any more than he already was.
Kiyi tugged on my sleeve and pointed at the sign above us " Can we get fire noodles pretty please"
" anything for you princess" I picked her up and Mai looked like she was trying not to be noticeably miserable in front of her.
The restaurant was loud and noisy but it was so nice hearing the sound of laughter again.
We found a small booth and looked around at the other tables. I love seeing Music in the streets for so long it was banned and completely unheard of to dance in public just for fun.
This was one of my favorite rules that Zuko changed I remember the first time leaving the fire nation and seeing a drum circle with this group of musicians.
Azula wanted to avoid them but I was so interested and I could tell she was to, she just wouldn't admit that to herself.
I started humming the melody of the song he sang that was stuck in my head for days and days while we were on the hunt for the avatar after the first week Mai and Tylee were just about to kill me if I sang Secret tunnel again.
Suki recognized my humming and her eyes popped open " SECRET TUNNEL!"
" You've heard of it!"
" They're one of my favorite bands I know all their songs"
" Oh dear god" Mai pushed her head against the table, Suki Kiyi and I started laughing.
the waitress came over and took our orders I ordered roasted Porkdeer dumplings and Kiyi got her fire noodles. Mai and Sukki both ordered steamed fish and rice.
Just when I thought our day was already going perfectly the music in the restaurant picked up the sound of the drum felt like it resonated with my heart and I couldn't help myself from leaping out of my seat and pulling Kiyi along with me.
She and I danced together at the center of the floor and after shaking off her embarrassment Suki joined. Kiyi giggled when I swooped her up and spun her around.
" Come on Mai dance with us"
" I would rather die"
I laughed and Kiyi pulled in a couple to dance to I didn't recognize the song but not to brag but I am a pretty good dancer. I missed laughing this much I missed hearing laughter and the feeling of adrenaline you get dancing in the center of the room. I could tell Kiyi was feeling better too.
Eventually, we got most of the restaurant to start dancing because nobody can reject a little girl pulling them into a dance circle only heartless monsters.
Kiyi ran over to Mai and tugged on her sleeve trying to bring her to us in the center of the crowd.
" Come on Mai you can't say no to that face"
She groaned and walked over to us and I could see a small smile crack thrue
I went to the table to get another drink and saw the only table with people, not dancing, and took a closer look.
I recognized her face and curly long brown hair and couldn't get the words to come out before her friend pointed me out to her.
all three of them jumped from their table as if they were about to make a run for it.
"You don't need to run we aren't here to take you in"
The girl wrestled with the thought of trusting me
" You were with Azula until she left with Mirai"
" Yah we were and who are you?"
" I'm Tylee I was a childhood friend of Azula can I know you're names "
" I'm Kumara and these are my friends Pokuu and Zulon we aren't here to start any trouble we're only staying here until we have enough money to head back home"
She didn't look as tensed but the boy Zulon who kept his eyes trained on me
" May I sit down"
" Sure as long as you're not arresting us"
I smiled and scooted into the booth next to Kumara. "It's nice to meet you three I was surprised to see Azula working with others again"
" less working with and more like using " Zulon snapped and took a sip from his drink spilling some on the table when he slammed it down.
" I don't know Azula has a hard time trusting people she wouldn't have stuck with you if she didn't feel like she could at least trust you and you trusted her"
Kumara fiddled with her hair " well trusting her turned out to be a mistake she left me- I mean us for some stupid Fire bending"
" I'm sorry I get it caring about her is risky when she doesn't reciprocate"
" wait are you, Yah know"
I blinked confused at what she meant until it sparked into my head and I blushed at her ability to read it so quickly
"Yes, well I think, I had a crush on Azula for some time but quite obviously she didn't feel the same and it's still not technically legal in the Fire Nation I haven't really experimented if you get what I mean"
" I guess but to be honest I knew the moment I first kissed my girlfriend and of course I never really liked boys"
" I Like boys that's the confusing part but I also like girls but only sometimes like I need to get to know them if that makes sense"
" Yah I get it, I have to say it's nice talking to another girl about this"
" Totally the last person I told was Azula and she didn't get it probably because she didn't feel the same way and she "
" I don't know about that she did talk about you and you were the only person I think she wrote her last note to"
" what do you mean I never got a letter from her"
She slapped her hand over her mouth and cursed herself " damn my mouth I shouldn't have said anything I shouldn't ask you this but have you looked through all of Azulas things from the hospital"
" No, Zuko locked them up in her room as soon as they brought them to the palace"
" Well I think she wrote to you during the night of the fire she kept repeating your name and calling out your name while I was saving her"
I stared at her blankly trying to piece it all together
" Then again she was delirious and losing blood so it might have just been rambling but When I found her there a cut in her pillow as if she stuffed something inside"
" I'm sorry this is just a lot to process why would she have written me her last thoughts she didn't know she was going to be attacked that night"
She looked at me and then down at the table and a horrible thought crossed my mind
" You're not telling me she"
" I'm sorry that was none of my business to tell but I can't help her anymore she needs somebody shes in a lot of pain and I don't think I can change her"
She stood up and her friends followed along with her Pokku turned to me and waved frantically " it was nice speaking with you I see why Azula liked you so much" I tried to follow but I lost them in the crowd of dancers.
I sat back down at the booth and finished my dumplings I looked up at her empty bowl of fire noodles and searched the room for her.
I walked back on the dance floor and found Mai and Suki " Weres Kiyi?"
I sliver of panic shot through me when they seemed confused " We thought she was with you"
All of us immediately pushed past people " KIYI!" I could feel my heart pounding as thousand horrible thoughts came to mind of what could have happened.
I'm such an idiot he said to keep my eyes on her at all times and I got distracted and Oh god what if we don't find her.
Suki jumped up on the table and yelled silencing the room " Does anyone see a little girl with brown hair in two buns her name is Kiyi" The music stopped and the people in the room looked amongst themselves.
I pulled out my fan and dashed out the door right that moment I spotted two figures in black running down the busy street with a struggling bag.
" Mai Suki they took her this way!"
They jumped from off the tables and I threw my money at the waiter before rushing out the door with them. The streets were busy so it was hard to get people to move out of our way.
I jumped up and landed at the top of the shop roofs and helped Mai and Suki up with me. From above I could see the men running down the road and then stopping at the front of a market trying to blend in.
We bounced from each rooftop Mai pulled out her knives and aimed them at him.
" don't throw from here you could hit her or a stranger"
Suki dropped to the ground and pushed past people me and Mai followed her from above. Suki grabbed him by the collar and shoved him to the ground the man with Kiyi stuck inside a bag looked back and continued running.
Suki shoved his face into the ground and held her fan close to his throat.
" Not another move, I'm putting you under arrest for kidnapping the princess"
Mai and I kept up with the second man who made it hard to keep up with him because he kept sneaking through alleyways and building's back doors.
Zuko is gonna kill me if I don't get her back I flipped off the top of the building and landed in front of him he froze and in the last resort shot a ball of fire towards me.
Mai shoved me out of the way and pushed us both to the ground She quickly plucked out her knives and threw them towards his feet the blade stabbed his right ankle.
He bent down in pain and pulled the knife out of him I could see the bag form a small rip and a tiny hand stick out of it.
Just when I thought he would switch rodes again and we would lose him that small hand made a powerful little flame that set the bag on fire. I jumped up from the ground and ran towards them Kiyi jumped out of the burning hole ripping thru the bag and leaped into my arms.
I hugged her back but put her down to finish it up I struck him in the side and neck knocking him out briefly.
" Kiyi are you alright I'm so sorry I let this happen"
" It was fun did you see what I did I made fire like Zuko"
" I did that was amazing did you know you could do that, you're brother is going to be so proud"
Mai walked over and picked up Kiyi and dusted her off " How about we talk about this later for now we should get back to the palace before anything else happens"
" Your right this was a close call we should bring these guys in for interrogation"
Mai glared down at the man and pulled off his mask " You disgust me"
Suki walked over to us dragging her wrapped up prisoner behind her " I'm glad you guys caught him Zuko would have killed us"
Kiyi jumped on my shoulders and we dragged the men to the police station it was a brief interaction but we told them we would have the fire lord settle the rest later.
Finally, we made it back to the palace and I was completely exhausted Kiyi told her father about what happened and I was sure he would scold us but he seemed relieved it all ended well.
" Daddy I can fire bend look!" She lit a small fire in her hand and smiled so big you wouldn't have thought she had been kidnapped today.
" That's an amazing sweetie but you know you have to be careful you cant play with it"
" I know"
The rest of the night we spent relaxing and putting on face masks in Kiyis's room. Suki told stories about the Kyoshi warriors and Mai perfectly braided Kiyis's hair. Kiyi practiced making small little fires in her hand and she looked so happy holding it you would have thought the fire had a life of its own.
The night passed on but the adrenaline of the day wouldn't wear off the rest of the girls fell asleep and it was cute seeing Mai with her hair looking so lopsided and wrapped with messy ribbons.
I tossed and turned in bed trying to shake off the feeling of anxiety
Maybe I'll just take a small walk around the castle to tire myself out.
I slowly crawled out of the large bed and tip road out of the room sliding the door open and shutting it without waking the girls up.
The halls were quiet at night most of the guards were planted outside the doors I waved at them and some waved back or gave a small smile.
I walked past the Garden that looked stunning at night with the moon reflecting on the water and the flowers tucked away like little sleeping fairies.
I stopped at the main hall and I don't think I was planning on it but I took a sharp turn down the left hallway instead of walking back to the room.
I couldn't get what Kumara said out of my head she said there was a letter but we were all sure she was attacked.
That's why we were so confused Azula left with the distinguishers if they had almost killed her before. I stood at her door and I could feel my hands shaking. I missed having a sleepover with her when we were little it feels strange not seeing her here. But I can't deny how scared she made me I still have her constant ridicule repeat in my head when I do something she didn't like.
I slowly opened the door and took in the familiar space it no longer smelled like jasmine candles the way she always liked. I know she's alive but it still feels like I lost her.
I walked farther in and felt a crunch under my feet I looked below at the shattered pieces of glass that looked shoved under the bed. Her bed looked like it had been moved to reveal the slightly scratched hardwood floor.
I could feel how on edge I was as I tried to let myself breathe in a room that felt so suffocating
She was in so much pain I could tell she hated me I don't exactly blame her. Ozai took her and twisted that girl up and worked her until she was a broken child trying to hold all her shards together cold and calculating with no room for affection.
I was her right-hand woman her shadow since we were kids she used me as her father used her as if I was just a pond on the bored. I hate her so much for how she treated me the insults pushing me down every time I felt like just maybe I could be as strong as her even without bending.
But I loved her more than anyone else to she made me feel important different from my sisters because she chose to be friends with me it was Toxic and it was unrequited but I would have put my life on the line for hers in a heartbeat. It's hard shaking that it's harder knowing that she's human she's not a monster that I can push all the blame onto
It would be easy to say she deserved what she had coming that she's a cold machine all the way through but I saw who she was in those brief glimpses of humanity she gave to us. She hated being vulnerable almost as if she was terrified of showing any amount of weakness to anyone. But sometimes whether it was to manipulate me or not she let me in, whether it was telling me about her mother or just a second of empathy.
They were hard to come by but I know that she's not the monster she thinks she is. I wiped a few tears that fell and opened up the boxes brought in from the hospital. I shrieked when I saw the blood now dried that covered the blankets. I lifted it out and looked through it until I found her pillow.
I couldn't see any holes in the darkness so I walked closer to the window using the moonlight to see what I could find. I saw a small line that looks like it had been burned and seemed back together was hidden on the rim of the pillow I tugged at it and the feathers came falling out.
I blew the few feathers out of my face and stuck my hand in to see what I could find I felt something cold and metal and pulled it out.
" A key?"
At least that's what it looked like it was a small piece of metal that looked melted distorted to become a key.
Was this a key to something important maybe a diary or a drawer? I kept digging through the pillow until I found two slips of paper.
I was surprised I found them but here they were I can't believe nobody even checked inside these boxes.
The pieces of paper were folded neatly and each had names on them Tylee and Father. So it was true she did right to me the rest of my conversation with Kumara came to me and I begged that what I assumed wasn't true.
I unfolded my note carefully trying not to smudge any of the words but by this point, I had already felt my throat tighten and tears prick my eyes.
Hello Tylee
If you're reading this I am most likely dead, I'm thinking about what your face could look like right now and I don't see that it's very likely your torn up about this, after all, you didn't care about me in life maybe you used to a long time ago but somehow my mother got into your head and convinced you to betray me along with Mai and pretty much everyone else. I don't think you'll care but I couldn't think of anyone else I wanted to write to. I spent my entire life working for the day I would make an impact on the world I would become one of the greatest fire lords to ever live how pathetic is it that the last thing I'm leaving this world with is this stupid letter. I'm dragging this on aren't I, I guess it is my suicide Note I could spend the next page just insulting you telling you how much I hate you and how much I wish I had never met you but I don't want to waste this paper being angry. I don't want to waste my last few minutes alive being angry I've already wasted so much of my life is that. I don't want to be angry anymore I don't know what happens after death may be nothing happens but I doubt the universe would let me off that easy. Maybe I'll be reborn as a Phoenix a majestic bird with unlimited lives to live burning in flames turning to ash and getting a fresh start over and over. I wish I had that the power to start over from the beginning I wonder what I would do differently Then again I'm in the habit of making the same mistakes over and over again, I don't see too much of my life-changing. Maybe if I had begged my mom to stay or just pretended to be good for her things would be different. Maybe if I tried less perhaps pretend I was a non-bender Zuko would have been my father's favorite. What a ridiculous thought of me being the one who was banished could you imagine me with that scar. Well, I have a few scars of my own but my father didn't make those. I'm sorry I should have been a better friend to you all you ever wanted was to be mine I wish I hadn't made it so hard for you. I'm at peace with it I can't help but feel relieved that I'll be gone soon as morbid as that sounds. I don't want to die I just don't want this life anymore I lost everything, my family, my home my friends even my mind and I might have deserved it. After all, father says that only the powerful can lead and look who's in charge the very people I thought I was better then. I can't look in reflections without seeing my mother I can't think without hearing voices and I can't sleep without hearing the sounds of war and screams and I just want silence. I think I loved you if that means anything at all if you could do me a favor and tell my brother I'm sorry I'd appreciate it. I'm still too angry at him to write it myself but I think we used to be normal siblings once and If that's worth anything at all then maybe he can forgive me for burning Kiyi and letting him get burned too. Maybe in some reality, if we had normal childhoods we could have been close. I don't want people to pity me when I die I don't want to be that princess who killed herself but I don't have much control over that, do I? I tried so hard to be perfect and I'm tired and I can't fight anymore, but this isn't the battle that gets written in history textbooks or told at family dinner isn't it. I'm running out of paper and a part of me wants to keep writing until morning, Goodnight Tylee for what it's worth you made me want to change even when I can't.
I felt numb reading over her words again until big tears fell and I had to keep swimmers from escaping my throat
Sobs wracked through me as I crawled up onto her bed crying into the pillow and trying to catch my breath I felt this bone-weary sadness as tears cascaded down my face like a waterfall.
I stood up clutching the note and wiping the tears from my face leaving the room so I could catch my breath a few guards asked if I needed help but I waved them off. I walked slowly down the halls trying hard not to wake anyone up.
I made it to Azulas Kamidana the one thing they still hadn't taken down her shrine with the painting of her in armor the day of her first mission she was so excited to leave the fire nation just for a week.
I crouched down and tried to say a prayer but all that I could do was cry and hope she was still alive. She was still in danger she could be dead now and nobody would know because she left with them.
" I am so so sorry, we were just trying to help but we didn't I just made things worse"
I heard a shuffling and a small groan
" Tylee is that you why are you still awake"
it was Zuko in his sleeping robe rubbing his eyes I must have woken him up I tried to get words out but all the came out were louder sobs.
" Woh woh what's wrong it's okay do you need help do you want me to get Mai"
He kneeled next to me and put his hand on my shoulder I could tell he didn't know what to do but I was grateful he was trying to console me.
" It's nothing really, I just feel bad about what happened and I miss her"
I felt bad lying to him but a part of me didn't want to tell him about what Azula tried to do while he was still dealing with his mother's sickness and his father's death.
" Oh- It's ok I get it a lot is going on right now and as much as I should have expected it I never thought she would put us through this, I'm still trying to deal with all my stuff to"
I hugged him and he seemed surprised but hugged back " are you sure your okay Tylee.?Aang is just down the hall and he's much better at this kinda stuff"
" No really I'm fine I'm sorry I woke you up"
" you didn't I just couldn't sleep and be in the garden "
"That's good, anyway I'm gonna try and get some sleep"
" I think I will to good night"
he walked down the hall and I felt a pang of guilt from hiding the truth and apart from me feels like Azula should be the one to tell him not me.
I made it back to Kiyi's room and curled up into bed with the others Mai stirred awake blinking at me " Why were you up for that long I was about to get up and look for you" I buried my face into her arms and let out a few small tears she didn't say anything I didn't expect her to but she hugged me and gently rubbing my back as if she knew I couldn't talk about it " I know I miss her too"